Listen to the Coach!

This is Mary Ellen Stiehl. She is one of the most brilliant people I know. She has a few thousand degrees and a few more million certifications, and a plethora of priceless life experience. Maybe I exaggerated a little bit on the degrees and certifications (or am I!) but she truly is one of the most well educated people I know. But above all of that, she is a devoted mother.

Anyone and everyone can see the love she has for her son, and her son is just as devoted to his mother. He adores her and respects her so much. You can see it in the way he looks at her. He knows he has a "cool mom". He's said it himself! That's actually how I got William as a student. An adult student of mine was in Mary Ellen's college class and he recognized how much she loved her son. I remember him telling me, "Oh my GOD she loves her son sooooo much!" And he knew William would love martial arts. So he challenged Mary Ellen and said "If you really love your son, you would bring him to this martial arts school."

Well this is before we knew Mary Ellen. But I can tell you now, Mary Ellen will take any and all challenges and EXCEL! She brought William to my studio and the rest is history! I have always found Mary Ellen fascinating to talk to, and like me, we both LOVE to talk! We can talk for hours on end if we didn't keep to our schedules!

Being the devoted mother she is, Mary Ellen is extremely dedicated and involved in William's life and he loves that! Even if it's just her sitting and watching his sparring class. But many years of being an educator, Mary Ellen also has a fierce side in her as a coach. This is something that I can identify with and learn a great deal about, that prompted this blog.

Mary Ellen I know has coached swimming, I think dance and a few other things, I could be wrong. She is also a certified Taekwondo coach for the AAU for our team! But she said something to me before that I thought long and hard on. Mary Ellen told me as a coach she was excellent and got great results! Her teams would make it to the finals in tournaments, national level competition, the technique was of high quality, and then she would lean in and say in a lower tone "But I can't do any of those things myself!"

For some reason that sparked something in me and I have been pondering that. She is absolutely right and is on to something whether she realized it or not. But I think many people in our society have the notion that "do as I say not as I do" ideology leads to being hypocritical, and also when someone is teaching something but they cannot do it, people feel those coaches lack credibility. Well that is absurd! And Mary Ellen is a fine example!

Mary Ellen is a fantastic coach, and whatever the topic matter is, she can teach and coach the heck out of it like no other! But she will be the first to tell you, you won't be seeing her to high dives, cartwheels, splits, and spinning hook kicks anytime soon! But just because she cannot do it herself, does not mean she can produce high caliber students and athletes of her own. Her experience speaks for itself.

I think it was a great fear of mine to not be able to do every aspect of my martial arts training to the highest degree because of my original master. But I always said to my students about him, even if he couldn't do what he was teaching or ever use it, it didn't negate the fact that what he was teaching had incredible value. It had it's strong points of course. It motivated me to train hard, push through, and reach unbelievable heights and goals before I even turned a quarter of a century.

But even so, I think there comes a point where we have to accept that even if we cannot do something ourselves, that we could possibly coach and teach others to the highest degree. I sometimes feel that way in Olympic Taekwondo sparring. Now I know people say I don't give myself enough credit. But I remember how great I was when I was younger, and I have struggled the last couple of years. But I know I want to be able to have the skills of that higher elite level. Part of me because I feel I CAN, and part of me because I feel I HAVE to. Call me crazy. But also, in the end, I also feel I can teach and really make higher level sparrers.

I have seen it with Mary Ellen's son William, and his other blue belt cronies in class (lol). In such a short amount of time I cannot believe the amazing progress they have made. I sometimes look and go, jeez I got work to do myself! They're gonna catch up! LOL! But I am also glad I know what I am teaching is working.

I saw Monsters University with my long time friend Jessie this past week. Don't worry no real spoilers, you have seen the first one! But the monster Mike Wazowski was a Class A student and knew every theory and technique in scaring than any other monster in the entire university. He even coached a group of monsters who were thought to have NO ability to scare and turned them into fantastic scarers at the university! Even his counterpart, James Sullivan, said "Mike is the heart and soul of the team!"

There was only one problem. Mike himself was NOT scary. He could not do all the scaring to the highest degree himself. But he knew it all better than anyone else and was able to get others to that level through his coaching of others. I think people need to open their minds a little and be open to the fact that just because some people cannot do something doesn't mean they cannot be the best as teaching someone else how to do it. Don't be the jerk who say "Well YOU do it then!" or "Let's see YOU try!" or "I'd love to see them do it!" Without the coaches and teachers there's be no guidance for the greater mass of students and athletes.

As for me, I'm still stubborn, I wanna be the best in all I do in the martial arts. That's why I attracted the best mentors and best master to teach me. But I learned a long time ago that there is a difference between being THE best, and reaching YOUR best. And by pushing myself to be the best, I have found my own personal best ;) .

Yours in service,
MASTER A TRENTO