Wednesday, June 11, 2014

The Parent Coach


Each year I get more and more involved with the AAU Taekwondo. The AAU Taekwondo Program is a fantastic organization and has taken care of me for many years. In 2009 I was training on my own and looking for a way to get all my certifications and to grow my training. It was then when I met my current mentor, Master Kevin Balon, who was and still is today the New Jersey District Director of the AAU Taekwondo. I was able to receive my national and international certifications and tested for 3rd Dan Black Belt.

When I opened my school, I then got my Black Belts certified in the AAU. The following year I began bringing my students to AAU tournaments. The next year I began officiating in the AAU. The NEXT year my school and all my members became members of the AAU. So each year, little by little, I got more and more involved. This past year I officiated more than I have in a long time and am feeling more and more comfortable with it and feel I am really honing in on those skills and add new value than I had before in this new role.

But sometimes, it's not all fun and lollipops. In April, I officiated at an AAU competition. In the AAU, there is a coaching certification program for those who want to coach students at competitions. Without this certification, you cannot coach your students. Not only martial artists can get certified but parents who pass the test can also coach and become certified which can be a great help if there are many athletes competing from your school.

So I was officiating a younger age Black Belt division. According to the rules, only the coach in the chair can coach the competing athlete, no one on the outside. There is a big difference between cheering and rooting the athlete on like "Go go go!" or "You can do it!" vs coaching like "Kick to the open side on the left!" or  "Strong check then side step to the right!" BIG DIFFERENCE.

This happened where the father of one of the athletes who was in the blue coaching shirt was coaching on the side while the student already had a coach in the chair. I politely said the first time, :"Sir, only one coach please." The man nodded and turned away quietly. But then it happened again. I stopped the time and verbally warned the parent coach that only the coach in the chair can do the coaching. He nodded again. But by the third time I said it to him he began mouthing off a bit in dismay. After the round I said to the coach in the chair that the parent coach needed to restrain himself or I would have to give a warning. It's the rules! Truth be told, I probably should have given the warning after the second time.

But no need to worry because of what happened next. In Taekwondo, there is a 30 second break between rounds. When that time is up I call both competitors back up for round two. "Chung!" (Blue) or "Hung!" (Red). Well as the thirty second break was ENDING, the parent coach THEN decided to bring his son water. The time is up and the other competitor is already up, so I called a second time to the red player "HUNG!"

As the parent coach walked by he nastily said "Let the kid get a drink!" At that point, I turned to the red player and gave a half point warning. The parent coach began mouthing off. After a few seconds I once again turned to the red player and gave yet another half point deduction warning. I then turned to face the parent coach with my finger pointed up. The parent coach continued to mouth off. I shook my head and then gave a full point deduction warning to the red player. It was only after that did the parent coach get quiet. Two other mentors were there present. One was snickering and one was laughing. They couldn't believe how this parent coach could not keep his mouth shut.

I felt bad at first, not wanting to ruin the experience for the kid. But the kid had a face on that said "Yeah, dad does this." I can't understand how parents get involved to the point where they end up ruining the experience for their children. I went by the book, and I understand where rules can be lenient, but this situation was so black and white there was no avoiding it.

As an official, I felt I did my duty and made fair call. There were a few higher class officials who felt the same, and I felt I commanded the ring well. I am sure it won't be last time dealing with a difficult parent, or a difficult coach for that matter. If you're going to be involved in something, know the rules inside and out and abide by them. Make sure you know the rules, the expectations, the roles of all parties involved, and know the equipment needed. That's all half the battle. But there's another thing in martial arts that is taught and that is sportsmanship!

I believe everyone in uniform showed phenomenal sportsmanship and humility, regardless of age, and it was an excellently run tournament. I have faith in the values of tradition we teach in our students above all else that allow great events like these to be run in the first place. And I am proud to be a part of the AAU Taekwondo Program!

Yours in service,
MASTER A TRENTO

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