Being the Candle: A Master At Last!

"Only one who devotes himself to a cause with his whole strength and soul can be a true master. For this reason, mastery demands all of a person."

-Albert Einstein

June 23, 2012 -- The day had finally arrived. I have been waiting all my life for this day. Did I know what it would be like when I was a kid? Could I have figured where I'd be in life the time this moment would arrive? Could anything have prepared me for the journey I had to take and go through for this test? I do not know, but the emotions were running high. I can't say I was nervous, although nerves did set in at the beginning. But I was definitely excited.

Three years ago, I tested at Fastkix Taekwondo in Spotswood, NJ for my 3rd Degree Black Belt under my mentor, Master Kevin Balon, who at the time was a 6th Degree Black Belt. At that time I was teaching students privately out of basements, garages, and backyards. I was a little on the heavier side, but my heart was a strong as ever. And many of the families who supported me over the many years to that point were there along with my parents and brothers. I also met another one of my mentors, Master Samuel DeJesus at that test. He was testing for 4th Degree Black Belt at the time.

I remember many names of the other Fastkix students I had tested with. I remember this kid named Gabe, a girl named Whitney, a woman who's self-defense routine my students talk about to this day named Miss Sue, Nick Carbley who was testing for 3rd Degree with me as well, and a little boy named Maxwell who impressed me with his Korean history knowledge.

Nick and Gabe in the background

It was three years later and I got to test with some of these people once again. I remember how they welcomed me and supported me as one of their own three years ago. They were just as welcoming, if not MORE welcoming this time again! I arrived extra early to do a four mile run with some of the candidates who were testing for higher ranks. I've trained with Gabe under another one of my mentors, Master Bardatsos, who was testing for 3rd Dan. I also ran with Whitney who was testing for 3rd Dan. And I was really excited to test with Nick again, we were BOTH testing for 4th Dan again.

The four mile run symbolized, to me, us running on our path to our goal. We were on this journey together, and we shared the time together. We got to bond a little bit, share each others positive energy, and our goals. We got back to the school and stretched out and before we knew it, our families, and friends began coming in to show their support. My parents were there, Kristin, Robert, Sam, Kristin's father Erich, my dear friend Dawn, Jill, mentors Lisa and Charlene, Mr. Duke, and many of my students and their parents. And yes, of course Tricia!

Robert, Mr. Duke, and Sam.

Ann Marie and Dawn.

Kristin Barrett watching closely.

Master Balon began the test with a basic warm up of blocks and kicks. Some of the terminology for the techniques were different, some VERY different for me. But I made my educated guesses, some were common sense, and others, had to look over my shoulder. Not a big deal. Just do the moves well. Check. BUT what was really cool was at the end of the basics warmup, Master Balon had everyone sit to the side EXCEPT me and Nick.

Master Balon wanted to do something a little extra with the two of us since we were testing for such high ranks, he planned a little something special for our basics portion. Master Balon found his old 4th Dan Black Belt test. He told us that we went down to Texas for this test and the instructor has totally different names for the techniques, almost like what I was experiencing only moments ago. But Master Balon at the time did not want to ask the instructor what move he meant because he felt that a 4th Degree Master should be able to decipher on his own what the move was. So he wanted to see how well Nick and I would do by reading us and having us do Master Balon's 4th Dan test basics.

I was honored to have been able to do something my mentor had done on his test and I am sure Nick felt the same way, having the opportunity to experience his his own master had gone through for this very rank. We didn't do too bad, some were really good, some were really off, some were very focused, some were even a little comical. But I really appreciated the extra challenge on the test!

Master Balon giving his fourth degree test to Nick and I.

At 4th Degree, you should be able to figure out the technique even by a different name.

Then we began the test following the AAU Taekwondo guidelines. We were divided into groups, since there were about 20 of us all together. Whitney, Gabe, Nick, and I were all in the same group. After every few forms we would alternate with another group while doing different conditioning exercises in the back. Our bodies were being used the entire time.

I love doing my forms. I feel, in my opinion, it shows the true essence and grace of the martial art. And I am very pleased with all the work I have done and improvements I have made to my forms, many thanks to Master Balon for that. I performed all of the ITF (traditional) Taekwondo forms for this test, they are the forms I have done since I was a white belt and began 15 years ago. And it was funny because I kept having flashbacks as I were doing the forms. I don't think anyone could have really realized it, but my spirit was cumulatively bringing my entire Taekwondo career to the forefront of my mind.

How many people have I taught these forms? How many ties have I done Dan Gun? Where was I in my life for Yul Gok? What was important to me when I learned Tae Goi? What were my goals when i learned Hwa Rang? Who was important to me in my life when I learned Kwang Gae? Where was I living when I learned Juche? Was I really teaching in the basements when I learned Sam Il? My entire history could be seen through these forms. I was very happy with them, and it was amazing to think of how much I had been through to be at this very point.

Toward the end we did our level forms individually. I had to do my three third degree forms Sam Il, Yoo Sin, and Choi Yong. For the General Knowledge portion I had to recite the historical meanings of the three forms and I also had to do a question-answer with Master Balon. He asked me about my goals and how I will continue to improve on my training and how I am going to relate it to my life and into my own school and with my students.

You have to remember, three years ago I was in this same room saying how I was going to open up my own school and that I would be learning all these things and start all these programs once I open my own school etc. Now here I am having my own school for two years already and I did everything I said I would. You never know where you're going until you get there. It's amazing how life comes full circle.

After the general knowledge portion, we moved onto the self-defense portion. I believe only the people belt testing, not maintenance testing had to demonstrate their self-defense. What each persion had to do was a 3-5 minute presentation. Some did skits, some did a free for all attack and demonstrated how their reflexes were conditioned to defend against the unexpected, or someone like me had to do instructional.

Three years ago when I met Master DeJesus, I witnessed for the first time Haganah, which is a style of Krav Maga, high level self-defense. I remember being used as the dummy for him and was so impressed with it, thinking "I'm going to learn that for my next test!" Sure enough, Master DeJesus began teaching me Haganah and I absolutely loved it! It really is a very militant, high level self-defense stylethat I think a 4th Degree should be able to learn and know for this level of training, as I explained on this test.

Once again, Frankie helped out and attacked me to show five open hand defenses, some gun defenses, and some knife defenses. I am sure some people have never seen anything like this before. One mother sat with an appalled look on her face. Others were very intrigued. And some were entertained at how easy Frankie was thrown as a rag doll (he's a good actor too). A special thank you to Master DeJesus for helping me prepare for this portion of the test.

Me performing an open hand Haganah defense with Frankie.

Keep the elbow up!!

When everyone's self-defense routines were finished, we moved onto Olympic Taekwondo sparring. We were separated into different groups, by age and height. All matches were 2 minutes long and everyone had three rounds. Nick and I would do four rounds for fourth degree. My first opponent was a 1st Degree, very aggressive and very strong. My second opponent was older than me and did great. I always give an adult in the martial arts a lot of credit because martial arts training really is a commitment and adults have a lot in their lives between family and work, so kudos to all adult martial artists at any level.

My third match was with someone who I have trained with under Master Bardatsos named, Gustavo. Gustavo is an excpetional fighter, just like Gabe. He's quick, agile, patient, and smart. Whenever I spar an elite fighter like him, I can't help but smile because I get excied for the challenge. It was great for a fourth degree Black Belt test. Then the last match was with Nick and I. Nick told me he does a lot more point sparring than Olympic sparring, but he did great. As tired as we were, we both gave it our all and had fun with it. Nick has great spirit and I can see such phenomenal changes in this young man since I last tested with him three years ago.

The final portion of the test was breaking. Master Balon has a set of requirements for each belt level. Everyone, regardless of age broke the same one inch thick boards, 12 inches long, 10 inches wide. These are not easy boards to break, so I was especially impressed with the younger candidates who were breaking these boards. Even Kristin was really surprised to see younger kids breaking what we call "adult boards".

For our level, we had a combination of different stations, two boards each. I did a front kick-side kick without landing, then a spinning heel kick. Then Nick and I were given 9 more boards to do another combination. I chose a ridge hand strike with two boards, a 180 jump front kick with two boards, then my five board sliding side kick, which was my goal for this test. Not a lot of people are used to holding for this type of break and it's hard to really get the leverage and support of FIVE of these boards. I know it because I have been on the receiving end myself.

Samantha, Robert, Frankie, and Kristin all came onto the mats to help hold for this break. I was actually very pleased to have them there for this last portion of my test. Sentimental, I can be #YodaReference. We had to adjust a few times. They didn't break the first time. They didn't break the second time. Readjusted again. I wasn't worried, because I knew once we figured out how to get the stability of these boards, I can pierce through them. And speaking of ourside reinforcement of Qi, Master Balon got up to help hold the boards. "Uh oh! The boss is here! No pressure!" I joked.

Once Master Balon helped hold the boards, I picked up on his Qi, kia-ed (kioped) my loudest, and pierced right through the five boards. Right after I broke through the boards I stood tall with a "Okay I broke them" kind of look. But I looked up at Master Balon who stood for a moment, and a smile spread across his face. A smile that just said "Well done" and "I'm proud" kind of smile. He gave me a little hug as well. I think that was a very special moment for me on this test.

Consulting with the mentor.

That was it. I did all I had to do. I accomplished everything I said I would. I demonstrated all I felt I should. I sat and waited for the rest of the candidates to finish their breaks, and then we all sat down to hear our results. Master Balon awarded the certificates to those who had maintenance tested. Then he began to award the belts starting with the 1st Degrees and up.

I awaited patiently, as the butterflies zoomed in my stomach and the emotions already building up. Yes, I know I am sentimental and emotional as it is. But this test, this very moment was something I had been wanting since I was eight years old. It as still surreal. Everything was hitting me all at once. My fifteen years of training flashed before my eyes, and the rush of joy and gratitude that built up inside of me was overwhelming. Kristin, who I started this journey with, as there; my parents, three of my mentors, my Black Belts, close friends, all there to witness a moment that I've waited for my entire life and it meant so much to me. It meant everything to me.

Master Balon called up my name and I stood up and announced I "was hereby awarded Fourth Degree Black Belt!" Not only did my supporters cheer for me, but the wonderful and exceptionally supportive Fastkix Taekwondo Family did as well. I turned around as I took off my old belt and Master Balon tied my new belt around my waste. A belt I thought I would receive with my old master. I began to tear up and Master Balon spoke in my ear and said "You did it. This is all for you. Remember that," which made me tear up even more until Frankie yelled from the back "Don't cry!" LOL! Master Balon knew how much this meant to me, and how significant that very moment of him tying that belt around my waste was. Mr. Trento was no more. At that moment, Master Trento was finally born.

Cheering for all the candidates.

Mastr Balon tying my new 4th Degree Black Belt around my waist.

I couldn't hold in my emotions for the gratitude and joy overcame me like a whirlwind.

With the final knot, Mr. Trento is no more, Master Trento is born!

Me with my mentor Master Kevin Balon who awarded me with my 4th Degree Black Belt.

I did it. I was a master at last. The dream I held onto, the dream that kept me going even in the toughest times, has arrived. When I was eight years old, I said with this KNOWING feeling that I would do this. But even though we spiritually know, nothing can prepare you for the wave of emotions hen you're finally there and when you share it with the people who mean most to you.

There were a lot of people over the last fifteen years who contributed to this very moment. Oprah Winfrey once said,"We are all beacons of light for one another." We know we never truly accomplish anything alone. I have been blessed with a life I never expected and helping up the steps of the ladder over the years have been hundreds of people. And we always remember those people we shared the journey with, the struggles, the joys, and the magic. Only a few can I thank in this blog right now. In particular, thank you Kristin Barret for the many happy years we shared over the years not only in martial arts but in our personal lives as well. Thank you to the other Friars, Julie, Kenny, and Nina who always play a pinnacle role in my life.

My Black Belts and closest friends, especially Robert Lisciandrello, the "powerhouse of friendship", Samantha Volk, Frankie Peracchio, Andrew Kranich, and Erin McKenna along with Samantha Frey as well. You guys will always be "my trophies". To al my students and supporters who came to the test, you all make my life so much richer and I thank you for all your love and support. And George Valentino who played a vital role in preparing me for this test with the pretest. Thank you to my parents who came to support and have seen me through all my training career and know how important this is to me. To my wonderful mentors, Master Peter Bardatsos, Master Samuel DeJesus, Professor Lisa Sargese, and master trainer Charlene Scarcella who all play part in making me the master I have become.

And of course to Master Kevin Balon whom I want to thank you so much for everything. The training I have done with you and hope to continue to do with you as a new master of Taekwondo has been a treasure. Every workout with you I walked away with a plethora of information and I leave in awe of the amount of detail I get from you. I love how even a quarter of an inch of a block is of the utmost importance to you and it is something I admire and emulate. It is a comforting feeling to know there is a master of your caliber out in the Taekwondo world and that the art is just as important to you as it is for me. It was an honor to have received my 4th Dan from you and thank you for making the entire experience a memorable one. I definitely appreciated the extra drills with Nick for the basics, the extra sparring match, the extra station of board breaking, and the use of A.TRENTO on my belt =) , I loved it all!

At last! A maser! Even at the end when Master Balon made a few announcements, he acknowledged how TMAFC will be going to the AAU Taekwondo nationals for the first time and regarded me as Master Trento. I felt so validated! I want everyone I come in contact with the know that you can achieve anything you want. Continue to pursue your dreams and make them reality! there are no limits to what you can do. And as a master, I will share that essence the martial arts has to offer in helping people achieve their greatest bliss in life.