The Disease of Arrogance

Arrogance: an attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or in presumptuous claims or assumptions

Have you ever met someone or fell in a situation with or have a friend who no matter how wrong they are try to justify their actions and have totally disregard for other people or circumstance that could affect you or other people? We run into it a lot, and as I get older I feel like I see it more and more. I find basic arrogance begins with being ignorant to the facts, then even after discovery of truth comes inconsideration and lack of empathy toward other parties and effort in making themselves untouchable. Does this make sense? 

Ever try calling out an arrogant person?  They do something against the rule or don't agree with a law and they say "Well that's stupid!".  Disregarding that there are reasons for rules and laws. I find arrogant people believe or at least act and behave as if they are above the law. Arrogance can also come from an ego driven mind. I am not writing off ego by any means, we all have it and there is a place for it in our lives. But when our egos get o big that it makes us conceited, we need to get a grip and tone it down. The lesson of humility needs to sink in. The attitude that they feel they are owed something and have the air of indignation is exasperating.

Those egotistical arrogant people will always try to one up people or situations. "Oh did you see what little Matt did the other day?"..."Oh you should see me do that!" "Sally did such and such last week!"..."Man, I've done that twenty times and then some!" It's always about them. It's what they want an it's how they want it. 

We all have moments where we get selfish. And a lot of those people will say that about OTHER people. They will find the qualities they hold within someone else but never admit it in themselves, or choose not to see it. On the slip side to that is also how arrogant people do not have empathy.

Empathy: the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner.

An empathetic and considerate person who keeps their ego in check has the capacity to act accordingly to the needs of the people they care about (granted that there are no underlying alternative intentions on either side) without being explained to. Randy Pausch, author of The Last Lecture told a story of his mentor Andy Van Dam telling him when he was younger "It’s such a shame that people perceive you as so arrogant. Because it’s going to limit what you’re going to be able to accomplish in life."

That is because no one wants to deal with selfish and arrogant people who cannot think outside the box, who can't empathize with other people, who cannot make decisions that are right and will be beneficial to all,  and don't want to deal with people who don't make the effort to do what is right. It is a life skill to understand what people need and not put them in  position where they will be hurt, misunderstood, or done wrong. and when it happens multiple times, arrogant people show a pattern and lose trust and respect with people.

I was talking to Julie today, she came over to visit, and I discussed today's blog topic and we had a big discussion. I have two MAJOR pet peeves. One of them is when arrogant people say "I don't see what the big deal is!" AAAAAAARRRRGGGHHHH!!!!! As Julie put it, and I agree one hundred percent with her, just because it's not important to YOU does not mean it doesn't mean something to someone else. And I add on, when someone KNOWS what is important to someone else, then they have the human obligation to be responsible to act accordingly to that person's expectations to what "the big deal" is.

The second is when people say they are "busy". Guess what, EVERYONE is busy! I am ALWAYS busy, but never do you hear me utter those words to someone. If I cannot do something, I politely verbalize what it is that prevents me from giving my full attention. But when people hear "I'm busy" most people interpret that as "you are less important right now and so are your needs so I must disregard you."

The disease of arrogance is one we will have to deal with. When the ones you love most display this behavior, it can be frustrating, and hurtful. But the cure is to learn the basic understanding of caring for other people's feeling (empathy), and acting accordingly within reasonable means. Some say arrogant people find common courtesy to be a burden. And we are all guilty of this at several times in our lives. You should not be branded if once in a while you have those moments. But when you prove to be a weekly, even a daily habit, then one should think about putting in the effort to do what is right. As Andy Van Dam said to Randy Pausch, you don't want arrogance to limit what you can accomplish in life.

Yours in service,

MASTER TRENTO