My Master's Birthday

Me with Sifu and Simo on their birthday

Last week, I had the honor and privilege to celebrate my master's birthday with some of his family and close friends who were able to attend. It just so happens that Sifu's wife (the wife of the Sifu is known as the Simo) has the same birthday as Sifu. We went to Cuban Pete's in Montclair and it was a night of laughs, fun, and love.

I had a very long month, and I get into that funk where I don't want to do anything. But when Sifu invited me to join in on their birthday celebration, my heart leaped. I was honored he even thought of me, but even moreso, I felt that I belonged. I really wanted to be there to celebrate these two wonderful individuals, but it was also a very much needed night out for me. I was so happy to be there for them both.

I know just about everyone who attended. Some were long reigning kung fu students who I have come to know in the last couple years, especially John, Patty, David, Andy, and Quaasim. And I even met a few new faces a little more. It was nice to be in a different setting and enjoy my time with the kung fu family in a different atmosphere, and they made me feel like I belonged right in there. Even Sifu said to me at one point "You belong with us," which put a big smile on my face.

I got to spend a little time with Sifu's mother and had a few laughs with her, I met Sifu's brother and sister-in-law, we ate plenty of food and had plenty of laughs, but I also got some personal time with the Simo! We kept taking pictures and laughing, and I heard the Simo version of how the two met. I am sure the Sifu version has some tweeks in it, or so she claims, lol. But the room was full of love. Sifu always provides an atmosphere filled with love and you felt it in that room. And the love between Sifu and Simo is such a beautiful display of love in the world. I wish the two of them many blessings in the upcoming year and hope the two of them had a very happy birthday! (BOWS)

Me and Simo

Yours in service,
MASTER A TRENTO

The Flower Lady

Last year in May, an older woman walked in during the Trento's Angels' Black Belt test. She had a basket of beautifully wooden carved flowers painted and scented as roses. She was selling them for Mother's Day. She came in early one day, and many people walk in to sell things sometimes. But when I saw her, she had a warmth in her smile that was contagious. I asked her to return to the school when I knew there were a lot of people, hoping she could get a little business.

So she left and she did return, but before pitching her flowers, I was still in the middle of the Black Belt test and she sat down as a spectator. I remember afterwards coming over to her and her response to the test was unbelievable. She was in awe at what she saw these three girls doing, and she was so happy for them as if she knew them all her life. Black Belt tests can have that effect on you here. She said she would never forget that part of the test she witnessed. I was so happy it had such a positive impact on her, just by watching. It also made me feel good as a master instructor that someone could recognize what I was doing with my students and saw how proud I was of my girls.

Nine months later, I am working on my computer on a Saturday and I hear my door open. I go to see who it is and I see the flower lady has returned with her big basket. I greeted her with a big hello, recognizing her immediately. She greeted me with that same warm smile, but she commented on my smile. "I love how I am greeted with such a loving smile as if I am an old friend!" I told her "You are an old friend!" She laughed and sat down and we talked.

She is a very spiritual lady, and she couldn't believe how much I remembered about her from our brief encounters nine months earlier. We talked about my students, keeping busy, using our minds, spirituality, and how her faith in God helped her survive cancer. I shared with her my own story of dealing with health issues, and people I know who have done amazing things with their health. But a lot of it stems to gratitude and laughter. Thats what this woman was filled with.

After a long time talking, I invited her back to come sell her roses during Mother's Day week again. I told her my doors are always open to her, as they are to everyone. She looked at me and said "This is a very safe place here. It feels good to be here." That meant more to me than anything else. I am happy that this woman felt that safe energy of the sanctuary my school gives. She gave me her blessings and told me to continue the work I am supposed to do. And I will. (BOWS)

Yours in service,
MASTER A TRENTO

Hugs Not Hate

In spirituality, in psychology, in life, the duality that exists stem from two very opposing sides. Love and Hate. God and Satan. Spirit and Ego. Love and Fear. One cannot be more different from the rest. Sometimes we act in accordance to our love in the world. When we do things that are love-based vs fear-based, we make better decisions for our lives, we interact better with people, we response instead of react, and we are solution minded with our selves, circumstances, and with others.

When we come from a place of spirit, we make a "truer", if you will, choice that aligns us the our higher selves in fulfilling what we are meant to do with our lives. My mentor taught me that in each religion there is a "satanic" being and the word Satan in Hebrew means opponent. And that Satan uses ego to get people to do his dirty work. He uses superstition, paranoia, arrogance, and hatred to control people. And people who succumb to these traps end up suffering a worse punishment unto themselves. Remember, God and religion are two different entities, don't confuse the two.

"Love one another: that was his greatest commandment." You will find this line in the bible. Not a church going person? That's fine, you don't have to be in order to exude love unto others. To come from a true place of Love, one can find TRUE gratitude, TRUE forgiveness, TRUE happiness, despite life's circumstances. When one comes from a place of hate, only chaos and destruction can come forth.

Hate must not be met with hate. There are some people in the world who would love to convince themselves that they are not "hating", they just feel justified by their anger, or their view of reciprocity, or they are indifferent and not caring. But the truth is, sometimes inaction can be just as bad, if not worse, as an act of hatred. I have said in many blogs you should never go out of your way to hurt others and hope for the suffering of others. And karma, a very real spiritual energy in this world, goes a long way.

I have taught over 15 years about bullying and abuse. We all are guilty of doing it in our lifetime, consciously or subconsciously, and we have all been victims of it as well. Growing up, any sign of hate or bullying, or abuse, acts of ignorance always enraged me and I wanted to stand up for it. Maybe it's my martial arts training. Maybe it's a accumulation of my own life experience.  Either way, I stand up for what I believe is right.

For the second time, in the back of my school, there was a large group of kids gathered. A fight broke out between two people. When I heard it, I ran and opened my door, and I couldn't believe how fast these group of kids ran. I was enraged. I don't know what made me more angry. The fact that one kid decided it was a good idea to throw punches to physically hurt someone just because the other kid was irritating. The fact that the opposing kid felt he had to egg on and antagonize this person because of peer pressure. The fact that a group of kids were pressuring their peer to such an act. Or the fact that a group of what seemed like 20 kids stood there and watched everything and did nothing.

Trento is pissed. Evil thrives when good men do nothing. People say "I don't want to get involved." or "It's none of my business." MANKIND IS OUR BUSINESS! Shame on anyone who says otherwise. We are taught to cower away and stay out of things, ignore it all. So what people are being taught is to do nothing which sends the message it is okay to allow HATRED in our world because we won't do anything about it. I already called the parents of the two kids. I am calling the principal. The principal will say well it didn't happen on school grounds. Too bad, that's where the problem stemmed. I am going to get into this school and do something. 

Some people may say it's too late. Don't tell me what I can and cannot do, especially if it brings in more good in this world. Especially if I can get a love-based mentality. Motivation and encouragement is needed for these kids and they need to get it from somewhere. They need to be taught how to be human beings, not just math and writing. I will make a difference.

Enough of pissy attitudes, arrogant hissy fits, ignorant remarks, close minded actions, entitled behaviors. Enough is enough. This is why there is discrimination against races, cultures, sexuality, skin color, religions, and things need to change. And they will.

My brother put this video up on his Facebook wall. Growing up, watching movies, TV shows, or hearing stories of such hate and ignorance always made me angry and emotional. I believe in mankind too much and have faith in the people we can be. People cannot lose hope. This video had me in tears mostly because I was proud of the responses of some of the bystanders, but the last bystander took the cake. I am a new fan of her acronym H.U.G.S: Helping Us Grow Spiritually. We need more HUGS in the world. I am a big hugger. Studies show 4 hugs a day for survival, 8 hugs a day for maintenance, and 12 for growth. We need to do more hugging!

Yours in service,
MASTER A TRENTO

Operation Babs!

Operation Babs in now in progress. I made a goal back in May 2013 and I even put it in my blog post entitled Bye Bye Barbara. Since my freshman year of high school I have followed and studied the work of the icon Barbara Walters. She is a pioneer in the world of journalism, making history not only becoming the first woman anchor of a morning news program, the first woman anchor of an evening news program, but also for doing the work in the industry no other journalist, male or female, would ever do.

The goal is to meet my long time idol in person, just just as a hand shake greeting, but a sit down interview, maybe luncheon type of meeting. I have approximately four to five months to do this since she has announced her retirement last May. Sometimes you have to make a goal that is so big that when you achieve it, you know there is nothing stopping you from achieving anything in your life.

Barbara Walters had a tremendous influence on me in my work life. She does tremendous amount of research and homework. She gets the interviews no one can. To note, in politics she has interviewed every president since Richard Nixon, Vladimir Putin, Boris Yeltson, the Shah of Iran, Saddam Hussein, and Fidel Castro. She interviewed every huge infamous case such as the Menendez Brothers, O.J Simpson, Martha Stewart, Jason Williams, and Robert Blake. She got the first interview with rivaled politicians to sit down with one another. The first interview with Martha Stewart before her trial, and first interview only hours after her sentencing. The first interview with Christoipher Reeves after his accident, the first and ONLY interview with Monica Lewinsky.

Barbara Walters is also known for her specials. She did an Academy Award Special before the Oscars for 30 years, her 10 Most Fascinating People Special for over 20 years, anchored 20/20 for 25 years, and numerous other specials. The specials were a way of her doing what she wanted to do and cover topics she felt were important.

So I know she lives in Manhattan. She doesn't drive and walks to work. ABC is on 66th Ave in New York City. I am on my way! I have no idea how this will be achieved, but I know it WILL! I have a few thoughts of getting the ball rolling. But this is a goal I am going to work VERY hard to making come true! I will be keeping everyone updated. (BOWS)

Yours in service,
MASTER A TRENTO

Righting my Wrongs

     I remember the above saying when I went to see The Lion King on Broadway. Boy did it stick out for me in a huge way. I've heard the saying also to stop looking at the past because you don't live there anymore. I can harp on the past a lot. But I also love to learn, and learning from our histories, especially when you're trying to make huge personal changes, is just as important. But we cannot get stuck there. I think people confuse the idea when people research the past for answers and understanding and jump to the "stop living in the past" mode, which I can find ignorant at time.

   I got a very interesting response to my last blog on maturity and I'm glad it got people thinking. So this is kind of a part two for me. A friend of mine once said to me "I give advice to people, not because I think I am better than everyone else. It is because I want them to be better than me!" I very much have that view myself when I speak. I don't share my lessons just because I call them as I see them, or because I have it all figured out, it's also because many if not most of the times I have discovered them through my own struggles or I STILL currently struggle with them. Whether it be embracing the lesson itself, or putting into action.

Randy Pausch said "Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want." And truth be told, experience can be priceless. And sometimes, it can lead to big bruises. In my post about maturity, I did not want it to come off as if I was on my high horse and sound like I have maturity all figured out and am the most mature human in existence. Forgive me, that is not the case. I was VERY mature in many ways at a young age, but the lack of emotional experience limited me in my maturity in the bigger choices in life. I moved out on my own at 19 years old, and I had a lot of maturity in some things that made it work well, and in other areas I lacked maturity that would have allowed me to function much better. And don't get me wrong mistakes are good, but sometimes in your process of making mistakes and gaining that experience too soon or too late, can cause pain to others and you don't even realize it.

   The hope is that you come back with a renewed sense of self and intentions to become a better you which will overflow to others in a positive way. My martial arts training is not just training my body, it has been a journey to training myself mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, and I take that very seriously. My martial arts is no joke. That being said, when I take serious strides to better myself, that means the mistakes can be very serious as well. As part as my journey to maturing, my mistakes also hurt many others in the process. What is very important to me is to have enough humility to take responsibility for myself (my choices, actions, decisions that hurt others, and my words), and have enough integrity to right my wrongs.

   When righting your wrongs, it starts with self. I've been working on self for . As long as I am alive, I am always in a state of becoming. But you must also do the right thing. I am a believer in communication. The mind is like and umbrella, it works best when it is open, and interaction fuels action. One of the biggest problems in our society is that there is less communication and less laughter in the lives of people. People would rather pound their feet and strut with an attitude and be angry and hold grudges and hold onto their problems. I can say this, because I would do it too. And why not? That's what we know and it's comfortable. The martial artist in me never gives up either, so I am amazed that other people give up so easy. They give up on situations, people, dreams, and it amazes me. What a shame it is.

   I've done all these things too. I never wanted to be that kind of person to hold grudges, but I did and it only hurt me. When we do things against our own values, it errodes from our self-esteem, and when we don't face our own fears and issues, we self-sabotage and we attack others, usually the ones we love the most. I am absolutely guilty of this. It doesn't matter whether you intended to or not, it doesn't matter whether you realized it nor not. Because sometimes we do things and have no idea what we are actually doing. This is called disassociation. I've heard about it, but never understood it until I experienced it myself. These were hard lessons, and I felt horrible realizing I could commit such hurtful behaviors. This was part of my personal journey to maturing. But like becoming our full self, we are always maturing into new beings as well. This is how I came to the lessons of my last blog on maturity.

This above poster can be fanned out into many areas. How about being committed and loyal to your SELF. I built up my "self" for years and then left it to fend for itself. That's not how self-work works! But for others I have remained loyal and committed. Don't get me wrong. I have had many moments where I wanted to just throw my hands up in the air and I may have said I would, but I never went through with it. It's not in me. Even when I didn't want to, I remained committed to never giving up on others. It's something I always did, and no matter what, even if there are people who did not "deserve" or never did transform positively, at least they know one person never ever gave up on them in their life, and that was me. So you can imagine the hurt I got when people gave up on me in my life. Ooooof! Did it hurt.

That's part of maturing. Enduring those kind of experiences. They come from mistakes, they come from successes, but maturity is not a just behavior or a way of acting, it is a level of behavior due to experience that comes from enduring good achievements and bad mistakes. And making the attempt to right your wrongs is a high level of maturity. Sometimes people close off so much, you will never get the opportunity to right those wrongs, and I've seen it with others and experienced it myself. My opinion, that is immature and unfair. But only my opinion. But we have to do the best we can, and we do everything in our power to be consistent and not refer to the old habits of being that caused us to hurt ourselves and others. That is a mark of maturity.

We cannot victimize. I've done that too. The poor me mode is an illness, so avoid it. But if someone is making a genuine effort to make changes in their life, allow them the opportunity to right their wrongs, because most people never think they're wrong. And be sure to admit when you are wrong or contribute to a problem, because every situation is never one sided, and we all contribute to a conflict. "Ye who have no sin throw the first stone." Mhmmmm!!! The collective WE must be mature enough to take responsibility for our part, and to show forgiveness to others and attempt to right our own wrongs. I share this lesson in maturity because I too am applying it. I too struggle with it. I too suffer on the receiving end of it. I have great successes and I also have great failures in my lessons of maturity.

   None of us will ever be 100%. I know I desperately want to be, but I'd be happy with an 80/20, having the positive be the tipping point. I have righted a lot of wrongs in my self. I could not believe the positive response I have received from doing so and I am so grateful, and surprised. By being true to myself, so many areas have fallen back into place. The hardest part of fulfilling my own maturity is righting the wrongs of my past, whether it be my own self-sabotage or hurting others. Many if not most have allowed me that opportunity. There is a small few who are completely closed off to it, and they know that hurts me more. It makes me feel like a bad person, or the thought that I would never change is a sense of giving up on me. It's as bad as when people said to me in the past I would never open my own martial arts school. Shame on anyone who tells someone they will never do something, and the same goes for those who want to make a positive change for themselves to better themselves and better others. But I guess that too is a part of maturity. Knowing that with understanding comes acceptance, and when those who want to remain stuck and hold onto pain and disappointment, when those don't want to understand, we have to allow enough maturity to shower those people with compassion and forgive our own selves.

   Fight through the FEAR: Face Everything And Recover. Never lose FAITH: Feeling As If There's Hope. And always have HOPE: Hold On Possibilities Exits. These lessons come from SPIRIT and stays away from EGO. That is how we better ourselves and help others in the process. My lessons in maturity come mostly not from my successes, but from my shortcomings, my mistakes, and my failures. I share this so you can all be better than me. (BOWS)

Yours in service,
MASTER A TRENTO

Truth Behind Maturity

"Maturity is not measure by age. It's an attitude built by experience."

-Unknown

These are one of those topics that will forever come up because it is always thought provoking, there are as lot of opinions about it, and it comes with several following lessons with more and more experience. What is maturity? There are many levels to talk about maturity. But what is the essence of being mature? Is it just when our body fully develops? Is it when we understand the world in an effective way? Is it just a behavior?

First note, in martial arts you are taught whether you realize it or not the value of humility. I had the great opportunity of beginning martial arts training when I was very young. But as I have grown up with martial arts and proper upbringing, I have been taught something that always stuck with me: if you have to say it is so, then it is not true. For example, when people HAVE to say (and often repetitively) "I'm a very bright person" or "I worked really hard to get to where I am today" or "I'm very mature for my age" and even "I've been through a lot", it usually means you wish you did and need to say it for attention seeking.

I'm not saying that is 100% the case, however, in several, if not most circumstances that is exactly the case. The brightest people I know never have to say they are bright. The most hard-working people never talk about how hard they work. The most mature people I have ever met never had to tell me of their maturity. And the ones who have been through hard times never advertise it. Now I'm not saying they NEVER talk about those things with their closest inner circle or voice it with their best friends, but when coming in contact with others, if it's true you then you don't have to say it. It's more of a way to convince your own self of it's validity and to seek the attention and validation of others to be accepted.

I find true maturity is upholding that humility by just being without advertising. Here's the flip side to make you think: Are vain people then not mature? Of course that is not true either! The fictional character, Mary Poppins, was very vain but indeed quite dignified and mature.

When we go through adolescence, our body matures. When we go through those changes, we suddenly think we are mature in the mind as well. Not true of course. However, some instances it can be as well. A lot of duality when it comes to maturation. When I was 12 years old, I looked like I was in my twenties. Actually, I look exactly the same now as I did when I was 12. SO I was physically mature, yes. My behavior was also that of a person of maturation. I worked and interacted with adults several years my senior and knew how to communicate and behave. I was always told, for those who knew my age, I was mature beyond my years.

So my body was mature. My behavior was mature. Even my insights were mature. I was told I was like an 80 year old man talking sometimes. My interests could even be mature. Sit me down with a group of older generation people and I could talk history and culture of their time with the best of them! But did all these things really make me mature? What is the real essence of being mature?

The truth behind maturity lies with the experiences that impregnate themselves into our psyche, emotions, and values. The truth is, your real maturity comes when you have the proper, or I don't want to say proper because that sounds too subjective, but maybe effective experiences would be a better way of putting it, that is when real maturity comes through. The problem is, there are other adults who have the maturity under their belt, and they suffocate their children and students and not allow them to open safely into the world to have the experiences to fully mature. This can cause people to never mature ever, not mature until they are very late in life into adulthood, or mature too soon, missing out an just as important light-hearted experiences for the spirit as well.  

"Maturity is not when we start speaking BIG things. It is when we start understanding small things."

-Unknown

I have taught teenagers for a thousand years, give or take a day or two =P. I have worked with teenager who I believed to be very mature. They looked mature, behaved mature, but when the real meat and potatoes had to be dealt with, they could not handle it because they were not mature. They didn't know how to discern their emotions, unable to sympathize or empathize, did not know appropriateness whether it be time, words, or responses, and those kind of expectations are unreasonable when dealing with true maturity.

I have also met adults whose responses are surprisingly, and sometimes alarmingly childish. Their choices are almost self-sabotaging because they were sheltered or not nurtured to have the appropriate experiences to mature in a way they can function in life. And then of course there are those kids, or even adults, who are so mature because they DO have the experiences but way too soon in life, that they don't know how to love, express emotion, or take care of their selves in a healthy way. They self-sacrifice or people-please, they never make time for fun and entertainment, and they view it as a waste of time.

Time is an interesting thing. My Aunt Karen always told me time allows us just what we need. The time to act, the time to change our minds, but never stay in place too long, or you find yourself getting stuck. But part of true maturation is experiencing all the good and all the bad in an effectively learning way. Have you ever been told to learn from your mistakes? How many people were actually given the proper nurturing to know that there are lessons in all that we do and in all our experiences? Instead, teacher, coaches, parents, and even friends just label bad and good. And this can be detrimental to the developmental processes as human beings.

"Perfect maturity is when a person hurts you, and you try to understand their situation and don't hurt them back."

-Unknown

It is never too late to mature! Whether you're a teenager, or an adult, but it can be too soon if your a child. As human beings, let us just remember to not limit people's experiences, but also be mature enough ourselves to not give too much experience too soon. Let us always provide and create an atmosphere that is safe and comfortable to allow experiences to flourish, and to continually support as much of the mistakes and mishaps as we do in the successes and accomplishments. That is where the yin and yang of finding true maturity. It is our obligation as human beings to be beacon of lights for others. Because whether we like it or not, that is exactly what we are. (BOWS)

Yours in service,
MASTER A TRENTO

Mastov the Black Belt

Edward Mastov, Rockaway Fight Center's first Haganah Black Belt with Master Samuel DeJesus

I'm still catching up on a few blogs. But this is one I know I most definitely wanted to write. A couple years ago or so, I had the opportunity to see a Haganah belt test at Rockaway Fight Center facilitated by my personal mentor, Master Samuel DeJesus. When this past year he told me that he was going to be having his first student test for Black Belt in Haganah, I knew it was an occasion I couldn't miss.

I not only wanted to see it because of the occasion, but I also knew the person testing. His name is Edward Mastov. I have had the opportunity to work with Mastov in my own sessions with Master DeJesus, classes I took at the school, and seminars I have participated to learning the self-defense art of Haganah. Mastov is yet another great embodiment of what a Black Belt should be.

Nothing stops him. He faces each and every challenge presented to him. He pushes himself beyond his limits. And he also keeps a light heart, which in my book is such a key thing to have no matter how fierce a warrior you are. And this Haganah test is no joke.

The art itself is very militant, founded by Mike Lee Kanarak who I had the privilege of meeting in the summer. It is a very physically demanding test and why wouldn't it be? Ever hear of bootcamp? If you went to any type of military bootcamp is required, therefore you better prepare as if you were in bootcamp. Most outsiders seeing this test would find it very brutal, even barbaric. And I absolutely love it! Why? Well as in any martial arts there is a physical and mental side to thing. You are testing your physical limitations beyond ways you ever imagined, which is something you would want in any test. But also in martial arts it is the mental preparation that gets you through those physically challenging moments.

You are being beaten down mentally too, and if your mind and emotions are strong, your body will follow even when you want to give up. It's all about WILL. Your willpower develops more and more as you are challenged more and more. Besides an astronomical amount of conditioning exercises such as burpees, squats, leg lifts, push ups, sit ups, and more, Mastov had to demonstrate all his combative striking abilities, engagement drills while being pummeled on, he had to do several rounds of sparring, and demonstrate ALL of his Haganah material which would include open hand street scenarios, gun scenarios, knife defenses, knife on knife fighting, ground survival, and pistol training.

I was inspired to see Mastov go through this entire ordeal, and at the same time I also began fantastizing if I were ever to take this test. Part of me feels unsure of whether I could handle a test like this, and another part is very excited about the idea of taking a Haganah test. But here was a man achieving his Black Belt in Haganah! What a milestone! I'm unsure of whether Mastov ever thought he would make it to Black Belt, but can you imagine the multiple levels of this type of testing and material he had to go through and know before reaching this point? It is honorable and awe-inspiring. I know Master DeJesus was very proud of his student.

Mastov, I know it's been a while, but a well deserved congratulations to you sir on a fantastic job on your Black Belt test in Haganah. I hope one day to perhaps reach the same level one day in my future. You are an inspiration to all your fellow students and made every at Rockaway Fight Center and us extended family very proud! You represented your master so well, and everything a Black Belt of any martial art is all about. Well done, sir, well done.  (BOWS)

Yours in service,
MASTER A TRENTO