Laughing with Mary

My brother Thomas, our dear friend Mary, and me in 2006.

This is my dear friend Mary Scrittorale. Mary is a friend of my Aunt Lisa. They have been friends for thirty plus years. But Mary is more than a dear friend to my family. Mary is family to us. My cousins Patrick, Kaitlyn, and Samantha refer to her as "Aunt" Mary, but Mary wasn't just the adopted aunt to my Aunt Lisa's kids, she was the adopted aunt to us all!

If there is one thing you must know about Mary it is this: Mary equals laughter. When you are with Mary, you do nothing but laugh and laugh, and then when you're done laughing, you laugh some more. I grew up with this lady at every family party or get together, and when I would sit with her, we would do nothing but laugh. Her laugh is very contagious as well. It begins as a high pitch scream into a cackling HAHAHA! A sound that is treasured by my entire family.

One time, I was probably 6 years old, I was making pretend newspapers as I was playing on the porch. She was over my house with my Aunt Lisa, my mother must have had made dinner for everyone, and I brought it out to show her. She made it seem to me, at 6 years old, that it was the greatest thing ever and she gave me a dollar for it! At six years old, I thought it was the most thrilling thing that someone thought my newspaper, with folded printer paper and silly pen drawings, kept together at the folded seams with scotch tape was worthy of a dollar! At six years old, I was rich!

When I was 10-11 years old, I would sit next to her at family get togethers and we would exchange jokes. She would laugh hysterically! This became a tradition that I seriously prepared and researched a bunch of new jokes to bring to her when I would see her next! Her favorite one I told that I would get that cackling laugh was : "Why did the elephant cross the road?" "It wasn't to get to the other side like the damn chicken?" "No! Chicken had the day off!" And she bust into that laugh of hers!

Mary also had us laughing with stories about her children, or her husband, or her other family members. But many had to do with my crazy Aunt Lisa also. Aunt Lisa you could say was Lucy, and Mary was Ethel! One story she always told was when her nephew looked at her and she said "HEY! Pastafasoul!" And her nephew would cry and say through tears "I'm not a Pastafasoul!!" And she would crack up! "He didn't know it was macaroni! He thought I was calling him a bad name!" That became our trademark expression. "AH, PASTAFASOUL!"

Mary and I at my cousin Kaitlyn's Communion.

Mary is always full of life! A couple of years ago, Mary came down with dementia. They had to sell her house, and she moved down to Florida to live with her son. We miss Mary up here in New Jersey. But she is doing well. I called her on Christmas Day this year but she didn't know who I was. "I'm Lisa's nephew!" "Ohhhh, my Lisa! I love my Lisa!" It's okay. It didn't bother me that she didn't know who I was over the phone, because the spirit and personality was not tainted in the slightest. She was bubbly, cracking jokes, and still was full of life.

Last year in July, when I was in Florida for the nationals, Lisa, Andrew, and my mother were at my parents condo. Mary and her son came to visit us. That night sitting at our dining room table was one of the most treasured memories I will have with Mary. When she saw me she screamed into that laugh and we talked and laughed some more on the couch! She told the Pastafasoul story again! She and I looked out of the balcony at the beautiful view and she spoke something in Italian. I said to her "That's beautiful! What does it mean?" She answered "A pound of salt." We bust out laughing so hard our stomachs hurt.

She was animated and telling stories, just making us laugh all night. I was so happy Andrew and Lisa were there to meet this very special person from our lives. Mary began telling stories from when she was younger and growing up very poor, but my mother made a comment to Mary saying "But you know Mary, even through all those times in your life, it seemed you would do nothing but laugh." Mary acknowledged yes they had nothing, but to laugh was a lot of something, and there was no reason not to. And that's something Mary has always represented in our lives, finding the laughter in life no matter what. Then, the most profound thing came out of her mouth that night:

"It doesn't take money to make you laugh, it takes money to make you cry."

-Mary Scrittorale, age 86

I know for some of us at that table, it was something said that stays close to our hearts and minds. She is absolutely right. I want to share this wisdom from Mary to everyone. Mary taught me and my family to always laugh. Our best memories are with Mary because her laughter and ability to make us laugh was contagious. You can't allow the struggles of the world, many that have to do with money, ever bring you down and have you stop laughing.

I have always said, and sometimes have to be reminded myself, as long as you can step out of yourself and find something to laugh about, you know you're going to be okay. I want to tell all my friends in business, or people I have business relationships with, this very advice. In Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol, Scrooge said to the ghost of Jacob Marley "But you were always a good man of business." And Marley's ghost explodes "BUSINESS?! MANKIND WAS MY BUSINESS!"

I think Mary contributed greatly to the business of mankind with her laughter. And we should always put that value before anything else in life. Our business is to share the good things in this world, and we can offer that through keeping each other happy and healthy through the power of laughter. It is a service that goes beyond all selfish needs, such as money. Because it doesn't take money to laugh, it takes money to make you cry. 

Before Mary left that night, she was fighting with her son to stay. But even at 86 years old, Mary was doing prat falls. She let herself fall back with no warning right onto the couch behind her and cackling into that laugh of hers. Mary is a beautiful soul, and her spirit can never be tainted. This August Mary will be turning 87 and is still full of life and energy. I love Mary and will be visiting her this summer. But I thank her for her laughter which I treasure so much and am so grateful for those words of wisdom. And I hope her advice can touch you all who read this, and may your laughter be as contagious as hers! (BOWS)

Mary and I doing what we did best: Laughing.

Yours in service,

MASTER A TRENTO