My "Never Give Up" Miracle

"Faith is when you believe in something that common sense tells you not to."

-Miracle on 34th Street

I have a whole list of blogs for the new year. I've been waiting them out, trying to finish up and plan and prepare for the new year. Holidays were a very rough time for me this year. Actually, it was the first time holidays were rough in 25 years. I'll do a review of 2013 I guess, because we have to accept our lessons, faults, mistakes, as well as the successes and accomplishments, and fun times. But once again, I was reminded of something very very important that I hold true to my heart.

You see, I always wanted to be the person in life who never gave up on people. I have many reasons why I wanted to be this way. One is because I really do believe in the good of people. I want to be the kind of person who finds the good and doesn't look for what a person's angle is or interpret intentions or read between lines, because in my experience those who do that are most of the times, if not always, wrong! I had a Goku-kind-of naive sense in trusting people with a dash of Rose Nylund simple minded perspective that took things very literally. I loved that about me. I also wanted to be like Dumbeldore where second chances were unlimited. He never gave up on people who yearned to better.

I also realize that sometimes people who struggle in life are never given the chance or opportunity to move forward. And all it takes is ONE person to believe in them. My greatest strength was when people believed in me when I didn't believe in my own self. I also hate people telling others they can't do or become something. So I become the biggest fan and if I am the ONLY person to believe in that person, then fine but I won't give up. I'm not saying there aren't times I won't get angry or upset and want to give up. Sometimes I even say I will, but I don't. I don't have it in me because I don't want that in me. It's not who I am. 

I can't begin to tell you how many times people have told me "Give up on that person!" or "They'll never change!" or "No one cares, why should I?" or "You're wasting your time, there's no one like that." and even "Kindness is dead in the world. There is no hope."

You know, it's one thing to SAY "There's always hope," and then behave otherwise.

For over twenty years I was very much like this. But the last couple of years, I lost a bit of that. I guess my sense of self was beaten down a bit, and I know I allowed that to happen, no one else. I have taught and helped many people to build up themselves, but that doesn't mean the ones teaching don't have to continuously put it into practice, and fall off the band wagon. But this was a very big part of me. And I was losing it, and I knew it.

Someone I knew always said "People are always out for themselves. There is no more good in the world." And I refused to believe that. But the more negative experiences I was having in my life, the more trials and tribulations, the more hurt and sadness, the more stress and anxiety, I began to feel that way too. And I was very torn. Then last year I wrote a blog about a time I went to visit my friend Nina and was stuck at a toll booth with no money for the toll and I felt embarrassed and upset. I turned to my right and a man pulled up with two quarters in between his thumb and forefinger asking if I needed money. He gave it to me and drove away.

It brings tears to my eyes to even write that little paragraph of a story because I remember the tremendous gratitude I had for that man who I never knew his name, never knew before, and don't even remember his face. But I remember the gratitude he made me feel, and it's that moment I try to hold on to, to say "You see! There IS good in the world!" and hold onto it tight. Well I didn't hold on tight enough.

This second half of the year was horrible for me. I really cannot wait until it is over. I took off the last week of December but had done really NOTHING to enjoy myself. And I ended up working, doing errands, or things for other people. So Saturday I decided to go to the movies. I went alone. I brought my bookbag with me which I usually do, and I enrolled in the Stubs Club with the movie theatre and it earned me a free popcorn. I don't usually buy movie theatre popcorn because it makes me sick to my stomach. But I figured, I haven't had it in a long time and it was free. What the hell!

I went to see two movies, and during the second movie, sure enough I was getting sick to my stomach from the popcorn, and I had a splitting headache from NOT having coffee that day yet. So I took out my essential oils from my bookbag and kept the case out in case in needed them, which I did. They did the trick, but I wasn't going to a third movie because the headache was getting bad. So I left the theatre and went to the Dunkin Donuts downstairs and bought my extra large coffee with French Vanilla creme and sugar. From there I went to see if Samantha Volk was working at Crumbs Bakery (she was not). Then I walked the mall a little drinking my coffee and bought a Yankee Candle for 50% off.

When I got to my car leaving my heart stopped: Where are my oils?! Not only my oils, but something else very important in the case. I was frantic! I ran back to the movie theatre, checked all theatres, the bathroom, guest services, Questioned and interviewed all the cleaning crew, left a report, went to Dunkin Donuts and searched. The woman remembered the oils being with me. This was helpful! She looked at her security cameras. There I am WITH the oils! Good! The hunt was on! I went to Crumbs and Yankee Candle shop. Nothing. I went back and forth, security office, I did everything I did but file a police report, because by the time I finished my searching, I could have watched TWO more movies at the theatre. There is no way the case was not TAKEN because I did not stop or stay anywhere long enough for me to just leave it someplace. I must have thought I put it back in my book bag at crumbs.

I was devastated. I was angry. I was so upset. At one point, I sent a text message to my closest and most respected friends. I told them I was in trouble and needed prayers of good faith, Qi blasts, positive thoughts, calling upon angels, you name it. My phone also died during this search because my new phone doesn't keep a charge. There I was in front of Louis Vuitton praying to St Anthony, praying to the angels, praying to God, sitting on the chair with my hands clasped together, fighting back tears "Please help me find what was lost but now be found..." I went home empty handed Saturday night.

Many people said "Someone took it! You'll never see it again now." Some said "It's a shame people would take like that." I also got "Why did you have them out in the first place!?" and "They're long gone by now. It'll take a miracle to get those back."

All I kept thinking was, yes a miracle is what I can use. A miracle is what will happen. As the anger at myself built up and the more upset I got, the more I wanted to agree with all these people. I wanted to feel "People are out for themselves and go out of their way to hurt people", etc. But then I stopped. I said another prayer, asked for patience, and began showering compassion and forgiveness to whoever had the case. So I remembered all the people praying to Jimmy Stewart in It's a Wonderful Life. So I posted on Facebook my need for prayers and positive thoughts. Not a boo hoo me I lost something, just asking for positive and good. I believed God needed more than just my voice.

I wanted to believe that there really are good people out there who would find it and turn it in. I thought of the oils and the important thing and I visualized them in my hands with gold light. "Please God, I know there is good in this world. Please let me see that light of good I believed in so much.."

There was not much I could do Sunday, and I inquired a bit further this morning and the security camera did show someone leaving with my case BEFORE I even left the bakery. I was stressed and upset. The oils themselves are expensive and important, and the other item of importance was stressful in itself. I came to work today on my day off, to get a head start on a few things, had a private lesson, and a couple of hypnosis clients. During one of the hypnosis clients, a number came up on my phone but I couldn't answer. It was a south Jersey number. When I was done with the client I returned the phone call.

It was a construction worker who was working on the mall's parking lot. He said he found the case of oils in the parking lot by the Neiman Marcus (which I was no where near that day). He brought them to the security office who would not take them, only items left in the food court (they told me the same thing) and to go to the store manager. But he wanted to make sure the rightful owner had it. He was already back on his way home, but I kept his number and we agreed to meet in a public place at the mall. He will hold onto the case for me until we meet tomorrow. I don't know if everything will be there or not, but what means more to me is that one person, ONE person did find my oils and did the right thing. That's all it took for me to know that there IS good in people and it's very much alive. That is a comforting thing in itself. And it gives me a boost to continue believing when no one else does. To continue never giving up on people. To never lose faith for "Faith is when you believe in something common sense tells you not to."

This construction worker was a hero today, not because he found my belongings (which I still don't know if I have everything in the case yet), but because he represented everything I believed in about people. That was a gift in itself.

You see? Prayers work, especially when we pray together. There IS good in the world. There IS good in people. NEVER EVER EVER EVER GIVE UP ON PEOPLE! I would consider myself a damned fool if I ever gave up on someone. I don't give up on people not because they deserve it or not, not because I am thick headed, not because I am a hopeless romantic, not because I hope to be right, not because I cannot let go, because my FAITH is stronger than anything else! It's the best bullet proof armor I have. I love people, and my love for people will never die within me. I'm like the kid in the movie The Polar Express. I still hear that little bell ringing when no one else can. People may think I'm crazy, but I KNOW it's ringing, and I hear it. So I ask of all of you, don't give up on people. Because sometimes, that's all someone needs, ONE person to believe in them when no one else will.  (BOWS)

Yours in service,
MASTER A TRENTO