Letting Go

"To let go isn't to forget, not think about, or ignore. It doesn't leave feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret. Letting go isn't winning and it isn't losing. It's not about pride and it's not about how you appear and it's not obsessing or dwelling on the past. Letting go isn't blocking out memories or thinking sad thoughts, and it doesn't leave emptiness, hurt, or sadness. It's not giving in or giving up. Letting go isn't about loss and it's not defeat. To let go is to cherish memories, but to overcome and move on. It's having an open mind and confidence in the future. Letting go is accepting. It's learning and experiencing and growing. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and made you grow. It's about all that you have, all that you had, and ...all that you will soon gain. Letting go is having the courage to accept change and the strength to keep moving. Letting go is growing up. It's realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy. To let go is to open a door and to clear a path to set you free."

-James Hillman

Not too long ago, for some reason I was on one of my best friend's Facebook page, Kristin Barrett, and on her "About Me" section of her page, there was the above quote. I don't know where she found the quote, nor do I know if she knows who James Hillman is, but she found something that really stood out for me. I have been sitting on it, pondering the meaning behind it and whether or not I truly understood it, and whether or not it is something I have applied, and if not, how I could do so. 

The beginning of the quote tells us what letting go isn't. It isn't forgetting about or pretending it's not there, but it is not something to put our attention on either. It is not something to put our energy in and dwelling on and it is not about experiencing the negative emotions. It has nothing to do with gain or loss, nor blocking anything out of your mind and heart. It is not failure or defeat and letting go is not supposed to leave us feeling that there is any void that needs to be filled.

So understanding what letting go is NOT, we then compare to the second part of the quote, which tells us what letting go IS. "To let go is to cherish memories, but to overcome and move on." Hmmmm. I feel with my experience earlier this year that hurt me in such a bad way, and then not being able to find forgiveness for a certain person, the memories I have which can be good are associated with many things in my life. Those memories seem tainted to me. How can I be able to cherish them?

Answer: "It's about having an open mind and having confidence in he future. Letting go is accepting. It's learning, experiencing, and growing." Okay. So having an open mind, I don't think my mind can be any more open that it already is. I can confidently say I am the most open minded individual you will run into. I never foo-foo any options or possibilities of any circumstance. But having that open mindedness and confidence in the future. I guess that's where the motivation I am working for comes into play. Making sure I feel good about where life will go and where it will lead me. Maybe just a little faith? And to learn and experience, I am always making sure I m learning and having new experiences, I do my best not to deny any opportunities to do so. And with that I grow.

But here's the key part I think. "Letting go is accepting." I wrote before about the first step to acceptance taught to me by Albus Dumbledore in which he said "Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery." So true I believe this statement is and where I think the accepting part is a struggle. There is a lot I do not understand, and what I do understand makes no sense. Or maybe unreasonable. Irrational even? So this lack of understanding brings a lack of acceptance, which is a lack of recovery. Lack of letting go. 

Hillman continues to say that to let go is to embrace all the good experiences and bad ones. Also to be grateful for what I had and have and WILL have. I think that is important. It is the attitude of gratitude that brings us abundance. I can be grateful for what I learned and find gratitude in those experiences, but I think cherishing the past memories right now is almost unbearable, because the void those memories left hurt like nothing else. And then it talks about accepting change and having the strength to move on. Well I guess everything is coming full circle now...

So I know what I have to do ultimately. It's not forgiveness right now, though I know the lack of it is killing me. But to gain this understanding as best I can and to fully ACCEPT the past and realize the past does not matter, and find gratitude to the lessons and truth of the reality of the situation, then can I truly and FINALLY LET GO. That is what I need to do, LET GO. It is kind of scary. Our egos want to hold on and sometimes thrive on the pain and suffering we run into or cause ourselves. But that "hold back" is going to do JUST THAT: Hold us back from reaching our highest potential. And that is a big no no. 

So I thank Kristin for unintentionally giving me this piece of the puzzle and bringing this journey of higher self to a full circle. Now the hard part: applying it....

Yours in service,

ANDREW TRENTO