My Grandma Cyn

The famous Grandma Cyn

Anyone who knows me knows about a thousand Grandma Cyn stories. Grandma Cyn is very famous in my very big world with a very large entourage of people. She has this huge fan club and the funny thing is she hasn't met even an eighth of her fans! But truth be told I can really write an entire book on my Grandma Cyb. She is vivacious, full of life, exciting, fun, and oh so entertaining.

Grandma Cyn lost both her parents by the time she was thirteen years old and was pretty much raised by her older sister, my Aunt Gladys (who will be 91 this summer). Grandma Cyn married into this very big Italian family, raised her children in the Bronx and then later in North Jersey. She lived for many years with her very difficult mother in-law whom she did love very much.

I tell and retell a Grandma Cyn story just about every day. Grandma Cyn have that in common, we retell our stories as if it's the first time people have heard them. Most don't care because they make us smile and laugh. Some of the situations are very much like a zany Lucy situation. One time Italian relatives who only spoke Italian arrived at her house in the Bronx unexpectedly and she had to pick up her children. She didn't know what to do so she repeatedly throwing hewr hands in made up sign language yelled "BAMBINO! SCHOOL! BAMBINO! SCHOOL!" And everyone who has heard the story of how the relatives were hesitant to eat her spaghetti sauce when they discovered she was of Jewish background. She always exclaims "Well they had four platefuls!!"

Like me, Grandma Cyn needs landmarks. One time she rode her bicylce and she knew to make the left turn at the yellow house. Can you imagine what happened when the family painted the house blue? Or the time she drove down the road and was looking for the church with the big statue of Jesus and she got lost in traffic in the rain. She rocked back and forth nervously asking "Where are you Jesus? Where are you Jesus?" And finally exclaiming when she found the statue "HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH!"

Or the time my mother was decorating the condo in Florida and almost left her in the store after a big run in with an opposing buyer? Or the time all her grandchildren took turns riding a wheelchair in a museum because she was took proud to sit in it. Then after seeing all of us, decided it was okay and after five minutes my brother telling her to get up and that it was his turn! Or the time my grandfather tried to teach her to drive and he made her a nervous wreck. At the end he put his arm around her and gasped asking why she was soaking and she cried to him "You made me that way!!!" Or when she tried cheating on her drivers test with Grandpa asking him the answers to a few questions. He passed, she failed. There were two different tests! "But I passed with a 100 the next time!" she tells.

How about rooming with her at every family reunion for the last six years. When room service came too early and she kicked them out. I said good morning, and she said "I don't want to talk! I'm going to close my eyes and you're going to disappear!." On three I hid and when she opened her eyes I was gone and she bust out laughing. That was the same year the bird flew into our room and I said "Grandma don't turn around!" Well she did. The reaction was priceless. Aunt Karen, Grandma Cyn, and I also jumped in the kids moon bounce. Actually Aunt Karen and I jumped and Grandma just laid there enjoying the assimilated massage.

Me and Grandma Cyn this year at Christmas

If you saw every picture I have of Grandma Cyn, she has a glass in her hand. People would think she's an alcoholic or something. But that became the running joke for YEARS! So for the last eleven years, I HAD to get a picture of Grandma Cynb with a glass in her hand. I have to make a huge collage one day to compile it all. Maybe I can find someone who can help me with that.

So I can talk about Grandma Cyn all day. And no one ever gets bored of a Grandma Cyn story. And I have SOO many! But there are even more stories that are not told about her, and only her grandchildren can really appreciate them. Because they are our stories. Grandma Cyn always made us feel loved, always made us feel special. We would laugh, we would share.

One my personal moments with my brothers and cousins was in Wild Wood. Grandma Cyn was not there with us. She always sang this old song "I've got shoes! You've got shoes! All God's children's got shoes! When we get to heaven we're gonna put on those shoes and walk all over God's HEAVEN! Heaven! HEAVEN!" So on our way to the beach my brother said "I got a shovel!" My cousin goes "You got a shovel!" Then I chimed in "All God's children's have a shovel!" And then the five of us broke out in song that we were gonna shovel all over God's heaven! LOL!!!!

Of course half of my Grandma Cyn stories involve my Aunt Karen. The situations and conversations between these two women rival those between Bea Arthur and Estelle Ghetty as Dorothy and Sophia from The Golden Girls. I blogged about one that TO THIS DAY I get people emailing me about called the carousel.  Read it, you'll enjoy it.

My Grandma Cyn stories have brought a lot of happiness and joy to people, as I tell them constantly and am even asked to repeat them. But the joke is on them, because it is we, her grandchildren who get the greatest joy. We get to experience her love and laughter and she has been one of the greatest treasures of our lives. I am so grateful for my experiences and every moment I share with my Grandma Cyn. The inside jokes, the Grandma Cynisms, the repeated phrases, the retelling of old stories, the making of new stories, and it's all done with so much love.

Grandma Cyn has been a wonderful matriarch to the Trento family. Because the head matriarch leads the family with lots of love and caring. It's such a shame my brothers and cousins and I never got the chance to meet our Grandpa Fred Trento. He was a wonderful man, ahead of his time, and left us all too soon in 1982 at 56 years old. But Grandma Cyn has provided the amount of love for two grandparents over the years and exudes love. Every time I hang up the phone with her, she says I love you up to the moon! And I follow up with "I love you out of this universe!" Our love for Grandma Cyn goes beyond the scope of this world and more, and we are so blessed.

Grandma Cyn last month on Easter.

Yours in service,
MASTER A TRENTO

I Believe in You

One of my favorite movies of all time is Hook. It's the story of what happens several, several years after Peter Pan. Peter Pan actually comes to live in the real world, gets married and has children and has no recollection of his Neverland past. When visiting his wife's grandmother, Wendy (played by Dame Maggie Smith), in London, Peter's two children are kidnapped. Wendy reveals that Peter is the real Peter Pan and thinks she is crazy until Tinker Bell comes and takes him to Neverland and he has three days to remember who he is and save his children from Captain James Hook.

It is one of my favorite movies. If it is ever on television, no matter where it is I will watch it to the end. There is one part in the movie that always gets to me. At one point, Captain Hook and Peter Pan are sword fighting and Hook has Peter in a difficult predicament. Hook then says to Peter that this is all a dream and he will go back to his miserable life and lists all the negative things of his life in the real world that he has succumbed to from his absence from Neverland.

In the real world, Peter DID grow up. He lost his happy thoughts. He was a workaholic who deprived his time with his children, his wife would argue with him because of it, and he was always on his cell phone. He was also a class act worry wart. Going back to Neverland, he rediscovered his child like wonder for adventure, his inability to fear, and of course the important Peter Pan traits like how to fight, fly, and crow like a rooster.

While Hook has Peter in this difficult position, the lost boys all gather around watching and one by one just say one thing: "I believe in you." They all say "I believe in you, Peter Pan." One by one they each say it with admiration on their face, watching in awe, no doubt Peter can get out of the struggle. They believe in who he is, what he stands for, and what he can do. Then his kids each say they believe in him, and finally his best friend flys over with her pixie dust as Tinker Bell says in a whisper "I believe in you...Peter..Pan.."

One of the most uplifting feelings you can ever receive is when someone believe in you. When they say it with such conviction and admiration, it builds an energy so great inside of you. It fuels your soul that allows you to go on. It reminds you that you CAN do something. It also fuels your ability to believe in YOURSELF. Its amazing how we can be so sure of things within others, but when it comes to our own selves we stop believing. Sometimes it takes others to believe in us in order for us to begin believing in our own selves.

But one of the worst feelings in the world is not when people don't believe in you, but when people say they believe in you and then at a later time deny and reject you. That must be one of the most damaging and hurtful feelings that can actually disable you if you allow it to. The physical sensations that come with that are unreal. Especially from people who are close to you, or people you had strong connections with. What you end up wanting to do is stop believing in yourself, even if it's only a few people. You can have 100 people believe in you! But when it's your own children, your best friend, people you surround yourself with everyday, those people have a greater leverage over you with their words and feelings.

In a previous blog about 88 yr old Gladys, she says to keep on keeping on, which is one of the greatest pieces of advice of all, but also one of the most difficult ones to implement. Push through the struggle, and yes it will be a struggle, but if you have enough people believing in you, like Peter's lost boys, his children, or his best friend, it will give you enough surge of energy to push a pirate off you, and continue your sword fight. (BOWS)

Yours in service,
MASTER A TRENTO

The "Just Be" BBQ

Me, Brenda, Sifu Pedro Yee, Prof. Lisa Sargese, Samantha Volk, Dr. Nina Harkhani

Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend - or a meaningful day.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/old_friends.html#tykkx52ZoWceI21U.99

"Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend, or a meaningful day."

-Dalai Lama

Michael Gavala, Simo Magdalena Yee, me, Mike Grella, and Sifu Pedro Yee.

"It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

Me, Mr. George Valentino, Sifu Pedro Yee, Sensei Cara Parmigiani, and Prof. Lisa Sargese

"Age appears to be the best in four things: old wood best to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to trust, and old authors to read."

-Francis Bacon 

Sifu Pedro Yee, Simo Magdalena, Heather Marte, me, and Aram and Armina

"Remember the most valuable antiques are dear old friends."

-John Webster

The Friars of Old: Andrew Trento, Nina Harkhani, Kenneth Perez

"We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic cords of memory will swell when again touched as surely they will be by the better angels of our nature."

-Abraham Lincoln

 

Three of my mentors: Charlene Gallitano (fitness mentor), Mr. George Valentino (Songahm TKD mentor), Prof. Lisa Sargese (mental training mentor).

Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend - or a meaningful day.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/old_friends.html#tykkx52ZoWceI21U.99

A couple months I was talking to Sifu during one of our snow storms. I had a very difficult year, it still is a very extremely difficult year. Many drastic changes in my personal life, reinventing myself and my business as well. We were talking a little bit about them and Sifu said he wished only one thing for me and that was to JUST BE. Well that phrase stuck in my head for months.

It's been a very very very long time since I have given myself the opportunity to "just be". I have a vision, a dream almost, that I have had for years and years. It was a vision to have every single person who ever meant anything to me to be together in one single room, just having a wonderful time. Truth is, that vision will never happen. If anyone tried to plan it, they would fall short because the guest list is only in my head and my head alone, from the literally hundreds of relatives, friends, colleagues, and teachers who would be present.

But Sifu sparked an idea in my head, and I really wanted to do it. I wanted to have all the people whom I love and are dearest to me present day to be together and JUST BE. Let's get together and be together and laugh, enjoy each other's company, and live the day! I've never done this before. It would be the first time in Trento history to have the most important, heavy hitters, from all aspects of my life together at once. Most people have never met, they all know about each other but are only names of characters. Some haven't seen each other in years. But I wanted to take an opportunity to be with everyone after such a miserable year that I have had.

Across the street, dear friends and students of mine, Ara and Juneta, offered and opened their home to host this BBQ event. We worked together to have food and drinks, and set up for close to 40 people. Some cousins were invited, my brothers were invited, mentors were invited, my master and his wife were invited, my dearest friends the Friars were invited, students were invited, old school friends were invited, old CCD friends were invited, good friends of friends were present, fellow martial artists were there, and everyone's significant others were present.

Robert Lisciandrello, Samantha Volk, and Dr. Nina Harkhani

I was absolutely thrilled to have all these people together for the first time in a relaxed and comforting atmosphere. Robert has been one of my closest friends for nearly a decade. He was my first Black Belt under me ever from TMAFC, my first Black Belt coach, but also a friend who has been there for many ups and downs of my life. When I struggled to get back on my feet to train for my masters test because of events in my life, it was Robert who stepped up and helped me stay focused. His girlfriend, Samantha Volk, and one of my first students since she was six years old came back to training under me and received her 2nd Dan Black Belt under me and stepped up to the plate when others fell short a few years ago. She officiates with me at tournaments today and just graduated with her Associates Degree. I am so proud how much these two grew up.

A couple other of my very first students present were Frankie Peracchio and Storm Duke. I've known Frankie for a dozen years and he and his family have been very much a part of my family. I lived with them for a couple years, vacationed with them, and they've been present for all the major things in my life. Frankie was my first first Degree Black belt at TMAFC and got certified in Qigong with me and Lisa. Storm has presently returned to the martial arts scene, shadowing me and learning to teach again, and training with me, and also working with me on other projects. His presence again in my life has been wonderful and refreshing and it is a privilege to see the man he is becoming.

Mike Gavala started Taekwondo with me and continues to learn self-defense. He believe in what I stand for and has phenomenal qualities in business and leadership. I am extremely grateful for not only the time and work he does for me but for the amount he believes in me as a master. Mike Grella I have known since high school, even when he was a younger kid. We have worked on many projects in the past and present, but has become a real asset in my present day life and helps out at the school as much as he does in my personal affairs. I met through him Joss, who is as beautiful outside as she is inside, who helps me at the school and other projects. She believes in humanity and has a spirit that is positive and contagious. I also met Tyler who has been so enthusiastic and supportive to me and the rest of our little crew. Having him around with us has also been positive and refreshing.

Ann Marie Cooper, Charlene Galitano, Thomas Cubby, my cousin Patrick, and his girlfriend Angelina. A true picture of the vast areas of my life coming together!

I was thrilled to have family there. Both my brothers were present and I don't think they have ever spent time with some of these people who are in my life. It was great seeing them interact with some heavy hitters of my life, and my brother's girlfriend (who I absolutely love) was there to spend this wonderful day with us. My cousin Matthew and his girlfriend were there and he trains in martial arts with some people so he knows the magic we are involved in. My other cousin Patrick and his girlfriend were there and I was so happy to have him with us that day as well.

In 2008, I was a student at Montclair State University and took a World Religions class with Professor Lisa Sargese. I claimed her then as my mental training mentor as I fell in love with her enthusiasm, her energy, her intellect, and her witty and bubbly personality. Years later we not only become such great friends, sharing some very real life situations, some of my favorite moments with her are when we are learning and training together. Besides being a very important mentor, she is a dear friend who never gave up on me. A year later, another mentor gave me an opportunity when she was the general manager of a gym. Charlene gave me a home when I had no place to train, teach, and pushed the envelope as she allowed me to hone my skills in the fitness field that I have incorporated today. She is also a dear friend whose heart is as big as her loyalty. And 4th Degree George Valentino, the yin to my yang who attended with his beautiful girlfriend, brought his big smile to the BBQ. It is so wonderful knowing I have someone who loves Taekwondo and has that same passion for not only the art but for my students as well.

I began martial arts with a group of friends that went to our martial arts school every day religiously, dubbing us the name The Frairs. We are now the Friars of Old. Nina JUST graduated medical school and will be going to Baltimore for her residency and Kenny goes to the University of Rhode Island. The Friars are the friends who share the most with me, due to the deep chains of origin we endured together in the martial arts. That is a bond that spiritually connects you in a way no one can understand unless you're in it. An unofficial Friar would be Kenny's mother, Jessie, who has been one of my closest best friends for so many years. We have always been able to live life with enthusiasm, child-like wonder, and with a lot of laughter. It meant the world to have all three of them there.

Ann Marie Cooper, mentor Charlene Gallitano, Simo Magdalena Yee, mentor Prof. Lisa Sargese. One of my favorite pictures.

My brother Thomas, his girlfriend Jamie, me, and my brother Eric.

An Marie has a heart of gold. We met at another mentor's school at a Haganah seminar and again at a Qigong workshop. We continued to run into each other and after a while you just get to know someone's energy. She is sharp, beautiful, great sense of humor, and she can blend in with anyone with her pleasant personality. Sensei Cara Parmigiani became a very close friend in a very unexpected time. I admire her for her unlimited list of talents, inexhaustible adventures, and above all, her tremendous loyalty and friendship. It's amazing how we run into people in life like Ann Marie and Cara and never realize how important they can become in your life at a later time.

 It was an absolute honor and privilege to have my master, Sifu Pedro Yee, and his wife, Simo Magdalena, to be present at this momentous event. I told Sifu when I met in in 2011 that I wanted him to be my new master but not until after my 4th Degree test in Taekwondo. He watched me carefully for a year and training with Sifu has enhanced my martial arts to a degree only I have ever believed to be true in my dreams. But beyond martial arts, Sifu has taught me as any true master could how to enhance my life. He has guided me in a way on all levels to just being me, as the theme of this BBQ was: just be. Sifu knows he means the world to me and I couldn't have asked for a greater person to call my master. But to have him join and interact with some of the other important people in my life was such a treasure to see. And we had such a wonderful time together, and his wife Magdalena who is full of life brought her own ray of light to this party that I am so grateful to her for.

My pal Frankie Peracchio and I.

Sensei Cara Parmigiani, Our host Ara Grigoryan, Mr. George Valentino, and his girlfriend Sarah.

My friend Heather, from CCD in seventh and eighth grade was there! Our friend Brenda who we met through Lisa was there, and she made cookies that very morning for us! Newer friends like Daiva and Marius and Daichi were there! My student Thomas Cubby was there! My neighbors Julian and Andrew were there! It was just one big get together of so many good people. Good people with good energy, with good laugher, good company, and good love. There was nothing but love at this event, and I couldn't have been happier. It was the happiest I've been in a long time. This event was a major distraction from the bitter sweet things, or the stressful things going on in life.

But the share this day with all these people, in the words of Lisa, this was the real ALL STAR compilation of people. Everyone mixed and mingled beautifully. People who never met got to meet and talk. We ate together, we drank together. We laughed, a few of us danced. A couple even sang. Ara made a toast that was heartfelt, yet even witty, stating that with all these different first, second, fourth, and even an eighth degree Black Belt present, he never felt so safe in his life. LOL!!!!

Frankie and Sifu hugging

Nina and Ann Marie met for the first time

Twelve hours we spent together. Nothing but positive energy. Nothing but love. The love at this BBQ that was shared with everyone was phenomenal! I don't know when I will do this again. I don't know if I ever will. But this event was definitely one for the history books. To have shared this day with all these people will be something I will treasure for all time. There were literally a handful of people who should have been here at this event. But hence is life. I want to personally thank Ara and Juneta for graciously opening their home for us all, and making this get together possible. They were magnificent hosts, and I thank them for their warm hospitality and hard work to make this BBQ possible. It meant the world to me.

And thank you to all who were there. Please know how much each and every one of you mean to me. You're not just students. You're not just colleagues. You're not just Black Belts. You're not just mentors. You're not just my master. You're not just friends. You're not just acquaintances. You're not just neighbors. You're not just relatives. You are all family to me. Some of you have been with me for nearly twenty years. Some only a few months. But you're all the cream of the crop to me. I love you all so much, and thank you for sharing this day to smile. (BOWS)

Yours in service,
MASTER A TRENTO

Learn from your Art

One year ago I had a lesson with Sifu that always stuck with me. I was training for my first Kung Fu test. As I was training, one of the other students was present and we had a fantastic conversation about martial arts in general. The other student was asking me questions about Taekwondo. Taekwondo is a Korean art and is known as the "kicking art" because of it's extensive usage for kicks and leg techniques. Hung Ga Kung Fu is a southern Chinese martial arts which has a series of close range techniques vs maybe the elongated techniques in the northern Shaolin style.

So on and one we discussed these things different principles and style comparison of martial arts. In my personal opinion, I believe Hung Ga Kung Fu has such a well rounded foundation that has continually been enhanced over and over thanks to the brilliant engineering mind of Grandmaster Frank Yee, and the along with Sifu's extensive research and training.

Now I have trained in three different styles of Taekwondo, that being traditional, Olympic style along with the Taeguek and Palgwe forms, being mentored in Songahm style of Taekwondo. I also train in the Israeli martial art of Haganah, and of course I do Qigong. The opportunity to train in multiple martial arts allows you to blend the best parts of them all, and understanding that all styles and arts have the same principles, just different tactics and mechanics for achieving those principles.

However, in training in Hung Ga Kung Fu, I believe it has really enhanced my Taekwondo tremendously. My understanding, my technique, what it challenges me in, what it compliments me in, and of course I have the best master in the world teaching me as well which of course always helps. And i seriously do study my martial arts. The amount of time I practice physically, I am also in note taking, and questioning, and drilling.

My martial arts is very personal and very serious. And when I said that in my conversation with Sifu and the other kung fu student, Sifu jumped right in with agreement, saying "My Kung Fu is no joke." The level of training and seriousness that you put into every aspect of your life when it is your passion  goes beyond the sacred scope of basic understanding of people. The martial arts journey is one that cannot be truly understood unless you're in it. And when you see it enter every single aspect of your life, you know how important it really is.

But Sifu said something that was really profound, that brought together the essence of our conversation. "If you're not learning from you art every day, then something is wrong." BINGO! I learn from my art every single day, and it's always learning about myself. I am learning about life. Anyone training in the martial arts needs to always remember that every single day you should be learning from your art. Physically, my Hung Ga training, which I call doctorate level training for me, that enhances everything I do in the training. But the level of thinking it takes to you those things also is used emotionally and spiritually.

Sometimes the lessons are challenging. But my mentor, Master Balon, once said "If it doesn't challenge you, it won't change you." We are always in a state of becoming, as long as we are alive. So we are constantly growing and changing. The martial arts has been my tool to help myself and so many other people to finding that same personal, emotional, physical, and spiritual growth, and I am blessed each day to learn from my art, and help other to learn as well. (BOWS)

Yours in service,
MASTER A TRENTO

Dr. Nina Harkhani

Dr. Nina Harkhani, M.D, 1st Dan Black Belt, Friar of Old

Nina Harkhani has been one of my closest friends for fourteen years. When I was a red belt, I taught a group of white belts who ended up becoming some of my closest friends for life. Nina was one of them. It was the year 2000. I was already doing martial arts training for two years. It was the time I began volunteering much of my time to my master's dojang and learned how to teach besides put in extra hours of training in.

A year later the school began the very first and brand new Leadership Team, and a group of five of us became so close and tight and my corny self dubbed us the name The Friars, because we were members of something we went to religiously. We were all from different towns but sharing an experience together that only we understood. I spent more time with these individuals than with anyone else for five long years. Every single day for hours at a time.

In 2005, the Friars went their separate ways. A couple times a year we would have get together and such. Nina went to George Washington University in Washington D.C for four years and Nina and I every week would talk on the phone and email almost every other day. Every time we hung up, I would have tears in my eyes because I would miss her so much. When she graduated, she came back to New Jersey and began her four years of medical school. Even though she was closer, the time she spent studying and working her rotations were grueling. But she did oh so well.

Monday, I went with her, her boyfriend, and her parents to Newark for her medical school graduation. As everyone else who was there, I was so proud. I still AM proud of her. We went through very difficult times together, we had our share of fights, she had our share of laughs, we had our share of crying. We knew every which thing going on in our lives, and other than my best friend, the Friars were the ones I would talk to and share the most with. My time starting my business, and her's entering medical school. My journey to becoming a master and hers becoming a doctor.

Everything we said we would do, we did. We supported each other emotionally, and we believed in each other always. The only thing I curse medical school with was even though she geographically was nearer, the time spent even in emails became so limited. She will be doing her five years of residency in Baltimore, Maryland, and once again, geographically will be away. It makes me sad, but it makes me so happy as well. She did it. She is a doctor. She is making it happen, and she knows I am her biggest fan.

Besides being an absolutely brilliant mind, she is very down to earth, very genuine, and very forward. All qualities I respect and love. She does not bullsh*t with you and tells you how it is. She's never afraid of speaking her mind, right or wrong, never afraid to put herself in a situation that is uncomfortable or fearsome, because she knows the experience will bring her to where she needs to be and grow. We had a beautiful conversation that most of that came from her martial arts training. Some of my students came from my old school but none of them trained directly under my original master like Nina and I. It's nice to have someone share and understand those origins of experience.

Nina, congratulations to you. You deserve every accolade. You will be a success no matter what, and your direction is so clear. May your spirit soar in this next chapter of your life, and thank you for allowing me to experience this wonderful event, as well as as the long lasting friendship we share together, no strings attached. I bow to YOU Doctor! (BOWS)

Yours in service,
MASTER A TRENTO

A Legend Retires

Since I was very young, I would study great pioneers in our history and culture. Most people who know me know that I love the study greats such as Benjamin Franklin, Ronald Reagan, P.L Travers, Celine Dion, Michael Jackson, Lucille Ball, and Walt Disney, to name a few. Not just follow their work, but really study the lives and work ethic of these people. One of those people is Barbara Walters. I always knew who she was, but just never realized when I was real young, exactly who this person was.

I remember seeing a few episodes of The View on television, I remember her interviewing Michael J. Fox when I was in the fourth grade when he was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease, I remember watching her interview that same year interview Christopher Reeves after his horseback accident, and when I was on vacation in Massachusetts my family and I watched her interview with Monica Lewinsky, which is up to today the MOST famous interview in journalism HISTORY.

In my freshman year I was put into a Journalism class, and became a very serious and talented journalist. But the true inspiration was after watching a video of A&E's Biography on Barbara Walters. How I identified with her work ethic, and the nerve she had to ask questions and do things that NO ONE ever had done before, and of course being a woman pioneer as well. Since then I watched EVERY single Barbara Walters interview and special, I even recorded many of them, and watched them continuously.

I am a trained counselor, and in my style of counseling, I use the form of questioning just like Barbara Walters. She was also known as doing tremendous and thorough amount of homework and research, which I identify with in my own work, especially in my  martial arts training. There is no doubt that in the business, Barbara Walters is THE BEST.

The above video shows Barbara Walters on her show that she created, The View which she announced that she would be retiring from appearing on television at all. The week of May 12-16 was her final week on television. I have been watching her for so many years, I cannot believe she will no longer be on ABC. She had great friends like Martin Short, Bette Midler, Michael Douglas, and Hillary Clinton all came to honor this pioneer.

Thursday, May 15, for the first time in television history, every single co-host from The View was on the show together. The show originated 17 years, most talk shows today are just re-creations of The View itself. The show originated with Joy Behar, Lisa Ling, Meredith Vierra, Star Jones, and Debbie Matenopolous. After several years other co-hosts joined the View such as Elizabeth Hasselback, Rosie O'Donnell, Sherri Sherpherd, Whoopie Goldberg, and recently Jenny McCarthy. Barbara looked like Jesus at the last supper, as noted by Joy Behar.

To see all of the co-hosts on at the same time was very cool for me. I love huge reunions, and these women have such great history with the show but we the audience have NEVER seen them all together. The how itself has had plenty of controversy and conflict, but none of that ever tainted her relationships with the ladies and it was such a treat and beautiful event to see them ALL together for the end of Barbara's career.

ALL eleven co-hosts EVER together on The View for the first time in television history on May 15, 2014: Whoopie Goldberg, Meredith Vierra, Star Jones, Debbie Matenopolous, Joy Behar, Barbara Walters, Lisa Ling, Elizabeth Hasselback, Rosie O'Donnell, Jenny McCarthy, and Sherri Shepherd.

One the final day, May 16, 2014, Hillary Clinton and Michael Douglas were on the show. There was also a clip from the special that was played that night about Barbara's career which I think I knew every single detail of the special. But one of my favorite moments, and I just KNEW this would happen on the last day, was when Oprah Winfrey surprised Barbara by coming onto the show.

I LOVE stories when people are inspired by certain role models and end up actually meeting and working with their idols and even receiving mentor ship by them. Just like Carol Burnett and Lucille Ball, Kelly Clarkson and Reba, Nicole Kidman and Meryl Streep, Celine Dion and Barbara Streisand, Usher and Michael Jackson, etc. Well the story of Oprah and Barbara Walters is one of my favorites as well as I tell it very often.

Oprah wanted to be on television because of Barbara Walters. When asked at 13 years old for a contest who she wanted to be like, Oprah's answer was "Barbara Walters." When Oprah first interviewed for jobs, she would imitate Barbara Walters for all of her interviews for several years before finally being herself. SHe ended being interviewed by her idol on day, and she even presented the Television Lifetime Achievement award to her own mentor. When Barbara Walters stepped down as anchor of 20/20 after 25 years, it was Oprah who got the interview with Barbara. So it only seemed fitting that Oprah would be there for the sending off of her career as well.

"If there wasn't a Barbara Walters, there would never have been a me in television."-Oprah Winfrey, 2006; Oprah on The View for Barbara's last day.

Oprah told Barbara how she meant the world to her and thanked her for the the pioneer she was. She also thanked her for paving the way for women in television history in journalism. And then, one of the most touching things in television history. Oprah introduced every single major woman anchor of a network news program one by one. Everyone from Diane Sawyer, Robin Roberts, Kathy Lee Gifford, Elizabeth Vargas, Katie Couric, Gayle King, Connie Chung, There must have been over 20 of these women who came out and lined up to hug and thank the journalism legend.

What a fantastic moment! "We all stand on your shoulders, Barbara Walters," said Oprah. One of the women you could hear saying to Barbara, "You paved the way for us. You are one of a kind." Barbara with tears in her eyes said "This is my legacy!"

Barbara Walters taught me how to ask the right questions, for the answer is not important unless you ask the right question. She taught me how to get to the core issue. She taught me to be proud of your work and share it, as she always plugged her specials and interviews. Why work hard if you don't share it with everybody!? And she taught me to work hard and to persevere even when you feel like you're failing. 

Of course I cried watching this. I have known her story and related much to it. I felt her story, I understood her work ethic, and I was sentimental myself because of what this woman has meant to me. I followed her most of my life, as I have been influenced by her very much in my career in business and teaching as well. I remember the times of my life when watching her. I know some people love singers and movie stars, but for me, Barbara Walters was my movie star. And I thank Barbara for all she has done and what she has done for me. And I look forward to expressing that when we meet. (BOWS)

Yours in service,
MASTER A TRENTO

Keep On Keeping On

One day I was rummaging through my Facebook page and I saw a video of Ellen DeGeneres and she makes me laugh all the time. I also love what she does for people through laughter, just like my friend Mary. So I watched the video and I had no clue what to expect and it made me laugh and feel warm inside at the same time.

Ellen had this segment on her show where people would call in and leave messages with advice and encouragement and answers to questions Ellen would pose. She got one message that stood out and played it for everyone. It was an 88 year old woman from Austin, Texas named Gladys. She called in to tell her to move a spiky plant that made her look like Alfalfa. So Ellen thought it would be a great laugh to call her back. But little did she know it was going to be Gladys with all the laughs.

This woman was thrilled to hear Ellen on the other side of the phone and she had Ellen and the audience cracking up from beginning to end. She went right on rambling with a few stories. The best quote from her that got the longest gut laugh was this:

At the end of the video, which you can find at the bottom, she then has a serious moment where she thanks Ellen for all she does and is happy even to have a little part of it, bringing happiness to everyone. I must have seen almost every video where Ellen calls Gladys or Gladys calls in and it makes me smile and laugh and very happy. But at the end of each phone call she has with Ellen, she says this: Keep on Keeping on!

Without fail, Gladys says just keep on keeping on. And that goes for all of us. No matter what, life goes on, so we must find a way to keep on keeping on with it. How often do we have moments where we just want to call it quits. It's hard to remind ourselves to pick ourselves up on keep on moving. But Gladys, at 88 years old (must be older by now) keeps reminding us to keep on keeping on! So I have been saying it to others so I keep hearing it myself, so I can do it myself as well. Keep on keeping on! Keep on keeping on! Keep on Keeping on! (BOWS)

Yours in service,
MASTER A TRENTO

 WATCH THE WHOLE THING, YOU'LL LOVE IT!

 

A C.A.R.E-full Weekend

Last summer I went to Appalachin, NY to do an Intensive weekend to learn the Raindrop and Vitaflex using Young Living Essential Oils. This weekend course was sponsored by the Center of Aromatherapy Research and Education (CARE) and taught by two certified CARE Instructors who happened to be husband and wife. They were Mer and Joanna Barrrett.

I had a gruesome month of events leading up before this pilgrimage. On the three hour drive there, I did have my own epiphany to what some of the things I can do for the far future from some of the experiences I was having. I remember wanting to share it with my best friend, but he didn't want to hear about it, and it was upsetting to me. The time then was very confusing and hurtful so this weekend was a weekend of learning and at first was just a big distraction for myself.

I went alone. I don't mind going on trips and excursions by myself as I can enjoy an experience alone just as much as if I had someone with me. But sometimes we are meant to stand alone for an experience that awaits us for a greater purpose, especially when we don't know what that purpose is. I loved Mer and Joanna. They were a great team and so very knowledgeable about their craft and run a very successful center with phenomenal results. But when they two of them were doing something together it was like watching a good vaudeville act!

At one point the married couple had a small disagreement about something and one of them said to the other "It's okay you have the right to be wrong." That struck me so funny. Joanna, like myself, is not the greatest with technology and one time she was having computer problems. She would call "MER!" And he would come over and fix the problem. Then a second time. "MER!" He would fix it again. Then a third. A fourth. By the fifth time Mer called out to Joanna and she heard "Joanna, you need peace and blessings!" Joanna gasped in relief, "Oh my goodness, Yes! I would love some peace and blessings! Thank youy!" And Mer cracked up and said "NO! I said PC LESSONS!" That good a good laugh too.

The weekend was full of SEVERAL courses. The first was Healing Oils of the Bible taught by Joanna which really set a great slate for the rest of the weekends. Mer taught a Chemistry class, which I was not enthused to do, but he made it very interesting, and who knew that I would end up buying a Chemistry book for anything! We also learned not only historical origin background but hands on practice of the Vitaflex techniques and the Raindrop technique.

The Raindrop technique is a mixture of massage and Vitaflex that detoxes the body, reduces inflammation in the body, boosts the immune system of the body, realigns the spine without manipulating it in any way, and balances the energy centers of the body. The use of certain Young Living Essential Oils (BY THE WAY Young Living is a completely separate company from CARE and CARE will ONLY use Young Living oils as they are the ONLY pure grade essential oils in the continent!) and particular methods such as feather stroking along the back, etc, have a great result.

People I have worked on have gotten over colds they had for weeks at a time, allergies that were bothering them, of infections their body had and couldn't shake off. SO yes, the essential oils have amazing properties and results in themselves, and combined in the right way only intensifies the results in a positive manner. But besides the Bible Oils Class, the Chemistry class, the Vitaflex class, and the Raindrop class, the final class was very intense in itself.

Emotional Releasing can be tricky business. You have to be very honest with yourself. You have to learn the opposites sides of an emotion in order to transform it. And remember, emotions can affect our organs and our bodies and be trapped in places that cause great ailments, as says with Chinese medicine. Like I said, I was very depressed at this time, and a day or two earlier I privately went to Joanna asking her if she could give me something from her oils case that could help me because I was getting very boo hooey and was developing great anxiety. The first thing she did was give me a hug which is probably the best medicine in itself (HUGS= Helping Us Grow Spiritually).

I never verbalized it, but I believe spiritually I connected to Joanna to let her n know if she did an Emotional Release demonstration, I wanted to be the one to be demonstrated on. I knew I needed it. I wanted it. I was afraid. But I had to face it. The core issues at hand were being abandoned and left behind. I layed on the table and she scanned me, the same way we do in Qigong therapy. Right away I knew she could feel energy. I was even more impressed when she told me to put purification oil on my liver. Purification oil is for the emotion anger, the oppositie emotion of anger is laughter, and anger affects the Liver, just as in Chinese medicine. I was sold.

She intuitively used certain oils in different places. I felt energetically charged, but then before I knew  it, it caught me so off guard I was in shock: I began to cry hysterically. It was a very hard, painful, agonizing cry. I could not believe what was happening. I didn't care there was a whole class watching this, I needed it. Joanna gave me prayers and affirmations and had me throw a lot of it off my chest. It was a lot. It took a while. but it was amazing as I did what she said, I began to calm down. The release was unbelievable.

I have had people have emotional releases when working on them with either raindrop or qigong. But I have never done an emotional release session like I went through. And it couldn't have happened at a more needed time for me. I share this because I believe people can benefit from this kind of experience and release the inner emotions that burden us, and we can be taught to change emotions into their opposites if we just understand the opposites.

We can store our emotions and hold them because it's all we know. What would happen if we let them go? Would we actually be happy? Would we actually live life better? Would we actually like our perpetrators from our lives? Would we actually see opportunity over struggle? I need another Emotional Release like that one I had. I don't want to hold on anymore. I never used to and don't want to anymore. I want you to do the same. So I will do it too. Let's do it together. Let's take CARE of ourselves. (BOWS)

Yours in service,
MASTER A TRENTO

Feelings False About our Stories

You know there is a lot of studies correlating one's feelings and one's thoughts. When I learned the law of attraction in my teens, I learned how we have 60,000 thoughts a day, and there'd be no way to know exactly each thought we have. As human beings we have the power to think. We are always thinking, therefore the law of attraction is always in action.

But to know every single thought we have is absurd, but we can tell if we have good thoughts or bad thoughts because of how we FEEL. Our feelings serve as a feedback mechanism and tell us if we are having good thoughts or bad thoughts and we know the difference because one makes us feel good and one makes us feel bad. But it is US and us only that can control those thoughts. So our thoughts create our feelings.

In one of my favorite movie clips from The Iron Lady, Meryl Streep as Margaret Thatcher says "Watch your thoughts for they become your words. Watch your words for they become your actions. Your action become your habits, your habits become your character, and your character becomes our destiny! We become our thoughts!" This is the truest and greatest way to explain the law of attraction. She says this as a rant that too many people worry about feelings and lose attention on thoughts and ideas.

In the last couple of years I have experienced and observed many instances where my friends or myself or people I worked with will feel a certain way about a situation and our behavior that followed would be out of our interpretation of those feelings.The scary thing is that 70 percent of the time we are absolutely completely wrong. Whatever the circumstances are making us feel is NOT what is happening. It is only the sotiy we make about the situation in our own minds. We need to be careful of our choices that follow, for they can be irrational.

It makes us judgmental. It makes us just mental. We torture ourselves because we think people are acting in a certain way because of some story we make out of it, or a reference point of a past event that was the case to what we experienced before. But we cannot allow the stories we create in our minds be our destiny if they do not serve us in  a positive way. Now i am not saying this is ALWAYS the case. Sometimes our instincts are right on the money. But we have to have a higher level of awareness in our thinking that will allow us to evaluate a better judgement call on our parts.

I remember once a mutual friend I had through someone else was going on and on for over a year about how a certain person was behaving even after this letter she wrote to this person and every action and decision this person made, she would go on rant because she felt she absolutely knew what his passive aggressive behavior was toward her. In the end, the truth was this person NEVER read the letter, so for over a year, all the actions and behaviors were wrong!

I am ashamed at how many times I began doing this the last couple of years myself. I put a lot of effort when I have a feeling that causes a sinking feeling in my stomach to NOT act out of it unless I 100% for sure KNOW. Sometimes I could be 100% right but I will d omy best to STILL not respond or act or behave in any which way where my judgement can be false due to my own subjective view. I say to many of my friends when we get into those siotuations "But we DON'T KNOW". Yeah we may be right, but in the end WE DON'T KNOW.

So for all reading this, let's work together on this. I promise I won't act or behave out of any stories my stupid hypothalamus makes up for me if you don't! We will all be a lot happier that way! Let's make stories up in our minds of how everything is going right for us, and everyone is out to help us and miracles come our way all the time! Let's make THAT our experience! Not how people are out to get you, being passive aggressive, or trying to hurt us! I like miracle minds better! (BOWS)

Yours in service,
MASTER A TRENTO

The Crying Scene

One of the funniest scenes from a movie ever is the 3 minute long crying scene by Diane Keaton in the movie Something's Gotta Give where she co-stars with Jack Nicholson. Diane Keaton is a brilliant and well known play-writer who is very sure of herself and very matter-of-fact about life. Jack Nicholson plays a playboy older gentleman with several recording businesses and dates the younger ladies. These two totally opposites end up falling in love like never before, and as any movie circumstances make them drift apart and you hopefully see them magically come together in a Hollywood fashion.

The crying scene is obviously between the two and the heartbroken Diane Keaton. I have had a long period of my life where this hilarious scene has been my sad reality. No exaggeration. The part where as soon as she wakes up from what looks like a restful sleep and bursts into tears (which is very funny in the clip and movie) is something I had done many times before, and those times weren't funny at all.

One point in the movie she said "Yeah its my new thing." I remember saying that it was a new hobby of mine at the time too. Three times in my life I had a period of time like this. Those times when people experience times like these can be devastating. The stress, the anxiety, the depression, it all sucks so bad. Some people aren't able to function at all. Some people function, but not well at all. And some people begin to function and go about being busy, and the second that busy ends, they return to that point where there is no where else to go.

There is a difference between going forward, and moving on. Some people go forward. You know the saying "Going forward...blah blah blah." And the people just MOVE ON. It's hurtful to be stuck, especially when you rigorously struggle and fight. Remember Stress produces cortisol and adrenaline that affects your body in numerous ways. Don't be ashamed to let it all out. Express your feelings. A good cry can be good. Even if it's for months, for a year, for the duration of writing a play, or a book, or building a house. Do what you gotta do. (BOWS)

Yours in service,
MASTER A TRENTO

Laughing with Mary

My brother Thomas, our dear friend Mary, and me in 2006.

This is my dear friend Mary Scrittorale. Mary is a friend of my Aunt Lisa. They have been friends for thirty plus years. But Mary is more than a dear friend to my family. Mary is family to us. My cousins Patrick, Kaitlyn, and Samantha refer to her as "Aunt" Mary, but Mary wasn't just the adopted aunt to my Aunt Lisa's kids, she was the adopted aunt to us all!

If there is one thing you must know about Mary it is this: Mary equals laughter. When you are with Mary, you do nothing but laugh and laugh, and then when you're done laughing, you laugh some more. I grew up with this lady at every family party or get together, and when I would sit with her, we would do nothing but laugh. Her laugh is very contagious as well. It begins as a high pitch scream into a cackling HAHAHA! A sound that is treasured by my entire family.

One time, I was probably 6 years old, I was making pretend newspapers as I was playing on the porch. She was over my house with my Aunt Lisa, my mother must have had made dinner for everyone, and I brought it out to show her. She made it seem to me, at 6 years old, that it was the greatest thing ever and she gave me a dollar for it! At six years old, I thought it was the most thrilling thing that someone thought my newspaper, with folded printer paper and silly pen drawings, kept together at the folded seams with scotch tape was worthy of a dollar! At six years old, I was rich!

When I was 10-11 years old, I would sit next to her at family get togethers and we would exchange jokes. She would laugh hysterically! This became a tradition that I seriously prepared and researched a bunch of new jokes to bring to her when I would see her next! Her favorite one I told that I would get that cackling laugh was : "Why did the elephant cross the road?" "It wasn't to get to the other side like the damn chicken?" "No! Chicken had the day off!" And she bust into that laugh of hers!

Mary also had us laughing with stories about her children, or her husband, or her other family members. But many had to do with my crazy Aunt Lisa also. Aunt Lisa you could say was Lucy, and Mary was Ethel! One story she always told was when her nephew looked at her and she said "HEY! Pastafasoul!" And her nephew would cry and say through tears "I'm not a Pastafasoul!!" And she would crack up! "He didn't know it was macaroni! He thought I was calling him a bad name!" That became our trademark expression. "AH, PASTAFASOUL!"

Mary and I at my cousin Kaitlyn's Communion.

Mary is always full of life! A couple of years ago, Mary came down with dementia. They had to sell her house, and she moved down to Florida to live with her son. We miss Mary up here in New Jersey. But she is doing well. I called her on Christmas Day this year but she didn't know who I was. "I'm Lisa's nephew!" "Ohhhh, my Lisa! I love my Lisa!" It's okay. It didn't bother me that she didn't know who I was over the phone, because the spirit and personality was not tainted in the slightest. She was bubbly, cracking jokes, and still was full of life.

Last year in July, when I was in Florida for the nationals, Lisa, Andrew, and my mother were at my parents condo. Mary and her son came to visit us. That night sitting at our dining room table was one of the most treasured memories I will have with Mary. When she saw me she screamed into that laugh and we talked and laughed some more on the couch! She told the Pastafasoul story again! She and I looked out of the balcony at the beautiful view and she spoke something in Italian. I said to her "That's beautiful! What does it mean?" She answered "A pound of salt." We bust out laughing so hard our stomachs hurt.

She was animated and telling stories, just making us laugh all night. I was so happy Andrew and Lisa were there to meet this very special person from our lives. Mary began telling stories from when she was younger and growing up very poor, but my mother made a comment to Mary saying "But you know Mary, even through all those times in your life, it seemed you would do nothing but laugh." Mary acknowledged yes they had nothing, but to laugh was a lot of something, and there was no reason not to. And that's something Mary has always represented in our lives, finding the laughter in life no matter what. Then, the most profound thing came out of her mouth that night:

"It doesn't take money to make you laugh, it takes money to make you cry."

-Mary Scrittorale, age 86

I know for some of us at that table, it was something said that stays close to our hearts and minds. She is absolutely right. I want to share this wisdom from Mary to everyone. Mary taught me and my family to always laugh. Our best memories are with Mary because her laughter and ability to make us laugh was contagious. You can't allow the struggles of the world, many that have to do with money, ever bring you down and have you stop laughing.

I have always said, and sometimes have to be reminded myself, as long as you can step out of yourself and find something to laugh about, you know you're going to be okay. I want to tell all my friends in business, or people I have business relationships with, this very advice. In Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol, Scrooge said to the ghost of Jacob Marley "But you were always a good man of business." And Marley's ghost explodes "BUSINESS?! MANKIND WAS MY BUSINESS!"

I think Mary contributed greatly to the business of mankind with her laughter. And we should always put that value before anything else in life. Our business is to share the good things in this world, and we can offer that through keeping each other happy and healthy through the power of laughter. It is a service that goes beyond all selfish needs, such as money. Because it doesn't take money to laugh, it takes money to make you cry. 

Before Mary left that night, she was fighting with her son to stay. But even at 86 years old, Mary was doing prat falls. She let herself fall back with no warning right onto the couch behind her and cackling into that laugh of hers. Mary is a beautiful soul, and her spirit can never be tainted. This August Mary will be turning 87 and is still full of life and energy. I love Mary and will be visiting her this summer. But I thank her for her laughter which I treasure so much and am so grateful for those words of wisdom. And I hope her advice can touch you all who read this, and may your laughter be as contagious as hers! (BOWS)

Mary and I doing what we did best: Laughing.

Yours in service,

MASTER A TRENTO