Echos of the Future

Bethany Disanno, Taylor Disanno, and Mia Giordano. The "Trento's Angels".

I have three student's that I call "Charlie's Angels", or better known as "Trento's Angels." Mia Giordano began training as a Little Ninja when she was three or four years old many years ago, when Kristin Barrett and I apprenticed under our old master. She made it up to green belt and stopped training when she was six or seven. When I began my own school, within one month, Mia came to the school with her mom and signed right up to pick up where she left off with me.

Bethany and Taylor Disanno are fraternal twins. I began teaching them when I was a senior instructor at my old master's school. I trained them up to high green belts and then when I parted ways with my old master, they left the school and continued training under me privately out of their own home, their backyard, their aunt's basement, and their grandparent's backyard until I opened my own school. Actually, their low blue belt test was the first belt test I did when I opened my own school.

Bethany and Taylor were the first belt test at TMAFC when it opened.

These three girls became such very close friends. As I have always seen in martial arts, they have found friends for life with each other. Not only are they great friends, but they are wonderful training partners. They encourage each other, they motivate each other, they help each other, they communicate with each other, they make goals together, they compete together, and they push each other. The energy between them is fantastic, and may even rival the connection the Friars of Old had.

The three of them made a goal together: to get their Black Belts together. They are all 13 years old, which is the age for the six day adult Black Belt test. Bethany and Taylor actually waited extra time so Mia can catch up in rank so they can take this test together. I have made mention of it many times in the test but to experience a Black Belt test with other people is such an amazing experience and a very special thing to share. Everyone single person I have ever tested with, I have a strong spiritual bond with.

Last Friday was their last color belt test together. I had made this an advance test with just the three of them, to give them a small taste of what their future test would be like together. As their master, I am so proud of their attitude and energy. Bethany always pushes on, and if she is struggling, she will whimper a little bit, but her outward effort always trumps the nerves. Taylor for as long as I have known her "freaks out" but this particular test I feel she really had her game face on like she never had before. She took control, and out of no where was showing skill and effort like never before. Mia is a powerhouse and the cheerleader of the group, who's energy is not only helpful but contagious. The three are a perfect balance together.

The "Angels" at their last color belt test.

They started with 500 jumping jacks, counting loud on each one. Then 15 minutes of speed and agility drills. They encouraged each other, woo-hoo-ed and ha-ed, they cheered each other, they pushed each other. When the 15 minutes were up, they had to do another 500, jumping jacks. They had to count loud, and before I knew it the audience began to count with them, they clapped on each jack, they got into it just as much as the Angels. I took a step back to take it all in. I was witnessing echos of the future. This was a sample of the awesome energy I would be witnessing at their Black Belt test in May of 2013.

I had a flashback on my 2nd Degree Black Belt test when me and my two fellow candidates had to hop on one leg for five minutes. We began to hop together, synchronized our energy, and clapped on each hop, and before we knew it, the audience was participating as well. The synergy was amazing! I knew these three girls will have what it takes to do the same on their test. It's going to be an amazing experience.

We followed the guidelines of the AAU Taekwondo and did all their forms first. They have 10-11 forms to perform full speed full power, and in great detail. I was on them like a hawk. I didn't care how tired they were, they were to still push themselves, be loud, and show proper technique. Next came the general knowledge where they recited Korean history and then performed all their basic blocks, kicks, and kicking combinations. Their bodies were beginning to fail them, but this was the crucial point to see how they'd push on and take control of their bodies.

Bethany, Mia, and Taylor at the AAU NJ State Championships.

They next had to put their full gear on and do several rounds of 2 minutes sparring matches. They all learned Olympic Taekwondo, and both Mia and Bethany have competed in Olympic style sparring. They had to show endurance, strategy, speed and agility, footwork, and skill. After about four or five matches each, they took their gear off and we moved onto self-defense. They showed all their low level escapes, and their high level self-defenses. Then they finished off with their current level breaking techniques.

The test was two hours long. The three did phenomenally. I was proud of their persistence. I was proud of their attitude. I am proud of how far they have come and how much they have grown. Not physically but emotionally and spiritually as young women. May 2013 will be a Black Belt test to remember. I can feel it. Congratulations to the "Angels" and keep up the determination.

Yours in service,
MASTER TRENTO

Judging for the Mentor

Recently, my mentor Master Samuel DeJesus held a Black Belt test at his school in Rockaway, NJ. He had asked me to guest judge on the panel for the test. I was honored. He told me that there were six candidates testing, one of them being his mother! I knew it would be a very special test for him, although every test is, this one would hold a little more importance to him. I was more than happy, and quite excited to participate.

I told my Black Belts in class one day I was going to be judging the night before and they all looked at me and exclaimed "We want to go!" I was like "Oh! Um..ok!" And before I knew it we were a van full of Black Belts off to Master DeJesus's school for a Black Belt test! My other mentor, Professor Lisa Sargese, also came to take pictures and support the test. She goes every Thursday to do Qigong with Qi master, and Kung Fu as well, Sal Canzonieri who did a demonstration during the test.

I was on the panel with three other judges, apart from Master DeJesus. One was Sensei Cara Parmigiani who trains in I believe Juijitsu with Master DeJesus. She did an awesome demonstration during the test as well and I learned is in law school! Master Joe Nilon is Master DeJesus's Hapkido instructor who also brought a great element to the table. You can feel great strength and power from Master Nilon but was as friendly as ever when you interact with him. And there was also Sifu Dave Ferreira who I got along with excellently. We were very much on the same page on a lot of things and had similar views on the things we wanted to bring to the test for our candidates. 

From Left to right: Master Joe Nilon, Sensei Cara Parmigiani, Sifu Dave Ferreira (standing), Master Samuel DeJesus, and me.

My Black Belt crew got along wonderfully with the other students from Master DeJesus's school, and everyone worked excellently with each other throughout the test. The students had to show all their basic strikes and blocks, their kicks and combinations, they did required self-defenses, they performed their own self-defense routines, they did all of their Taeguek forms, they had to do several rounds of sparring, and had to do breaking at the end as well.  The test began at 11:00AM and did not end until 7:00PM. It was a long, tough test. But each one of the candidates really showed great strength and perseverance. Not to mention great endurance to do all they did in that allotted amount of time! OH! And in between everything, they did several rounds of conditioning where they did 50 push ups, 75 sit ups, 100 jumping jacks, and 50 squat jumps. 

Jenna was an eleven year old girl who was just so happy to be taking her test. She smiled and pushed on despite the struggle. She struggled on one of her board breaks but she never gave up. She overcame her fear of breaking that board and when she did it she had a great big smile on her face. Jenna showed great attitude. Sabrina is a young lady who has a great deal of potential. She pushed on through each task but as I kept watching her, after so many years of doing this you can see when a student is doing well and there are some underlying capabilities. I wish I could be there for the "OH!" moment she will have one day when she realizes what she can do. It's going to be fun for Master DeJesus.

Young Samuel was the youngest boy testing for his 1st Degree Black Belt. Sam showed in his face the pain he was enduring, the struggle he was going through, it looked like he was going to break down and say he wanted to give up. But you know what? He didn't! Sam brought me to tears as I watched him, because he really pushed himself beyond his limits. I knew he wanted to stop but never did he complain once, never did he stop, and never did he lose his determination. And that's what makes a Black Belt a Black Belt! I was so proud of him! Susi by far blew all of us away on the panel. I was looking at a miniature Nina Harkhani. This girl counted every count, answered loud every time, nothing stopped her. She was a runaway train with elite determination. And she had a dynamite attitude. It's always a treat to see a student bring that focus and energy to a test!

Mike Lair was the student I had to observe for his marks. He was an older gentlemen with a very placid countenance. He trains with Master DeJesus in Taekwondo but trains in a lieu of other disciplines with Sifu Dave. Sifu Dave is a very tough instructor in a lo of combative disciplines, so I was told Mike would be able to take a lot. However, Mike would be able to beat anything with his indomitable spirit. I discovered he was also, in fact, a cancer survivor. Immediately my heart was touched, having an experience of my own of overcoming physical illness. Mike knew he had this test down, after beating cancer, what could ever beat him? So Sifu Dave and I really did our best to push and beat down on Mike, to show he really can outlive any challenge that thwarts itself in Mike's way. he can tear it down.

And Sarah DeJesus, the MOTHER of my mentor! The honor it was to be judging her test. She was the oldest candidate at the age of 57. She is the perfect example of how it is NEVER too late to start martial arts, nor is it impossible. Sarah is a dedicated mother, helping Master DeJesus to every extreme when he started his own school. She refused to take any pay, spent extra hours to help that were not needed, just to be sure she was there for her son. She expressed she always wanted to do martial arts and was scared to start because of her age. I give any adult a lot of credit to put it in the time and effort to learn martial arts. I trained with many adult students who began training later in life. I belt tested with Mr. Ward when he was 45, or Peter Dunphy at 47, Mike Duke was in his fifties, John Vanderhee was in his thirties! Ms Gedman was an adult as well! 

I give Sarah credit because she does not only represent the adults. She does not only represent the "older" generation. She represents the women who train as well! I know so many awesome women warriors. For Sarah to do all those conditioning drills, sparring, self-defense, kicks, she went through it all with everyone else.And her son made it clear "Expect no special treatment!" I was silently crack up when he would yell "MOM!" and she's answer in an almost singing way "Yes siiir!" I was so proud of her.

Master DeJesus did a wonderful job, and I was honored to be there for my mentor. I was happy to have met new martial artists who have a great energy about them! I was privileged to got the know the candidates over their eight hours of testing. I was happy my own students came to show support, meet new students, and be apart of this good energy, and to continue to spread the good family nature and feel martial arts has to offer.

Yours in service,
MASTER TRENTO

Anger Into Laughter

"We love to laugh, loud and long and clear
We love to laugh, so everybody can hear
The more you laugh, the more you fill with glee
And the more the glee, the more we're a merrier we"

-"We Love To Laugh", Mary Poppins (August 27, 1964) 

"Holding onto anger is like grasping onto a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned."

-Buddha

Andrew Kranich has been my student for almost seven years. And in those seven years, a very strong friendship had been formed. We have had phenomenal bond but the friendship's process had a lot of struggle and challenges in between. Needless to say, the friendship prevailed stronger than the challenges and only made the friendship ten times stronger. We cannot look back at the nonsense of the past with any regret or shame.

But Andrew had built up and held onto a lot of anger from the past. I was taught years ago by a teacher that anger keeps us connected to the things we don't want. It's the most perverse thing in the world. But in reality, it's the anger that hurts us more. Andrew was mad at how people and circumstances had made such chaos in his life at one time and hurt many people. After recently letting go of a lot of anger myself, I tried to share with him the grand relief that comes with letting go of such anger. He asked me if I'd be able to spiritually purify him.

I have done anointings before, but I haven't had much practice in purifying spiritually. And the ones who I knew did so would use their own Qi and energy and it actually would be more damaging for the person healing than the one being healed. But I have been taught by great Qi Masters to use not only the energy of yourself but from the "eternal source of the universe" (God) that is abundant. I thought it would be appropriate to use the Purification Oil, since he was seeking purifying himself.

As I used the Purification Oil, I allowed spirit to guide me in moving the negative Qi throughout his body and mind to one central spot. I allowed my spirit to speak to his and asked God to bless his spirit and allow him to receive the blessings and good Qi that were to come his way. As I worked on him, he began to get emotional. Spirit told me that he felt as I did, that all his energy went into this anger that without it, he won't know what to do. He'll feel empty without a purpose. I told him he would not be empty and allow for Love and Faith to fill him up. Go to the positive reference points and memories and fill yourself up with them and allow for new love to fill him up.

Andrew began to get emotional. He was going through a process. Every person is different in their responses and reactions to a spiritual process like this. I could actually feel the anger and negativity being drawn from all over different meridians of the body coming into the center. It was from there that I asked God to help me pull it all out of him. It was a lot. As I spiritually pulled out the negativity from within him, I tried to keep myself shielded from it as well. I didn't want any of it to latch onto me.

In the meanwhile, I reassured him that the past is in the past, it's no more. Past is an illusion. Leave it there. The future is an illusion. Let it be. Be in the present moment and feel gratitude for the present love in his life. You can physically see the relief beginning to descend upon him and the calming affect take over. Then I had prayed over Andrew with the Prayer Against Evil that was used when I needed protection from negativity. I prayed to God to purify him and give him peace.

Then the most amazing thing happened. Andrew began to laugh uncontrollably. I smiled, I was not nervous at all. Because I understood exactly what was happening. I have been taught that every emotion has an "other side." For example, the opposite emotion of betrayal is trust. The opposite emotion of anxiety is confidence.

Some people will think they know the opposite emotion of anger. But I'll tell you that 95% of you will get it wrong. You see, anger is a negative expression of an emotion. A negative outburst, if you will. SO what is a positive expression of an emotion, like an outburst of positivity? LAUGHTER! The opposite emotion of anger is laughter! Andrew began laughing so hard, his stomach hurt and he was crying. All that anger just transformed into laughter. COMPLETELY TRANSFORMED as I was praying to God to purify him.

ALSO, and I totally forgot this, but the oil to use for anger is Purification! I was using the right oil for the right emotion. The affirmation "My direction is clear." And for Andrew, his direction looked bright. I kept thinking of Mary Poppins when they laughed so hard they were lifted high into the sky. They were "high" on laughter. That kind of abundance we should all have in our lives.

Yours in service,
MASTER TRENTO

 

Determination

Purpose plus determination equals success.

-My old master, Sahbumnim

Years ago at the end of August of 2002, I was training for my Black Belt test under my old master as an advance brown belt. The test was a little over a month away. My master had this away-training camp out in Washington, NJ at a place called Camp Bernie. We slept in cabins, did archery, obstacle courses in the woods, jogging on the mountain, it was a very cool weekend. One of the things there was mountain climbing. I used to always be afraid of mountain climbing. But I was taking my martial arts training very seriously and knowing how close I was to Black Belt, I had to apply what I knew because I was taught Knowledge is not power, applied knowledge is power. 

Other students were afraid, some began but didn't finish. While other students were around and we were talking, I quoted a lot of things I was taught by my master of the time. Where's there is focus, there is no room for fear to enter; Progress is the key to motivation; Fail to prepare, prepare to fail. Purpose plus determination equals success; Knowledge is not power, applied knowledge is power; etc. I said this because I felt it as a duty as an "almost Black Belt" to share with other students, and then do it myself. I went on the mountain climbing, my legs shaking a little bit with fear, but I climbed for the first time ever to the top and rang the bell. I demonstrated determination. I'll never forget how my old master silently smiling and making that face to himself, acknowledging that he was hearing me and liked what he was seeing. It made me feel proud. I think it would make him proud to know I still teach his lessons.

That's the back story. I went to Six Flags Great Adventure with some new friends, my brother, and a couple of my Black Belts. I used to LOVE going there. I remember going once with the Friars of Old when Kingdaka first opened! The last time I went to Six Flags was probably around six years ago in my junior year. Well I was invited to go and I took the chance to go and I didn't regret it at all! I had such a fantastic time!

We went on just about every roller coaster you could find, took a lot of pictures, and ate like pigs. I also had some break out dancing moments I couldn't help at the expense of embarrassing my brother >=) . Earlier in the day, I was denied a ride because I was wearing sandals and you're not allowed open toe shoes to go on this ride. I didn't care how stupid the ride was, I was upset and felt rejected, like a five year old being told he can't do something but everyone else can! My friends kid around and said they'd get me a stuffed animal #NeverGotIt. Toward the end of the night, we were winding down and there was this game where you had to test your balance and climb to the top and ring a bell to win a GINARMOUS stuffed animanl prize.

Well my friends jumped to the chance. But while watching my Black Belt, Erin, climb the ladder, I had a flashback of Camp Bernie. She really wanted to win the giant stuffed Pikachu stuffed animal for me. She was soooooo determined to do it. And she kept quoting the lessons I have taught her over the years. I have only seen this determination from her on Black Belt tests. Erin will be testing for 2nd Degree next month in September. She even commented that this ladder climb was like her Black Belt test. She claimed I WILL get it. I WILL win that Pikachu! I WILL! You get three chances to try for five bucks. 

Every time she fell, you saw more and more of that determination to achieve what she was after. The more I watched, the prouder I was. Not that she was trying to win me a stuffed animal, but to see that level of a 2nd Degree Black Belt determination. As a Black Belt, you use the lessons of martial arts in your life, even the smallest things. When her three tries were up "GIVE ME MY WALLET!!" She would continue on. "FIVE DOLLARS!" If she had $1,000 and still was having trouble, she'd blow the whole grand. Each time she got closer and closer, she honed her focus. Erin said to the staff member in charge of the game, Ryan, she is "going to win this." He responded "I'll believe it when I see it." Erin's response was beautiful! She said "Don't put your faith in what you see!" Now THAT is a Black Belt answer!

I was so proud of her. It's that kind of determination I always hoped to see in her. It's that level of determination I can't wait to see and test next month when she is challenged for her 2nd Degree. I have known Erin for seven years, since she was nine years old. I have been there for a lot of good times of her life, and a lot of struggles. I have had the privilege of watching her grow into a beautiful, bright young woman, full of DETERMINATION. Her 2nd Degree Black Belt test is going to be one of the most challenging things she will have to go through. But she can do it. It's the same determination she had to win that stuffed animal she will be demonstrating. The same way I demonstrated to my old master at Camp Bernie while mountain climbing. I am already proud of her. It was great as the master to see out in "the real world" a student applying the lessons you teach. I can remember the look and smile my old master had, hearing me quote him at Camp Bernie. The theme of Erin's test has been set. Carpe Diem! 

 Yours in service,

MASTER TRENTO

Land of Lucy

 “It's a helluva start, being able to recognize what makes you happy. ”
― Lucille Ball

 “Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. Your really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”
― Lucille Ball

 “One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn't pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself.”
― Lucille Ball

For as long as I could remember, I have always been a fan of Lucille Ball. Lucille Ball is, to this day, the greatest comedienne of all time. She earned this title by being a pioneer in her own way of bringing laughter to the world. In a day in age where television was brand new and nothing to too exciting, she had the entire world buying televisions JUST to watch her show, I Love Lucy.

She was the first woman to be pregnant on television. She was the first "real" person we ended up investing our emotions into. She was the first woman head of a studio. She was a perfectionist. She was hilarious. She was silly. She was clean. She was no-nonsense. She knew every aspect of the business, inside and out. She was tough. She was a hard worker.

She would have been 101 years old on August 6th. It's the same birthday as Lisa's. So we both decided to go to Jamestown, NY, the hometown of Lucille Ball for her birthday weekend. Every year there is the LUCY FEST and we wanted in! It was a six hour drive to Jamestown and we half expected the theme song to I Love Lucy to start playing the minute we saw "Welcome to Jamestown!" Our hotel was full of I Love Lucy memorabilia and pictures everywhere of Lucy playing her zany character that she played on television for 25 years.

The first night we went to see "Lucy under the Stars" where in a little courtyard they had a big projector playing I Love Lucy episodes with a whole bunch of people in lawn chairs, laughing and enjoying all the old classics. There were so many we can all think of. Bill Holden. The chocolates. Vitameatavegamin. Harpo. The ballet one. The grapes. It's amazing how millions of people can relate and know EXACTLY what episodes we were talking about.

The next day we took a bus tour of Jamestown. We had a fantastic tour guide who was very knowledgeable and very friendly. We saw murals of Lucy everywhere, saw the house Lucy was born in, went to the house she grew up in (which was also having a garage sale!), and the tour ended with a visit to the Lakeside Cemetery. We went to visit Lucy's grave.

This was big for me. I was going to be standing in the presence of this comedic legend's final resting place. The tombstone had a big heart that said "Ball" on it. I stood there in front of her grave and I began to quietly weep. I couldn't help but feel her spirit right there with me. The honor and excitement of being in that presence, but also the tremendous gratitude of being there and just for what Lucy has done for me in my life. Lucy brought me so much joy and happiness growing up. Lucy always made me laugh and is in my life someway, somehow. Everyone who knows me knows this about me. I even heard Lucy's spirit speak to me, words I will hold close to my own heart. They were for me to hear and no one else. As we left the cemetery, I put my hand on the tombstone and said a silent prayer of thanks to Lucy before we left. It was a big deal for me.

Lisa and I participated in something called the "Lucy Games" where I actually stomped on grapes like Lucy did in one her funniest classic episodes, and Lisa competed in the chocolate wrapping contest and won second place! We watched more "Lucy under the Stars", and at night we went to a replica of Ricky Ricardo's Tropicana to a comedy show with five or six Comedy Central comedians. But the before we went to that, we had Dinner with the Mertzes and Ricardos.

At the Crowne Theatre, we had a beautiful dinner and there was a three act play of these impersonators doing Lucy and Ricky Ricardo, and Fred and Ethel Mertz. The play did a montage of different things they did on different episodes. But these characters were absolutely MARVELOUS! The Lucy impersonator was the best one I have EVER seen in my life, and I have seen many! The mannerisms, the expressions, the voice, I felt like I was right there with the real Lucy! What a treat! I would pay big bucks to follow her and travel to see any other Lucy show she does!

The next day we explored two museums. One of Lucy and Desi's professional life with I Love Lucy and the second museum was on their personal life. There was so many different clothing Lucy would wear, and information on the brilliance of Desi Arnaz that is STILL used in television today. It was because of I Love Lucy that we have re-runs today, and the reason television shows use three cameras at once to film, and I Love Lucy is the only TV show that plays every hour of every day somewhere in the world. No other show can say that! The history is amazing!

I am glad I got to share Lisa's birthday weekend at the Lucy Fest. Lucy was so important to both of us, and Lisa is so very important to me. We had a fantastic time and I highly recommend to anyone to visit the Lucy Fest next year. It's such a wonderful tribute to enjoy and celebrate a woman whose face has been seen more around the world than any face ever, and to show the gratitude for the happiness and joy she brought into so many lives. To quote her ex-husband, Desi Arnaz: "I Love Lucy was never just a title."

Yours in service,
MASTER TRENTO

Finally...Forgiveness...

Like everyone in the world, I have experienced hurt, loss, betrayal and have gone through the emotions of anger, resentment, regret, and hate. We experience these circumstances and emotions because we are nothing more than HUMAN. I try very hard a lot of times to not be human.  My closest friends may say that is the one thing they dislike about me. But that's who I am. And trying not to be human has great advantages, and it also has it's many great disadvantages. One of them being that you cannot avoid but BE human. We participate as humans sometimes in the worst of ways.

A year and a half ago, I had gone through an experience that I can honestly say was probably the most devastating thing I have gone through. It involved many people who were very close to me that I loved very much, including my best friend of seventeen years. The details do not have to be enclosed, but it caused a lot of hurt, pain, grudges, and resentment on everybody's part. And there was enough blame to share with all involved.

It was Super Bowl Sunday. I now call that day the Sorrow Bowl. The aftermath of what happened that day left a terrible black cloud over all who were there. Some of my closest friends, who were more like family hated each other, were unforgiving, there were lies and stories, families I was once close with hated me out of ignorance, and there were a lot of misunderstandings of actions and intentions.

Over the past year and a half, I have been unable to forgive myself for all that had happened, nor forgive my former best friend of seventeen years. It destroyed me. I felt like I went through a horrible divorce. I involved him in every aspect of my life. Everything I once loved to do I couldn't do. Everything I still did had a hurtful memory, almost like a haunting that followed me every where I go. And some of the people who were once involved to this day are still affected and hold those negative emotions as if it were only yesterday, which does not help in moving on.

Spirit has been stern about forgiving. Throughout the year the topic finds it way to the surface and gets thrown in my face. But I didn't want to. I learned more and more about forgiveness, but couldn't bring myself to doing it. I wrote a blog on forgiveness if you click on this link. Mr. Miyagi said "Those who live with no forgiveness in their hearts live in worse punishment." I have always known this, so I did a great job at avoiding that. But I guess I needed to experience that worse punishment. Only a few weeks later did I write another blog on changes and the past, how we are supposed to learn from them to move on even if they still do hurt. Then a few blogs later I learned about mercy and peace, and I was taught how mercy is for those who don't deserve it and peace was created for those who cannot find it. Then my understanding to accept led me to the lesson of letting go which in turn brought me to the lesson of not caring. All the lessons lead me to forgiveness. But I wouldn't have it. Even with the time I had helped someone heal betrayal with the Forgiveness oil, helping them trust in where life would take them, I still couldn't do it alone.

We teach what we need to learn the most. Humans are flawed and fragile. We all are. So it would be a human's mistake that lead me to seeing something else. A situation had occurred where I shared something I thought I saw concerning my ex-best friend and my brother. I didn't act on it because I was unsure and I don't like to act or speak unless I know what I am talking about. The ex-BFF and brother both know this about me. But it doesn't change when we are committed to knowing and feeling how we want. What I was feeling was mis-communicated to one person who brought it to my brother more mis-communicated who then told the ex-BFF, before I knew it the details changed and intentions misinformed and I looked like the most blatant liar in the world.

It was then that I realized how we as humans participate in ways to fuel our negative emotions so we ourselves do not have to truly deal or release ourselves from moving on. We like what we know. It's predicable. It's scary to let go of all we know and learn from the unknown. We deny ourselves that. WE ALL DO IT. Sorrow Bowl put aside, I thought about everything from that point ON, and could only imagine the falsities and lies both I particpiated in and the ex-BFF participated in when we listened to those around us on how to move one and what to do without just doing what we always did, consult each other for a solution. We had a lot of strong "cheerleaders" around us, but many were wrong, very wrong. Thinking about this, I decided enough was enough. It was time to allow for closure.

I contacted both the ex-BFF and my brother. I wanted to be big boys and talk like adults. Not to point fingers and not to talk about Sorrow Bowl, but to get a basic understanding from each other and find a solution to move forward. The ex-BFF responded first. We all agreed, and we figured out a day and time. Just with the texting back and forth, I was laughing. The ex-BFF and I were still clowns in every which way. They wanted to meet at TMAFC. I wasn't happy about this. I did not feel it was a neutral place and truth be told if they wanted to leave they could, I couldn't. We had no other solution so I allowed it. I tried to think what I could do and then spirit told me "Be a master and teach." I had my answer.

The day came when they both walked into my school. It's been a year and half since I've seen the ex-BFF. He took his shoes off and bowed to the flags (which is what you're supposed to do on dojang) and walked up to me and shook my hand, asked how I was. I told him "Nervous." He said he too. The three of us stood there shooting the breeze for like five minutes, avoiding this talk. But I can't lie, I think we were all enjoying each other's company. He was impressed how I had an iPhone but found it typical my battery was dead at the time (tippy me). He liked my new uniform and noticed how I wear contacts.

I looked at them both and said "Okay, you wanted to come here so you're getting a martial arts lesson. On the mats!" My brother couldn't believe I was serious. I damn straight was serious. I gave them spots on the mats, we bowed to the flags, then they bowed to me. I told them "This is called...Qigong." I did some very basic Qigong movements explaining to them the posture, and the movements, the visualization, the energy flow, the alignment of the body, etc. After a few minutes the ex-BFF looked at me with a little smile and wide-eyed saying "You've been doing some deep mediation stuff." "You have no idea," I said.

Then I did the Qigong form that I did from my Black Belt test. I thought it was a great way to get us started before we talked. We took all the lessons we needed from our past and brought them into our present, and took all we DON'T need and throw it away. We did these movements several times before creating our Qi balls. After some cleansing breaths, we inhaled the Humility oil before we got started.

As we talked, it was like the last year and a half never happened. I was even having fun a little bit. We still referred to inside jokes that went over my brother's head, waving him off as if to say "don't worry about it" if he didn't understand and we laughed. We did not discuss what happened at Sorrow Bowl, that was not our reason for meeting. But we discussed the events that followed that were unnecessary and irrelevant. The abridged version: my ex-BFF and I tried very hard to make each other people we were not, we both disappointed each other, we outgrew each other and worked hard at going past the expiration date but it spoiled anyway. We both participated and believed only what we wanted and were committed to having resentment and hatred from the things we NEVER knew nor heard from each other but our cheerleaders. None of this takes away from the events on and leading up to Sorrow Bowl, but everything after, a lot of pain and angst on both our parts could have been avoided.

My brother happened to have gotten in the middle of all of this unfortunately. We discussed our viewpoints and how the hurt was made and the viewpoints on all our parts. We expressed how we felt and agreed, if we could just keep a flatline of common courtesy, we could move on in a better way. We also agreed not to participate in anything else from our cheerleaders. A lot of damage has been done already that we don't need to add to or allow others to add it.

Then I did what I said I would NEVER do....but I should know better as to never say never. I took out the Forgiveness Oil...I inhaled it...and I forgave him. I felt my ego doing all it can as to not allow me to do such a ludicrous thing!  But spirit prevailed over my ego. I told him fighting back tears that I forgave him and that peace be still in all our hearts from this point on.

It's done....finally....forgiveness....I really, honestly didn't think I could do it. I don't know if the ex-BFF thought I could do it. I don't think my brother knew I could do it. But I did it...the emotions were flushed out of me. Pain does not leave, but this wave of acceptance and allowance to move forward without the grief has begun. We said our goodbyes and moved on.

I do not know what the future brings. No reconciliation may ever come of this, nor will anything be fixed. But if we were to see each other on the streets, we could say hello with a smile and at least remember what once was that meant to much to each of us. One day we may sit don and discuss Sorrow Bowl, but not until we are both ready. I read recently that you truly know you have forgiven someone when you can honestly wish that person well. Regardless of how much hurt I was, after forgiving him I feel as if I can truly say, I hope things go well for you. And I hope he can say that about me. But to the ex-BFF, I do want to say I wish you well. And cholesterol is healing ;) lol.

Yours in service,
MASTER TRENTO

My First Lesson With Sifu

"As you wake to a new day, choose to be like a beautiful flower.
Open up to the rain, for it will nourish you.
Rise to the sun for it makes you so much more.
Become quiet and peaceful as nighttime falls.
Allow yourself time to reflect, for tomorrow will come soon enough.
Your beauty will surely grow with each passing day.
I see your beauty.
Can you?
Will you?"
-Sifu Pedro Cepero Yee

Hung Ga Kung Fu uses the principles of the five elements and five animals of traditional Shaolin philosophy. It is a system that provides mental and spiritual growth along with your physical growth through internal and external training. The history of this martial art can go as far back as the Ching Dynasty in thr 1720s-1730s. Growing up and training in the martial arts, I always felt the kung fu was THE art of arts. The traditions, the history, the spirit of it all was so real, so "magical", and the essence of this martial art changes you. It's something I've wanted to do all my life. Well that time has finally arrived.

Friday I had my very first lesson with Master Pedro Yee (Sifu). I was beyond excited, and a little nervous too. I walked into the school and Sifu gave me my uniform. He told me he would be presenting me with a lot of information which would be important for my understanding during the training, and to let him know if anything became overwhelming and if my mind were overloaded with too much.

We warmed up with Qigong. Each position was held for one minute. This set of movements were to open the "Seven Golden Passages", which would open the different Yang and Yin meridians in the body, depending on the pose. I felt the Qi charge up in my body at the different points, whether it be in my arms or my legs. Sifu went on explaining the flow of Qi, what we were physically accomplishing, what to expect later on, and I even got a little history lesson on how these poses were formed.

I began to learn the three earthly branch stances and we did drills using these stances. I was amazed at the amount of knowledge Sifu has with the mechanics and the techniques, and the understanding behind every movement. I know I need to train hard to have that same understanding as he in order to truly embrace the essence of Hung Ga. I need to feel it all out, and allow spirit to guide me to this understanding.

It's very different from Taekwondo. The breathing, the mechanics, the kias. Actually there aren't kias, but depending on where the strike goes, a different syllabus is used and a different range from within your body is released. I believe that's when you're body is truly in alignment with the spirit. When I stopped thinking about making the proper sound and breath, it found its way to the surface.

You can feel the tradition and spirit in the room as we continued with the lesson. The more Sifu got into the lesson, the more I got more into the lesson. The louder Sifu got, the louder and more intense I became. I loved every minute of it. I also began learning the first and oldest form of Hung Ga called Gong Ji Fuk Fu Kuen, subduing the tiger in character "I" pattern. The first half is Gong Ji Kuen by itself. The second half Fuk Fu Kuen was added later. From what I remember it was in the 1730s during the rebellion when they felt they needed to better prepare by practicing breathing and control along with power and speed. My understanding will continue to improve.

I used to think I was blown away when I worked with my old master. I thought working with Master Balon blew me away. But after training with Sifu, I now know what being blown away is. My legs were shaking violently, partly from the drills, and I am sure partly from the massive qi flowing through the lesson. I was in awe. I don't think I ever got so much out of a lesson before as I did on this day with Sifu. I am absolutely amazed and so grateful. I am blessed to start right, fresh from the beginning.

I am so ready to see where my training will lead me. Sifu is a master's master, and I trust him one hundred percent. I am so lucky to have him as a master and am grateful for the opportunity to train under someone of his caliber. I hope I don't disappoint, and I hope I can reach my full potential in the highest degree, as long as I keep to my course.

Yours in service,
MASTER TRENTO

Breakfast with Sifu

I met Sifu Pedro Cepero Yee at his school when he was hosting a Qigong Qi-Healing seminar at his school in Clifton, NJ that my mentor, Professor Lisa Sargese, invited me to. I knew after that day that I had found my new martial arts master. But I would not begin my training with him until I achieved some of my goals and completed projects in my current training leading up to my master test in Taekwondo.  Once I accomplished all I set out to do with that, would I begin my training with him.

The day after my one year anniversary of meeting Sifu, or Sifu-versary as Lisa calls it, I had met with my new master for breakfast, to discuss my new training with him. I was beginning a completely new era of my martial arts career, and a new era of my life. I was starting as a beginner yet again with the best of the best and with a clean slate. This is what I have been waiting for my entire life to do.

I arrived extra early because I did NOT want to be late for this meeting! It's okay if he were to come late, but I certainly wasn't going to be! We met for our breakfast and I got to catch up with him about my Black Belt test and my Florida trip, and then we got down to business. Sifu asked me what my goals were for my training, because he had his own ideas but wanted to hear some of my own insights.

Like I said, this is brand new for me. I am coming into this as a novice completely! However, I do want to train in every aspect of kung fu, to truly understand and feel the essence of the art. I broadly expressed my goals. I want to of course train in the physical (fighting/body) methods of the training, train in the meditative (thought/mind) methods of training, and the spiritual (healing/qi) methods of the training. Sifu is in charge of the syllabus for me.

Then Sifu explained to me a little bit about how he teaches and how he wants me to come into understanding and feeling the art in my training. As we sat there eating our breakfast, I hung onto every word as he explained the history of Hung Ga's organization which in turn gave me the history of Sifu himself. I won't go into every detail of the stories, but my eyes were getting wider and wider and I felt myself lean in over the table more and more as I listened and learned. I was amazed at what I was hearing.

It's mind blowing to see how far the essence of hung ga as come whether it be the development of the organization, or the true feel of the honor and integrity that truly makes Hung Ga what it is today. Sifu told me countless stories involving he and his father and trips to China, politics, naysayers, adventures which in my eyes that had the values of Hung Ga prevail above all things. Keeping one's word and honor above all else. Being true to oneself and continuing the path of upholding one's values even in the face of danger and envy. I was inspired.

I very much related to many of the stories on my own level of experience. Many times in my own story of how I came to being today, it was when I kept to my values did great things follow, good outcomes and solutions were to be found, and people were transformed for the better in the process, even those who were against you. I know what it feels like to want to do great thing with your life and have people who envy you absolutely despise you and even try to sabotage you. I know how by acting out of integrity can people change for the better and see life in a new light. I got to reflect and learn simultaneously.

Sitting there having my breakfast with Sifu was not only motivating, but enlightening. I could feel the love he has for his art, and I was excited to become a part of this lineage. It has been four years since I have had someone to call "master". I've been training solo this whole time, and although I have had incredible mentors, they were not my masters. I missed having a master-student relationship. And boy am I ever so grateful to have found Sifu.

I'm a little nervous too. It's been so long. But I can only apply what is expected of me. Be true to myself, keep doing what I have been doing, stick to my word, and uphold the values I live by, and the essence of martial arts shall prevail in all aspects of my life. I hope the ancestors will guide me in all I do in my life and on this new journey. All I can do is my very best while training with the best. Words cannot express my excitement. Now begins a whole new world with my training with Master Pedro Yee!

Yours in service,
MASTER TRENTO

Visiting Grandma Lucy

Therapist: So ladies, what brings you to therapy?
Fran Fine: I came because my mother has an obsession with me getting married.
Sylvia Fine: I came because my daughter has a delusion that I have an obsession.
Grandma Yetta: I came because they brought me and I don't know how to get home. (Looks at Fran) Who are you?
Fran Fine: I'm your granddaughter, Fran. Grandma Yetta: Oh Franny, nice to meet you. Fran Fine: One nice thing about senility, you're always meeting new people. 


The apartment Kristin and I live in was originally the apartment of Kristin's Grandma Lucy. Grandma Lucy is 98 years old today. She is a very strong German woman who has had a very full and long life. The last couple of years, Grandma has been getting older and older and can't walk, can't hear, and can't remember too well. A couple of years ago, Grandma Lucy moved into a nursing home in Demarest, NJ when she couldn't take care of herself anymore.

Kristin's father would religiously visit her every week and Kristin and her mother would make regular visits as well. But they never knew what kind of day it would be when they saw her. Some days were good where she was responsive and knew who everyone was, other days she didn't know who anyone was and would cry. The bad days were the most emotionally trying days. Kristin would dread going to visit because she understandably didn't want to see her grandmother in such a miserable state. Many times when I'd ask Kristin or her parents how Grandma Lucy was doing, they would answer "Existing."

Very recently, Grandma Lucy was moved to a new nursing home closer by to us. I knew of this particular nursing home myself because my great-great aunt and great-grandmother lived here before. I knew the place like the back of my hand. I actually celebrated my 13th birthday at this nursing home many years ago when I came to visit them. It's been ten years since I've been here. That time of my life seems so long ago. I never thought I'd ever be back to this nursing home to see anybody. Until now!

I went with Kristin this past Sunday to visit Grandma Lucy. I knew she was a little hesitant because of past visits at the old nursing home of not knowing whether it would be a good day or bad day. We drove up and walked through the front doors. It's been ten years since I walked in here. We walked down the corridor to where Grandma Lucy's room was and she was sitting in the hallway in her wheelchair. The second she saw Kristin she made an "Oh!" face and pointed at her. She recognized her right away. I was personally happy about that. It was a good sign.

We wheeled her into her room and we began talking to her...or actually writing to her. She can't hear so Kristin would write on a pad of paper and Grandma would read it word by word. She still can read and comprehends! Not bad at 98! She remembered who Kristin's sister was and who Sadie was, she remembered Kristin's sister lived in Texas and made jokes how she had money to live in Texas, rubbing her fingers and thumb together.

She was sitting in her wheelchair for a long time I guess, because she would randomly say about every 5-10 minutes or so that her rear end hurt, and she would start laughing, which made us laugh. She was witty, laughing, talkative, responsive, I'd say it was a really good day for Grandma Lucy. Every time she said something so witty we weren't expecting, Kristin and I would bust out laughing, and Grandma Lucy laughed with us. I think I was crying I laughed so much at one point. I was really enjoying myself with Grandma.

Her lunch came at one point and there was a piece of paper on the tray with her name on it. She thought it was a bill and asked when she had to pay for it. I told her "It's on the house!" She couldn't read my lips so I went slower. "IT'S. ON. THE. HOUSE!!!" She stared....."FREE!!!!!!" Then she understood and it was so cute when she made her surprise "oh!" face, like she couldn't believe she was getting a free meal! Kristin looked at her and said "It tastes better now, eh!?" LOL!!

We walked her around a little bit to get a change of environment and scenery, and at one room Kristin and I saw these two roommates watching television, one in a wheelchair and one standing up. Both just engrossed in the television. Kristin turned to me and said "Look! There we are sixty years from now!" I asked her "Wanna put a deposit down for a room now so we don't have to worry about it then?" LOL!!

But one of my favorite moments was when Kristin picked up a picture from the nightstand of her grandmother, her sister, and Kristin. She picked it up and held it up and told her grandma that she had the same picture in her office at work. "I have it on my computer so I can see you every day." I thought that was the sweetest thing. Grandma Lucy's response was "You won't get a lot of work done then!" It was a great moment.

At the end of our visit, Grandma Lucy told me how strong she was and she wanted to fight me. So she made a tight fist and I put my fist against hers and we started to test our power and push each others fists. And you know what? The old lady has got some umph! I was impressed! She was also very proud, and Kristin had her show me her muscles. Grandma had this big smile on as she showed off her power!

We said our goodbye after what must have been over an hour. No tears, just I love yous and see you soons. I was happy I went to see Grandma Lucy, and I was even happier it was a "good day" for her and Kristin could leave knowing her grandmother is doing well. To see a 98 year old, you really begin to think WOW, the things she has seen, the things she lived through, the life she experienced, you never know whose presence you'll be in. But I was happy to have had time with Kristin and Grandma Lucy and have a day where I got to see her smile, laugh, be cute, make jokes, read, eat cake but not lunch, and try to overpower my fists. All I have to say about Grandma Lucy is, you go girl!

Yours in service,
MASTER TRENTO