Give Yourself a Break!!

"Sometimes the journey towards our goals passes through these stages where it seems like nothing is really taking place. We feel stuck, we might feel like nothing is happening to advance our progress. It’s often in these times that the greatest changes are taking place. So much of this process is about what goes on with us on the inside, and while we stare anxiously in the mirror for evidence of the physical changes, it’s actually what is happening on the inside that is the most powerful. Each day that we find it within ourselves to Kickbox we are building discipline, inner strength, perseverance and our ability to dedicate ourselves to things that really matter. Fat loss, toned muscles and all of they physical rewards of our daily training are really just the by-products of having the inner fortitude to stick it out day in day out. This inner power that we develop has the ability to touch every area of our lives, and the confidence it can lend each of us is truly just as trans-formative as all of the amazing physical results we experience together. Think about your strength today during each of the reps and feel the drive of your movements from the inside out – it’s there where your true power rests."

-Master Kevin Balon, 7th Degree Black Belt

My mentor, Master Kevin Balon, who is a 7th Degree Black Belt and will be the one to test me for my 4th Degree Black Belt test this upcoming year, posted this on one of his Facebook pages. The lesson here is awesome and hits a chord for me. Although he is talking about Kickboxing training, I see it as overall training and sometimes just basic life decisions.

He is absolutely right. Sometimes we go through these times where we feel that we are just standing still in the same spot. My old master taught me, even when you stand still, you are falling behind because everyone else is still stepping forward, creating more distance. When it comes to our goals, and Lord knows I have many, there are many times where I feel like nothing is getting done. Or not enough is getting done. And I get mad. Mad at the process, mad at myself, mad in general.

But I also have to give myself a BREAK. Because, and we all do this, we forget to take a step back and look in from the outside and see that we really DO accomplish a lot more than we think or give ourselves credit for, even in the time allotment we had! My other mentor, Lisa, I know sometimes will get moments where she will feel weak or vulnerable because of her new knee. However, she had the surgery end of July and has been walking without a cane, crutch, of wheelchair when she thought she may need the crutch till December, she goes up and down stairs, and stands for long periods of time. She healed ten times faster than she or anyone expected! And it's only been a few short months. 

My other mentor Charlene will have moments like this as well. She will feel like so much time has gone by and she just wants to hide from the stress, and get angry over certain circumstances in her life, and she can never do enough for her five children. But once she takes a step back, she sees she is doing a fantastic job for her family and her children know that mom loves 'em! And there's nothing more rewarding than your own child's praise for your accomplishments!

I did this when I opened my school. I did in it 16 months, which is not that long at all. But during the time it felt like forever and nothing was progressing and improving, but in reality so many things were happening that lead to it's fruition, and I was too blind at the time to see it. We cannot condition ourselves to perceive as not enough, but to perceive things happening in abundance.

Yes, I often feel stuck in my life. Some areas I really am. But I always begin with the end in mind. I never know the how's, and that I WILL. And everything I say I do, I do. Not because I get what I want and am selfish, but because I believe strongly in something and never give up. Time is an illusion and things happen when they must, while we still put in the effort to bring them to life. 

Master Balon also points out, even though we don't see things on the outside, does not mean nothing is happening on the inside. And that is SOOO true! When I first started this blog, I did it to keep myself accountable to living the life of a master on my journey to becoming a master. My mission was the accomplish things and be happy despite any circumstances that I found myself in. Well I have come SUCH a long way since I started in July, and I should really acknowledge it all. And the goals and strides I wanted to make in my training is another view I must take.

I have learned all these new forms, sparring once again, and so many new levels in my mental and spiritual training, its so overwhelming! And those great changes and progress I am making is all on the inside of me. And it's the Qi inside that affects everything I do on the outside. Those are the things as Master Balon says "we are building discipline, inner strength, perseverance and our ability to dedicate ourselves to things that really matter." And he is absolutely right! And I am getting ready to make big strides. Next month is the last month of my fall training cycle. And I'm really going to pick up my game even more. Time to get serious. 

The next six months from January to June is my last training cycle and are my last six months as a 3rd Degree Black Belt. I am going to be in full swing with my training just as I was a couple years ago, and then skyrocketing everything together. A lot of work, a lot of time, but making things happen on the way. ON the inside, and on the outside.

Yours in service,

ANDREW TRENTO

The Toxic CD

Four years ago, when I taught at my old martial arts school, I used to teach not only the martial arts classes but I got to teach some of the fitness classes as well. And whenever I taught a very heavy, difficult class, or when I did a major warm up or conditioning class for the martial arts students, there was one CD I used to ALWAYS use. It was a very fast CD with a few songs that really had an upbeat sound and whenever I played the CD, the students knew they were in trouble.

The first song on the playlist was a version of Britney Spear's song Toxic. The second they heard the first beat of the song, the kids were roll their eyes and exclaim "OH NO" because they knew they were in for a helluva workout! Well one of the things I missed when I left my old school three years ago was that very CD. When I began teaching at the gym, I only had one Cd I always would use until Charlene gave me a few and then I was able to make copies from other trainers, etc. I actually had a Michael Jackson one I used to use and a friend of mine got it on Itunes and burned me a CD of it.

When she did that, I thought maybe, just maybe I could find that old Toxic CD. That's not what it was called, but these workout CDs have no real names and there have several volumes, like 40 or 70 per. I remember being in my apartment, Googling and researching, trying to find this CD. I had no luck. I tried for a very long time looking for this CD. Some other songs in there were You're So Vain, Mad World, Footloose, etc. It's been three years, and I still could not find this CD.

But I know the law of attraction! And I was going to put energy into finding this CD. I kept saying and verbalizing to everyone who knew of my little quest to finding the Toxic CD "I WILL find this CD." Well it's over a year and a half after I opened TMAFC and I still couldn't find it. Well a few weeks ago, for no particular reason at all, I began looking for the CD again. It has been four years since I have used this CD. I then put myself to the test. I told everyone that I WAS going to find and get this CD and when they heard TOXIC that they knew they were in trouble!

Well lo and behold, I found the CD after a few days! I had the name of it, the playlist was exactly what I remembered, so I looked further into how to buy it. I went on Amazon.com and it was sold out. Then I found the manufacturer site and couldn't find it, called them up and they told me it was discontinued. I could not find it used anywhere, then I found an Italian site where I could buy it from Italy but was afraid it'd be in Italian. So I then found it being sold at a United Kingdom site, but they wouldn't ship to the United States!

So I told my friend Dawn about this progress and my challenges in finding the Toxic CD. She has been doing kickboxing with me for the longest time and remembers when I used to use that CD. When I told her about the U CD, she told me she has a cousin who lives there and maybe HE can buy it and send it to us! A SOLUTION! LOVE IT! I was so excited and it looked as if the cousin could do it. But when it took so long, he called up and found out that is became sold out and was credited back his money -____-. SO back to the drawing board. but the beauty of having people who want things to happen as bad as you, you gain good energy!

Dawn kept looking on and she found the CD on Amazon.uk! She thought, Ah what the heck! She bought it and supposedly it was sent. We kept our fingers crossed. I would bust her chops every day and ask if it came in yet. Her favorite song on the CD was Mad World and she told me she would say it was a mad world the day it comes in. Well last week Dawn came in and before I came could even bust her chops she said "It's gonna be a mad MAD world today!!!" She had the CD! After four years of looking, I had the Toxic CD in MY school once again to use. Well I played it for my kickboxing class that very night, and it brought back so many memories from year ago. I could imagine myself in my old school doing some of those old drills....its amazing how I felt like I was in those very moments.

What was really surreal was that I was hearing these songs in what was now my very own school. How funny things play out. I know it's silly, but using the law of attraction to bring this CD back into my life also attracted some good memories. And those memories have a good feel to them which will help bring forth new memories in a much better place. =D

Yours in service,
ANDREW TRENTO

Thank You Very Much

Uncle Tony at an Elvis Tribute concert in Jersey City

"A live concert is exciting for me because of all the electricity that is generated in the crowd and on the stage. It is my favorite part of the business, live concerts."

-Elvis Presley, King of Rock

Almost thirty years ago, my Uncle Tony has been doing an Elvis tribute concert with my mother and my aunts. My mother, Uncle Tony, and their friend Annie all graduated high school together, and my aunt graduated a little later. But they all sang together in the Saddle Brook High School choir and select choir known as the Choraleers, under the direction of Chuck Broadhurst.

In the mid eighties, they began this Elvis tribute song, and have used a band named Sandy and the Wanderer's until later working with a band called Bill Turner and Blue Smoke. Bill Turner played for Billy Haley and the Comets and their trumpet player played with Elvis in his last tour. So you have a plethora of talent in this great show! And I had the privilege of growing up with these Elvis Shows. Each show is different but full of energy. They are fun, high energy, and you have such a great time! I used to want to share all these shows with anyone and everyone I could! They meant a lot to me growing up, and still do to this day. I could never get tired of seeing one of these shows, and I am their biggest fan. I always love watching my mother and aunts singing, and I think my uncle is even better than Elvis and not just because he's my uncle!

Well I did just that last night. I reserved a table for eight of us and brought a group of people to this show and we just had a fantastic time. We were thinking of doing it as a fundraiser at my school and I anted them to see a show. If we don't do it as a fundraiser, well we got a hell of a night out of it! We kept dancing and moving, just having so much fun. Because that is exactly what this show is: FUN! And whether there are 2 people in the audience of 200, my Uncle Tony gives you 100% energy no matter what, and I learned to do that when I teach my own classes. Whether I have 2 or 20, I give that same 100% energy!

My Uncle Tony is a very Christian man who had a near death experience when he was very young. He has always lived his life full of love and compassion in the name of Jesus Christ, and recently as ordained as a deacon in the Christian faith. How many deacons do you know that will shake their hips like he does? LOL! But what people have to know mot about my Uncle Tony is that he is one of the kindest, loving men to walk this earth. It is always a privilege to watch him perform, but even a greater privilege to have him as my Uncle. Besides his own family, I have always been the biggest fan. Thanks Uncle Tony! And God bless!

Yours in service,

ANDREW TRENTO

The Carousel

My Grandma Cyn turned 83 years old on Sunday! She is in fantastic shape! You would think she is 15-20 years younger the way she lives her life! She drives, goes up and down stairs, watches horror films till two in the morning, and she is an awesome Grandma. I can write an entire book on my Grandma Cyn, and am thinking about doing that seriously. Most people who know me know ALL my Grandma Cyn stories, to the point where they think they actually met her.

I tell stories about her that I know of, even if I wasn't around or born! Why? Because they capture the true essence of wonderful life of my grandmother! A lot of laughs, she is like my real-life Lucy. And then my favorite aunt, her daughter, the famous (or infamous, depending on the day =P) Aunt Karen. When the two of them are together, you wish you had a tape recorder because you just can't re-enact the conversations and situations properly. Very much like The Golden Girl's Dorothy and Sophia.

Well here is the latest story! ON her birthday Sunday, Aunt Karen and Grandma went to the Christmas Tree Shop store, and Grandma found this spice carousel of ten spices. She really wanted, remembered hers was wobbly and thought "Oooh! I'm gonna get this!" and she put it in her carriage. When Aunt Karen saw, she said "NO, put it back!" Grandma argued she wanted it and that she can't tell her what to do. Aunt Karen continued her argument, "You don't need it!" Grandma insisted that hers at home was wobbly and she needed to replace it.

"You're not buying it, because I AM NOT RETURNING IT!" Aunt Karen argued she only would use three of the ten spices. Grandma said, at least five. Then Grandma said "Well if you don't let me buy it, my daughter-in-law (my mother) will let me!" Aunt Karen responds "No she won't! I won't let her! I'm gonna tell her no! I'll kick her ass!" SO finally Grandma put it back and was so annoyed she threw her carriage aside, mumbled how she won't need it since she won't buy it.

Well Grandma's annoyance with Aunt Karen continued on the car ride to their lunch and then back at Aunt Karen's house, the cabinet doors were open in her kitchen and Grandma accidentally hit her head on one of the doors. She was even more annoyed that she kept them open, and Aunt Karen explained, apologetically that she wasn't finished putting dishes away. Then out of no where Grandma said "That's because I didn't buy that carousel!" Comedic timing at it's best maybe?

After the competition I went home where the birthday party was taking place. I heard this story which took all of five minutes to hear. But the topic of the carousel went on for the rest of the night in the most comedic way possible. Aunt Karen would ask, "Can I have another piece of pizza, honey?" Grandma would chime in "If I had my carousel I could offer you pepper." Or, "I bought this shirt just for ten dollars!" and Grandma would say "You know, this carousel my daughter wouldn't let me buy was $9.99!"

Every time she brought up with her jabs, We would just burst into laughter. ALL OF US. It got to the point where I would bring it up out of no where just to get that reaction because it was just soooooo funny. We would finish one conversation, then Grandma would come out of no where saying "SO! This carousel....blah blah blah" and Aunt Karen would bust out laughing. Then she pointed at another table "Ma, those people really want to talk to you, go over there why don't ya? Go ahead!" Then the obscene gestures came, and it only added to the good nature of the "ha Ha" of this damn carousel story.

Then the other family members were asking, "Why didn't you just let her buy it?" And Aunt Karen stood up and stamped her foot and said "Because when she dies and leaves the damn thing to me, I am going to throw the damn thing out the window!" Then Grandma says "All I know is, I am going to heaven and the carousel is going with me!" The laughs continued! It was like watching a whole comedy routine being played out. All we did was laugh at the back and forth jabs. I am laughing out loud just typing it.

Thanksgiving Day, I made a few stops I do every year and I got home where Aunt Karen and Grandma Cyn were already there. What were they talking about? You guessed it. This damn carousel! The entire night! By the end of the night, Grandma Cyn is describing the carousel to someone and my mother walks in and begins crying laughing, holding her stomach, "You're still talking about this carousel?!" But the topic just never got old for us. And neither did the entertainment that came with it.

My Grandma Cyn has always brought a lot of laughter into our lives. Her life is an open book because I make it that way. I share Grandma with everyone whether they meet her personally or not, because the laughter in her life is what has kept her so young. And I am so glad Aunt Karen didn't let her buy this carousel, because I'd miss out on another Grandma Cyn story to tell!

Grandma Cynthia Trento

Yours in service,
ANDREW TRENTO

Thanksgiving

"It is our wish on this Thanksgiving day that you take a moment to look at all you have and know deep in your heart that it is enough.The fact that you can read this message, enjoy good food, listen to the stories of friends and family and take in the deep aroma of a delicious meal means that you are truly living, and for that we all should be thankful. So enjoy this and every day as if it is your last, so that the true joy of family and friends will remain in your heart each day that you live...With love..."

-Sifu Pedro Cepero Yee

This was the text message sent to me from the person I will be calling master after my 4th Degree Black Belt test. Sifu set the tone for today's holiday. He reminds us what we are truly supposed to be thankful for: LIFE. Life is a gift. And to use our senses to experience Life is ALSO a gift. If we are able to use the eyes God has given us to read this very blog, the ears to hear our loved ones' laughter and words, to smell delicious food that we all devoured today, we can experience things in Life that bring us joy.

Nothing should ever be expected and nothing should ever be taken for granted. Your family who loves you. Your friends who are extensions of your family should be treated like gold every time you come in contact with them, and cherish every moment you share wit them. They are beacons of light for you in times of darkness, and we must always be grateful for the light we have in our lives.

Always acknowledge the wonderful things in your life and allow gratitude to fill up your heart! And remember to be thankful even for the little things. I am very thankful for having my school go into it's second year, I am thankful for wonderful students and parents who support my school, I am thankful for my family whom I share life with, I am thankful for the friends who have been with me in the most difficult times and the most joyous times, and I am grateful for the mentors helping reach the next stage of my life. And today, during my cardio class in the morning, I made sure my BE THANKFUL candle was burning!

"If you concentrate on finding what is good in every situation, you will discover that your life will suddenly be filled with gratitude, a feeling that nurtures the soul."

-Professor Lisa Sargese

 

 

Yours in service,

ANDREW TRENTO

My New Form

My old master taught me traditional Taekwondo forms. The traditional Taekwondo forms are very nice looking forms, full of detail and great technique. He taught me eleven color belt forms and six Black Belt forms. That was in ten years of training. When I left my old master, I had to tech myself my on forms. I felt it was a skill I was trained to do, and a task a true master would be able to do. Seven months after we went separate ways I tested for 3rd Degree Black Belt. In traditional Taekwondo (ITF), the Black Belts know several forms for their rank.

At the time I was a 2nd Degree Black Belt. A 2nd Degree Black Belt knows 4 forms and I only knew three. So I taught myself the fourth 2nd Degree form, Juche. The original instructions to this form created by General Choi was very difficult to figure out. I had the papers and the directions went by letters like A,D,C,B,CD,AD, angles etc. Walking stance was front stance, L-stance was back stance, etc. I felt like an archeologist translating ancient runes. 

After my 3rd Degree test, I taught myself eight Olympic forms and the 1st Degree and 2nd Degree Black Belt Olympic forms. Then over time I taught myself a different Olympic style of another eight forms. On my own I taught myself eighteen Olympic Taekwondo forms and a 2nd Degree traditional form. I really felt like I got the hang f it. But I also found, when training with Master Balon, that some of the forms taught to me by my old master was wrong! I couldn't believe it. As great as my old master was with details, he still managed to screw up the style! And I am VERY picky when it comes to my details, I go very much by the book.

But I also had to learn three 3rd Degree Black Belt forms, and I was going to learn them on my own. After my 3rd Dan test I taught myself the first form called Sam Il. I learned, trained myself to have the memorization inside and out, and cleaned up the details greatly. This was all while I was teaching myself those other Olympic forms. Then in my second year I learned the second form called Yoo Sin, a much more difficult, yet very cool looking form. Then that is when I taught myself those newer Olympic forms, and just recently did I learn my 3rd Degree Olympic form, which was quite simple, to be honest.

Well today while training with Robert I decided since I had him with me, maybe he could give me a hand in learning my last 3rd Degree form, Choi Yong. Well Robert got to see exactly what I had to do to learn all those other forms. I had the papers out, and I began translating movement names to the ones I use, stances to the stances I call them, A's and B's to lefts and rights, redundancy and long winded descriptions of movements ot the simple movement names, then practicing it in parts, creating the parts and patterns as if I were teaching it, crossing out words, inserting descriptions, making notes ot help for memorization or teaching purposes, etc.

Robert said exactly how I felt three years ago: It's like watching an archeologist reading hieroglyphics! But I did it! I was always able to learn a form rather quickly and took great pride in that. This was no different. And once I finished learning it, it dawned on me-- this is the last form I needed to learn before my 4th Degree Black Belt test! I have them all now. Eleven color belt traditional forms, three 1st Degree ITF forms, four 2nd Degree ITF forms, three 3rd Degree ITF forms, sixteen Olympic forms, and three Olympic Black Belt forms. It's getting closer, and I am beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Yours in service,
ANDREW TRENTO

Properly Berated

"You are accountable for your actions, your decisions, your life; no one else is, but you." 

-Catherine Pulsifer

I am used to always being the one to hold other people accountable. I always help others when they say they want to achieve goals or certain aims in life. I am bluntly honest, and am very direct. I do the very best to do the same for myself, but there is only so much you can do for yourself. And often times in my life, I would say to myself, "I wish I had someone to do for me what I do for others!" Well I am so grateful I have JUST that now.

I have blogged about and complained about certain food addictions I have that I want to break away from so badly. I eat certain things as an emotional way of nurturing myself, and I overeat it, and I have caused my own body pain due to these things I eat. And recently, when eating these things, I have absolutely NO will power whatsoever. So when I am failing myself, I get not only angry and upset with myself, I get depressed, and my body responds. I don't wake up, I lag, I drag, I do not function. 

So I had myself hypnotized and have done AWESOME! I have not had ONE cookie....wait, that is a lie, I took a bite out of one in the last month and think I couldn't even swallow it, my body and mind totally rejected it. I was happy! I ate my apple with peanut butter and was beyond content! And PROUD of the fact I didn't have to fight a temptation because there WERE no temptations to fight! And then will follows with each success. However, I had a lapse a few days ago, and I didn't even realize it.

One of those foods that I was addicted to were bagels. I was so addicted to bagels, I knew ALL my bagel places in the area and I had no problem overeating them. Charlene would make me aware that they do count as 3-5 servings of carb for one bagel, which is not very healthy. She always told me they are on the worst things you can have, especially by the way they are made. She helped me ween off of them by doing whole wheat and scooped before I can get off bagels. Then after the trauma of this year, bagels found their way back into my life. I could have two a day, and one of my most favorite breakfasts were taylor ham, egg, and cheese with salt, pepper, and ketchup on a bagel. -____-

Well after my hypnosis I was great. This past Sunday at the competition, I saw someone eating a bagel and I was like "OH! Bagel...." and was told I could have one. It was one of the students' birthdays and instead of having brownies, I could have a bagel. That was the thought, but the suggestions that were put in my mind from hypnosis was telling me otherwise, and I went a little more than three hours of subconsciously just choosing NOT to have the sesame bagel. I did not realize I was making excuses. However, I have only had one hypnosis session, and my will power was weakening from hearing all the "But you gotta eats" and "You should really have somethings" and my mind making it seem like this gift was a better option than the brownie. I was hypnotized to stay away from those sweets and I was leaning toward the bagel.

Well I gave in. I ate the sesame bagel. It took me a while to finish, because my body was reacting. And I did have a physical reaction. The depression came over me, I was beginning to become very tired, even when we went out later, I slept at 7:30pm and STILL struggled the next morning. The physical response was there. But the best part of this action....I did it in front of my mentor Lisa. And what I didn't even think twice about, was a VERY big deal to her.

She came to the school the following day, and did what a mentor should: she "schooled" me. She acknowledged she understands the accepting of gifts, but took the eating the bagel in front of her as a sign of defiance. I don't agree, but I definitely understand her position. Understanding food addictions herself, and the importance of changing one's behavior to fight these temptations because we WANT a better life, she properly berated me. You may think "But it was only once!" or maybe you think "Oh he can cheat once in a while." But Lisa knows better, and she is ABSOLUTELY right! It is not acceptable at all. And she nipped the issue right away, not allowing much time to go at all! She made me aware and was bluntly honest and direct.

I sat with my head low, knowing I was a bad boy....and I couldn't be happier. It may sound crazy to you, but do you know how happy I am to have someone do that for me. I always was the one to do it for other people and there is only so much you can do for the self. But here I had a mentor doing EXACTLY what I wanted and needed: MENTORING! She held me accountable. And after the lesson there was a test! She put a little white bag in front of me and I opened it. What was in there? A sesame bagel. "You do what you wish now with it." The choice was mine to make, as a good mentor and friend would do. To allow the choice to be mine. I am thanked her so much and resisted the temptation. I passed the test. 

Not many people can appreciate what I had just experienced yesterday. But I am SO grateful for that. We should all allow ourselves to have those people to hold ourselves accountable and point out the things we need. The same way that girl at the deli next door would not let me buy the black and white cookie! A stranger was in on holding myself accountable! Lisa provided the lesson and the test with strong and direct feedback and then the opportunity to make a choice, because it did have to be MY choice. And she put in my mind, it is okay to make mistakes and that will be a mistake I will NOT make again. I liked the way she provided the lesson. It's something my old master would have done. Which makes me appreciate the lesson even more.

Yours in service,

ANDREW TRENTO

What are the Standards?

"In the end, it’s extra effort that separates a winner from second place. But winning takes
a lot more that that, too. It starts with complete command of the fundamentals. Then it
takes desire, determination, discipline, and self-sacrifice.
And finally, it takes a great deal
of love, fairness and respect for your fellow man. Put all these together, and even if you
don’t win, how can you lose?"
-Jesse Owens

I brought my competition team to their third tournament for the season. It was their first TRADITIONAL Taekwondo tournament. The first two we went to were Olympic style. Olympic Taekwondo sparring is more physically demanding than traditional Taekwondo sparring. In Olympic Taekwondo sparring, you are sparring for several minutes at a time, a lot of kicks and leg work, a lot more endurance required, and the skill of your technique balanced with your speed and agility. Traditional Taekwondo is a lot more controlled, and you are allowed to use punches and they stop at every point they think they see. It is very much like the Japanese style of Karate and Korean art of Tang Soo Do.

Just like Daniel Larusso in The Karate Kid the first person to score three points wins, where in Olympic sparing, you get as many point as you can by hitting the chest protector (hogu). Traditional you don't need to where a chest protector. So in the opinion of many, almost down to a fact, Olympic sparring is better than traditional sparring. 

HOWEVER, the traditional forms are MUCH better than the Olympic forms. The traditional forms, which I teach, have great detail and impressive movements. The patterns are challenging and the techniques are deep and graceful. The Olympic style forms are very choppy and robotic, and don't have as much style in them. So I teach the better of both styles and keep the not so great for extra. So the first two competitions I brought my students to were Olympic style Taekwondo and they are good to first time competitors to get the experience. The competition is very challenging for the ones who do sparring. Forms team did amazing and always placed.

But the forms team needed to be challenged. So I remember this traditional Taekwondo (ITF) tournament I used to go to when I was a kid. I knew the forms competition was going to be really tough, and it was just what the forms team people needed. And yet, the sparring team would get a little shell shocked because the sparring is TOTALLY different! None of them have ever done this before and it would be a great experience to get under their belts, no pun intended.

When we got there, they could see exactly how it was different already. No mats, hard wood floor with red tape to create rings, five judges using hand gestures, writing out the scores, and very VERY picky with the forms. But not only traditional Taekwondo was competing, but Tang Soo Do, another Korean art, and a few Japanese Karate forms. They were surprised to see other schools doing low stances, loud kias, sharp kick and movements; they really had to step up their game if they wanted to place. Some of the kids didn't place, and some first place students got third place this time. It's good for them! They need to know that they can't expect to do what they keep doing and expect the rewards to fall into their lap. They mus continue to work hard and raise their standards in their training, as these judges were VERY picky.

I was not allowed to coach my students at all this time. That is being traditional for you. But then something happened that I noticed when they began the Black Belt divisions. The judging and standards were conveniently changing. Of course all the instructors knew each other here, and they of course wanted their Black Belts to win. I was asked to judge in a ring for one of the Black Belt divisions, and two of my students happened to be in the ring I was judging for, which they did not mind. I made them aware right away, but they thought I'd judge fairly. Which I did.

But that is not how I felt about them. Usually if a Black Belt does a lower belt form, and I mean several ranks lower, I don't care how strong the form is, several points are taken away from that. One student I judged did a form four levels down from his rank, his stances weren't that low, and NO kias at all. They are there for a reason. Then another boy went, and his technique was not as strong as the other one, but he did a much higher ranking form, did the stances, and did the kias. He should have obviously received more points. Now I have been doing this for 15 years and am a certified coach and know all the rules of both styles of Taekwondo. I called out my score first, then the other two called theirs. I was shocked to hear how high they would score.

At first I felt I was being too hard, then I noticed how much their scores varied. I was not pleased. But unlike Olympic Taekwondo, there is NO challenging of the center referee and judge's call and final say, let alone I am not allowed to coach. I then watched the adult divisions, and one master who was refereeing came all the way up from south Jersey, quite a long ways. The other masters were praising him earlier in the day for a well run competition he does down south. Right away, favoritism was being shown for his students, and you saw it. But even more so, when this master was judging himself, he was barely watching the sparring matches himself unless it was his own people. So MANY points that could have been scored were not because he just claimed he saw a clash, or no point at all!

That was a shame to witness. Robert said that this school reminded him of the Cobra Kai from The Karate Kid. I chuckled because the way they carried themselves and the black uniforms (although mine is Black too lol) did remind me a great deal of the Cobra Kai. My 18 year old Black Belt made it to the Grand Championship for her form and did phenomenal. But the defending champion, from this same school performed the same form, and made four mistakes. She did the low block before the high block, same hand for the backfist twice which you're not supposed to do, she did not start and end on the same point which they were very picky about for the traditional forms, and the diagram of a straight line (which was fr this form) was not followed. Yet they scored her much higher.

Nepotism. Oh well. It happens. It's part of the experience. I am glad the students got challenging forms competition, and the sparring team experienced a completely new style that could help them in different ways on Olympic sparring. But I am also glad they got the life experience that sometimes things are done unfairly and we must always show great sportsmanship no matter what, which each and every one of my students did, and I am so proud of them. They always represent so well, and I do not care about the awards, but the experience they get, how they represent, and them doing their best is what makes it all rewarding in the end!

Yours in service,
ANDREW TRENTO

Happiness

"Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulders..."

-Thoreau

I read some of my first few blogs from July, and I was very motivated and determined. But at the same time, I was very depressed and unsure. I dealt with a lot of trauma and changes this year, a lot of hurt, and felt stuck. I look at where five months has gotten me. I am very happy. This is my check point.

When a leader moves forward with their lives, so does everyone else. I have made great strides to moving forward and have had a lot of success at doing it. I said I would compete again, I did two competitions. I said I would work with my mental training mentor, Lisa, and I have. I said I would get onto a routine, I am building. I said I would make a competition team at TMAFC, I have. I said I wanted to learn newer forms, and I have. 

Whenever I say I would do something, I have always done it. I don't give myself enough credit on that sometimes. It may even come as a comfort if I were to remember that when taking the right steps. But you wanna know what the greatest part of moving forward is? Being happy about it =) . The feelings that come along with it.

Last week, I had an awesome sparring match, met with a mentor, had a surprise visit and gift from my soon-to-be master on the anniversary of my schism with the old, I had a few challenges along the way but have responded well and found solutions, this makes me happy. Now this week I have taught, what I believe, have been some pretty awesome classes. As I get better in my training, and I continue to learn so do my students. Children, teenagers, and adults like. I am confident in what I know and portray it in a way where others benefit and hear what I have to say. They see results quicker, they are excited about the progress or direction they are going. That is what it is all about.

But energy. Phew! ENERGY! Such a real thing. To build up the energy in this school, it is absolutely amazing. I had a group of students practice for their competition this Sunday (which I am too old to do -__-) and the energy was amazing. Not only their working out, but their comradeship. They were supportive, they were helping each other out, they were kidding around with each other, they were having fun while working hard! OPTIMUM BALANCE! I couldn't have been more proud. The day before that, two of my teenage boys were working out together (on their own account--admirable sigh), and when I did the ending game with the kddies, they jumped in with them to help out, having just as much fun. GOOD ENERGY! It was family.

I tear up, like the little baby I am, because I remember three years ago when this was just an idea. Just a picture in my head. I had six die-hards that worked with me three times a week for 6 hours, in HOPE we one day will have a school to do it in, like everyone else. I take a step back like I did yesterday and the day before, and here are a few of them enjoying the company of these "newbies" sharing good Qi and it overflowing with a group of 13 children. It is still sometimes so surreal. It is almost like it used to be...almost...a few nicks and crannies to work out...and then it'll be even BETTER!!!

When we work hard at being happy, it runs away and avoids us. When we focus on just what we need to do and let ourselves move forward, then happiness finds us when we least expect it. I did say, a true master can find happiness, despite the circumstances and that is what I shall do. I said that five months ago, remember? Well guess what. I'm feeling pretty damn happy =D. (BOWS)

Yours in service,

ANDREW TRENTO

Breaking Tradition Hurts

With making great strides to moving forward also comes the "firsts" of change. This year has been the biggest lieu of changes in my life for many different reasons. One reason would be me ready to enter a new phase of my life, another reason by choice to progressing to new heights and goals, other reasons due to new training, and other reasons are due to trauma.

The trauma, as I will call it for lack of a better word for now, created a great wave of changes because there are conditions that have been overturned that have been present all of my life. Beliefs, likes, interests, tastes, etc. Something I used to do with those beliefs, likes, interests, and tastes would be to create traditions that would allow me to continue "seasonally" the things that bring me joy and pleasure.

With these changes comes the breaking of traditions. I have already gone through breaking a few "newer" traditions. But what is killing me is breaking some of the older ones. I have no desire to do some of them. People tell me I should try to overcome some of the pain that came with doing the things I once enjoyed. Easier said than done.

Lisa has gotten me on the right path to taking and organizing my pictures like I used to, dubbed and ripped off a little the name of Photo Project Omega. Updating my ipod with music or downloading movies, these are little steps of very BIG things for me. But I LOVE watching movies, and yet since my trauma I really cannot sit through an entire movie at all. I LOVED TV Shows, one in particular and never finished was Friends. I used to cook macaroni every Sunday. I, myself, really have not made any sauce like I used to, nor with friends like I would. It was some of my most favorite times.


Right now, the movie Eat, Pray, Love is on and a man said Americans know entertainment, but they do not know pleasure! They work too hard, they beat themselves up, burn themselves out, only to sit in their pajamas all weekend in front of the TV. HAHAHAHAHHA! Not too far off. But I used to be an exception to that notion, because I knew pleasure. It was full of love in everything I did. And traditions were important to me.

Last year I watched the Grammy's with Kristin, and we had a very nice night. But it was the first time I watched it without another friend of mine, due to circumstances I could not control. This past Halloween, we could not see each other either, for the first time in I think 5 years. It was the big "OOOh!!" hurt. Next comes Thanksgiving. I always spent time with this friend either ON or the day before Thanksgiving. I don't know how to get around this this year. And on Christmas Eve this year, I have the same dilemma. And it hurts like hell.

There is the Holiday concert where I will go sing with the alumni as I do every year since I graduated. I'm apprehensive rather than excited about it. And it is something I SO love to do. Yet I have this swishing feeling in my stomach because of what has changed this year. The Academy Awards I watch every year, and yet I want to forget they even show this year. The breaking of tradition really hurts. And every new years I am with of my most favorite family's house with a friend, and I don't know how I will be ending this year and opening a new one.

My birthday....I don' even want to talk about that one. But I celebrated my last birthday and my friends know I will be beyond angry if it is celebrated or wished. It is not denying I am getting older, it is a day I never really enjoyed nor got excited about, and the two that I really loved, tainted. No more birthdays, I am very sound in that decision.

I do not watch football. But I ALWAYS celebrated the Super Bowl. For five years, Robert and I have done Super Bowl. I always had a party for it, made macaroni, we ordered or made wings, but last year my trauma that has left me so scarred happened on Super Bowl Sunday. So much died in me that day, and Robert was with me that day still (powerhouse of friendship, he is) and I really do not think I can do it this year. He thinks I can, I don't. It is breaking of a long tradition between us, but can I face the pain that comes with it. By the way, side note: Super Bowl lst year just HAPPENED to be my old masters birthday. Coincide-ance?

SO breaking traditions hurt, and during holiday times, a lot of traditions go on. For me, it is dealing with broken traditions that cause pain, and dealing with some that I MAY do and it will hurt like hell. We shall see how spirit guides me, and how spirit will protect me. Let's see what I am truly made of.

Yours in service,
ANDREW TRENTO

Appropriate Ignorance?

A couple of months ago, I had written a blog post about ignorance. Ignorance is probably the one thing I can say that I absolutely loath beyond belief. A quote I heard from watching the old TV show The Facts of Life, Geri Warner said "Questions don't hurt, ignorance does." After her cousin Blair got all embarrassed for Tooty asking all these questions about Geri's cerebral palsy, Geri didn't mind answering any questions and was open about her handicap.

I have always been one of those blunt people to just go out in the open and ask any question that I have on my mind. People would like at me and be like "What is WRONG with you!?" as if asking such a question was a sin! But you'd be surprised how much people appreciate blunt honesty of someone asking a question about something because they don't know something. I have tried very hard to live by this: If I don't know what I am talking about, I keep my mouth shut, because silence can be the best answer. But if I don't know something, I better ask about it so I can properly act or speak.

In my last blog about ignorance, I talked about how ignorance hurts. And boy does ignorance hurt. When people just act and behave completely based on what they THINK they know and it is completely false. That goes to making judgments and holding grudges. When people go out of their way to act in a particular way against someone based on false accusations or distorted opinions, it hurts. I am a victim of that, many of us have been at one time or another. And we need to make sure we treat others the way we wanted to be treated.

HOWEVER! I am finding with most lessons that there is sometimes a time and place, for even the things we dislike. Ignorance being one of them. There is a saying "Ignorance is bliss." I don't like that saying, nor do I agree with it, but I do feel that there very well may be certain times where ignorance may be appropriate. For example, if keeping yourself or others ignorant to an opinion or occurrence will keep peace in a situation, or keep relationships, whether it be with family or friends, alive, then I guess it would be appropriate.

Many would argue that this goes against the notion of wearing a mask and living a lie. Let me clarify. Wearing a mask and living a lie is going through day to day life pretending to feel a certain way, being miserable and acting happy (or vice versa, believe it or not), not being who you truly are, not acting like yourself, and not doing the things that make you YOU. Wearing these masks prevent you from being who you truly are and CAN be, as well as manifesting negativity within you. It hurts, plain and simple.

Keeping yourself ignorant or other ignorant to privy information, as long as it keeps peace and relationships alive does not have the effect of wearing a mask. That is how you can tell when ignorance is appropriate. And the funny part is, ignorance can be the solution to other people's ignorance! Imagine that! Think of the lesson there! And honestly, the more I think about it, that is the base of the lesson. It is appropriate to be ignorant, with the result of keeping peace and relationships alive, when OTHER's ignorant actions and behavior is being painful.

Yours in service,
ANDREW TRENTO

Cat-Like Relflexes to Life

In my old apartment, downstairs lived a cat named Digger. Digger was the most awesome cat in the world! he was the cleanest and smartest cat you could imagine. He would sneak upstairs all the time to see me, and hang out in my apartment. He ALWAYS ran in when I opened the door to walk in. This cat took shower every day, I swear it thought it was a human being!

Living in that apartment, I spend a lot of time with Digger and Digger represented something to me which not many people really realized. Digger represented, for me, strength and stability. Why is that? Because he was a cat. Now, many people who know me and know Digger would probably say, "Wow Trento, that is a real stretch there." Well I have a perfectly good explanation!

If any living thing fell from a great height, they would probably fall onto the ground with a great big THUD or even ricochet off the ground. But not cats. Think about it. When a cat falls from a high distance, how does it land? A cat lands stiff and strong on all four of it's legs. That is how I feel a lot of times. I am like a cat. When I fall, I always land on all fours, strong and stiff. it my hurt at first but I am stable, even if I think I am not.

I miss seeing Digger, but I think about him a lot, and mention him a lot. Don't get me wrong, Sadie is my number one, but Digger meant something in a different part of my life. He taught me how to be a cat when it comes to times in life when you fall. Land on all fours!

Yours in service,
ANDREW TRENTO

Helpless

Yesterday, I worked during the morning, and then worked with my mentor Lisa in the afternoon. That evening I went to Kristin's to babysit her dog, also known as my god-dogger Sadie. To digress after a full day I was asked to go over with a group of my martial artists for an autumn bon fire. Sounds like a great idea! I picked up one of our Black Belt students, had Sadie with me, and we all had a fabulous couple of hours, telling stories, burning broken boards, eating s'more, and laughing.

When we left at 11:30pm, on the way to bringing my Black Belt home, we heard this weird noise. The car was shaking and I couldn't understand why. I puled over and when I opened my door, I couldn't believe how close the ground was to me! You guessed i: flat tire. As flat as a pancake! And the wheel itself as going against the pavement of the street. I could have done some serious damage if I continued to drive. We had no clue how this happened, but all I was concerned abot was how I was going to get her home, and how I was going to get back home with Sadie. By this time a police officer came up and put down a flare for us so people would go around. -____-

I called AAA, and they were going to take an hour and a half to get to us. Sadie is still in the back seat (thank God she is a good dog!), MY Black Belt and I tried getting in touch with her parents but were unsuccessful, I tried calling other Black Belts and friend who could drive and they were either all sleeping or not have their phones. It IS in the middle of the night of course. I couldn't think of anyone else I could call. Anxiety was slowly setting in. No solutions, no answers, other people's responses, the worse case scenarios playing in my head, I was unnecessarily freaking out. There was only one other person that came to mind, but his parents I know would not have let him leave his house. I was trapped.

I felt completely helpless. Feeling helpless was not a good feeling at all. I did not like the feeling of being helpless. I felt weak, I felt vulnerable, I felt pressure having responsibility of my student and my god-dogger with me, I flt nervous for my on ca (I did not have a spare tire), money issues began to formulate in my head, and it was getting close to 1:00 in the morning. Have you ever felt the feeling of being suffocated? That's how I felt.

I then chose to do something with no rhyme or reason. I wanted to use SPIRIT. I chose one of my Black Belts who I had a feeling was still awake, but normally would not see or read texts or answer phone calls this late. I put my hands against my temples, I visualized myself as a spirit and saw myself zoom down the road, make the left, make a right, down the way, left on another street, then a right on another, up the stairs to my Black Belt Frankie. Once I visualized the spirit in the house, I said in my mind clearly and sternly "Frankie, call Mr. Trento." And I said this repeatedly. Twenty seconds later, my phone rings.

It's Frankie. He sensed something, checked his phone, and called me back. Coincide-ance! Gotta love them! He was able to meet me at the autobody shop where the tow truck would be able to take me and my other Black Belt. When the two truck arrived, tey wouldn't let Sadie in the truck with us, I was so upset, I had to leave her in the car. I thought Sadie would get mad at me, be upset being alone in the car, and I kept looing back the rear window to see how she was. She was having a friggin blast -____-. The last time I looked to see her, she was in the driver's seat with her paws on the steering wheel as if she was driving. She thought it was the coolest ride ever.

Finally my Black Belt's parent's were able to pick her up, and Frankie was able to bring me and Sadie back home. I was so grateful that when I asked for help, I was able to receive it. Spirit came through. My Black Belts came through. But I cannot shake off the feeling of being helpless. It was something I really disliked feeling and never want to feel again. but it is a lesson to remind me that we are not always in control of the circumstances we are dealt, but we control our responses to them, and HOPE is always present. Only then came one find the solutions!

Yours in service,
ANDREW TRENTO

An Anniversary to Remember

"We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths. "
-Walt Disney

Today is my three year anniversary since my master and I went our separate ways. I approach the day with a mix of different feelings. I will never forget three years ago today, I can still go through the day in full detail as if it only happened yesterday. I had planned on staying with my old school for years and years to come and nothing ever stopped me from my goals with my school and to continue my training with my master. But my master had his own agenda, and the truth of the matter is, he didn't really care about me.

I always knew this though, when he let Kristin go in 2005. I remember thinking, "What he did to her, he can do to me." People often ask me, even some of my mentors, how did I last that long there? Well partly for my students. As an instructor I had a great sense of obligation for them, especially the ones I taught with Kristin. And two, (I didn't know it at the time) but spirit told me my training was not quite done with my old master. And truly it wasn't, because my new training really set the foundation and gave me a great direction to what was to come later on.

My old master despised how well-liked I was by his clients and how close I was with the families. I also didn't like I was friends with them as well. Some of the students I was only a few years older than anyway, like Robert and Frankie. And I grew up with them as well! So all of a sudden he tried taking these things away from me, and tried controlling my life outside the school. This just so happened after I was living on my own, and another person became qualified to teach classes. Again, timing.

But I made a a choice. A choice I do not regret and I think says a lot about who I am. I know what is right and wrong. And I chose true friendship, my family, over the demands of my master. The students' parents one by one confronted my master and voiced their opposition and told him it wasn't his place. I was so grateful and still am to this day for their support. But he found another way, and created loop holes, stole an email and letter between me and a few others to provide as "proof" I am contacting outside the school and used it s his reasons to let me go. He no longer wanted me as an employee OR a student.

But I did something no one else did (or at least I think)-- I fought. The warrior went to war with the master who thought it was clear cut. I threw everything he ever taught me to his face, and he didn't use ANY of it. I knew he wouldn't, an I knew he wouldn't change his mind. But I had true validation of who he was. When I left, I don't know how I was driving because I was still beyond devastated. I went to my friend Robert's house and I was vry quiet. I am in uniform and they were talking about God only knows what. They just got back from school.

Then finally hey asked me what was on my mind, I was too quiet. I told them very briefly, "I got fired today..." I looked up and saw Briana's face (Robert's sister), that is when I lost it. The first reaction from someone who heard. I will never forget what her face was, and she gave me this big hug, and I sobbed uncontrollably. Not a minute later did their mother come in, she thought someone died. Someone asked Robert how I was that day and I will never forget his answer: "Do you know what it's like seeing the strongest person you know look so vulnerable?"

I of course thought the world was ending. It was my world. my past, present, and future. The thought was unbelievable for me. I was in bed wishing so hard that it was a bad dream, and I never do things like that. But I hoped and prayed. But it was what it was. I only told Robert and his family. Well I was getting phone calls left and right, even from people who I haven't spoken to for years knew the news and the story. I couldn't believe the response and reaction and how far spread the news went. A cumulative of ten years worth of people came out of the wood work to know what happened to Mr. Trento.

Like I said earlier, I do not regret my decision. I chose my family over the wrongful demands of my old master. He had more negative consequences than me anyway in the long run. I look back three years ago today and wow....it is amazing how we think our world just collapses on us. But I look at myself today....I owe my old master the biggest thank you ever. I received my 3rd Degree Black Belt, learned how to start, open up, and run my own business, I am in my second year of running my own martial arts school and fitness center, I am being mentored by the best professionals in all aspects of my training, I am in the competition field again, I learned more forms and styles than I ever did with him, I have my own students who I love so much, and former students have come back to me as well, and I am testing for my 4th Degree Black Belt sooner than if I were with him.

The greatest thing that ever happened to me was leaving my old school and leaving my old master. Don't get me wrong, not a day goes back where I don't think about my old master. He taught me such amazing things, even if he himself could not live it or apply it, he influenced me a great deal, and I am eternally grateful for it. He is attributed for the directions I chose to take. And as Sifu told me yesterday, all masters should be happy and proud that their students took all they can from them and make it something of their own and better! That is what masters should want!

Even if he is a hypocrite and a disappointment, he is the foundation to where I continued to build on top of. So I say today: CHEERS! Happy Anniversary, Sir! And Thanks!

Yours in service,
ANDREW TRENTO

A Master Visit

Me with Sifu Pedro Yee

Spirit has such a funny way of guiding events in your life. Through the attraction of our thoughts, the energy we put into them, and allowing spirit to guide us, the more aware we become of the COINCIDE-ANCES in our lives, and we realize there are no such thing as coincidences.

Tomorrow will be three years since I have been master-less. My master and I went our separate ways three years ago tomorrow, and although it was probably the greatest thing to happen for me and I have had more successes and triumphs with our separation, I cannot help but get a little sad. I loved my master very much, and I had a great deal of respect for him. Most people do not realize the spiritual connection with master and student in martial arts. I trained ten years with him and grew up with him, and the only person to this day whom I have ever called MY master.

I am often reminded of the great teachers and their students that when you hear one's name, you associate the other. My old master and I were kind of like that. I was Master ____'s student. He was Andrew Trento's master. In even fictional things, Obi Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker, Goku and Master Roshi, I really missed having that connection.

The thought even arose in my head of having the master-student connection through martial arts when I was with Master Bardatsos yesterday. Steven Lin has been training with Master Bardatsos for years and years! Since he was just a kid! And I think, wow...I could still be with my old master if he wasn't XYZ. To see how Steven has grown up with Master Bardatsos and having him still as an integral part of his life, I can't help but be a little envious.

Steven Lin as a kid with Master Bardatsos

 My friend John trains under a well known Taekwondo master named Doug Cook, who is the author of three very popular TKD books. I used to follow his work when I was younger. Master Cook to this day trains under and call shis original instructor his MASTER. He has his master come to his own school for testing and seminars, and it is such a privileged to see the lineage of masters still working with each other. Again, I get envious.

Master Cook with his instructor Grandmaster Richard Chun

It is a very personal deal of business with me, whom I will call master once again. Master Balon, Master DeJesus, and Master Bardatsos are all phenomenal masters, but they are my mentors, not my masters. Picky beyond belief, and a need for something brand new, yet the real genuine essence of martial arts. I used to say I cannot and I won't, but I know I was just saying that. But I DID say, perhaps with a brand new art? Well one art I have always wanted to do was Shaolin Kung Fu! The ART of arts! But still, I was going to be picky...until!

Lisa brought me to this Qi-Gong seminar in Clifton at a Kung Fu academy in which we had such an awesome experience and introduced me to spirit energy, where most of my training dealt with thought energy. It was amazing, and I loved the master, Sifu Pedro Yee. He was light hearted, beyond knowledgeable, and humble beyond belief. While I was there in his school that day, I felt amazing energy, and all I could think of was this: I am going to train here. I made a decision that Master Yee will be my new master. Not right away, I must close one end first with this 4th Dan test coming up...once again the topic of TIMING comes up! But you have to understand how HUGE this is for me. I think only the Friars may truly understand the intensity of this decision.

So this morning, I get up and Robert and I are dragging like we've never dragged before. For some reason we just did NOT want to get up. We were so late, it was like, why even bother training at this point? But we still ended up coming to the school. In the middle training, Robert asked me why I have no logo on the back of my uniform. I answered (for the twentieth time to him) tradition states you wear the emblem of your master on your back. So Robert wears my logo on his back. I wear nothing, because I have no master...but when IU train under Sifu Yee, I will have his symbol on my back.

While we did some of our forms, in the middle of training a man was staring into the window....who was it? None other than SIFU!!!! I couldn't believe it! On the day before my three year anniversary of breaking the ties with my old master does my new future master come for a random visit! I have not seen him since the Qi Gong seminar in July, and this was the first time he was in MY dojang! What an honor! It was more like a blessing! He gave me this big hug, smiling and laughing, we talked and talked, enjoying his company and sharing little stories. We then were taking pictures together, it was like me having the biggest celebrity in my school!

Now usually we are always done training by this time, but spirit had different plans. Our spirits premeditated this. What made Sifu turn left onto my street? What made Robert and I late? And the TIMING!!! Robert and I were talking about him not even 10 minutes before! When I told him about tomorrow's three year anniversary, he thought for a moment and said "I wonder..." he bowed off the mats put his shoes on and went to his car. He came back in with what looked like a scroll and he gave me a small banner from his school with his emblem on it saying with a smile "Happy Anniversary!" I teared up. He has no idea what a treasure this was to me, and what it represented.

It was like being given a key for when I am ready to move on. It was a symbol letting go of the old master and acceptance of this wonderful gift from my new one. I was at a loss of words to show my gratitude. But I am sure he felt my energy and knew. With a few choice words of advice before leaving, he gave me another grand hug and we just kept bowing and waving and smiling before he left. It was a HUGE honor and such an awesome visit. It was a sign that a new age is on the horizon...

Yours in service,
ANDREW TRENTO

Time for Sparring!

 

Master DeGeorge, Grand Master Jiho Choi, and Master Bardatsos with Garden State Cup Champions

Kixx Martial Arts Academy in Little Falls, NJ

Today, I went to meet with my sparring mentor, Master Peter Bardatsos. Like in the case of Lisa, Master Bardatsos was one of those people who I have known from the past but had every intention of having in my life for a greater purpose, even if I didn't know what the timing would be. Having been separated from my old master for three years (as of this Friday), I have found so many ways to moving forward with my training and making such phenomenal breakthroughs in my martial arts career and going past any limitations I may have had in the past.

Master Bardatsos is a six time national coach and made it on the national Taekwondo team in 1993. He is probably known as the best Olympic sparring coach on the east coast. I have seen his students and they are by far the best I have ever seen. This past Saturday at the Garden State Cup, I had the chance of watching several of the "Team Bardatsos" students spar, and was in absolute awe. I got to spar Steven Lin in my first match myself, I got to watch some new students he and his partner, Master Richard DeGeorge, are training, and I also got to watch an old friend from his school spar and win against Merissa Pico, who is training to be an Olympian herself.

Today I went over to meet with Master Bardatsos at his new school that he just opened in Little Falls, NJ called Kixx Martial Arts Academy. I went to discuss furthering my training in sparring and what we can do to get me to the level of training I want to be at. We discussed some business things and reminiscing on old sparring days (I HAVE known him since I was 13 years old), and of course the topic of my old master came up as well. We both know how commercial my old master was, but he brought up a great point that there is nothing wrong with making money, but you need to take care of "your people." Master Bardatsos tested MY old master for his 4th Degree Black Belt back in 2000. Now he will be helping me with my own goals as I reach closer to my 4th Degree test.

Even one of Master Balon's students is training with Master Bardatsos to improve his sparring, and he lives all the way in Freehold, NJ! When you want the best, Bardatsos is the one! But I was mostly enthralled in what a gracious master he is. Kind, humble, and peaceful, yet his skill in sparring is superb, a true warrior. As my other martial arts mentors, he truly embodies exactly what a true master should be. Recently, Master Bardatsos became a white belt to start all over again in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, not afraid of showing his students even a 6th Dan Black Belt can be humble enough to start fresh and be a student once again!

So of course I asked him to give me an honest analysis of my match against his student, Steven Lin, from Sunday. I was ready to hear that I needed to work on my speed, my power, kicking higher, etc. He told me all of those things ANYONE can improve on to get better, but those were not the points he had in mind for me at all. It was all about TIMING! Well how symbolic can that be for me! EVERYTHING for me has always been about timing in my life. And sometimes my timing is off, and it drives me crazy. So the lack of timing in my sparring represents a lot in my life. I feel the better I get with my timing in sparring, maybe the timing in my life will improve as well.

Being the great coach he is, Master Bardatsos explained to me how I will learn to just be able to read people's body while sparring and I'll know exactly what I need to do. Like, when he says fast kick, Steven will know whether he needs to set me up for it or just do it NOW. It's like a football coach setting up the play, and if it works, it works! And if it doesn't, it doesn't, new play! I need to have the plan in my head BEFORE I get into the ring. usually I do, but I never stick with it. Master Bardatsos will teach me to balance having the plan and putting it into action. He told me I was on the right track because I "definitely have the heart" (he has no idea how much that meant to hear!) and that I know how to spar (thank God he thinks so!). So we discussed training, times and options, and he is very mindful of the fact that I have my own business to run also, and tells me to focus on my family first. I am so grateful for his understanding, and it only increases the level of respect I have for him.

Training with Master Bardatsos, I will be able to spar with the Invictus Sparring Team, the cream of the crop. He told me to get better in sparring, SPAR! Spar, spar, spar! Go to as many competitions and seminars and SPAR! Makes sense. I will be able to spar Steven and the rest of the team much more and it is a chance to really help me get to the level I want to be at. A piece of advice from Master Bardatsos is surrounding yourself with the right people in your training is key. And that is exactly what I am going to do. He also told me, he would even coach me at future competitions, being part of the team and school! What an honor! (no offense Robert =P)

I explained to him that as my own students improve and train, I will be doing the same. He then told me he started his own school around the same age as I am now, and while he was training others, he was training also. Although he was the head coach and trainer, his students got to watch him train and improve as if they were going through the process themselves. I can't hep but think about how my Black Belts (Frankie, Robert, Andrew, Samantha, and Erin) get to watch me go through that same process. One of those people from the past who trained under Team Bardatsos was Anthony Graf. I remember watching him spar at the US Team Trials in Orlando, Florida in 2003. It was amazing to see. Looking back, this was someone who got to watch his own instructor groom to becoming the coach he is today. And now here's Steven, a three time world champion as another true legacy of Bardatsos training!

Anthony Graf, Steven Lin, and Master Bardatsos

I told him flat out, I am afraid. My best and greatest training partner was the bag. Always there for me, and never let me down. But the bag doesn't kick back. I sparred a lot but not the level I needed. I am sure I'll be doing more sparring the next eight months than I have ever done in my life. But he is happy to see that I can come out and say that. It helps the process a lot. I have goals for my 4th Degree test and even more for after. And I know Master Bardatsos can get me to where I want to be.

Now for the greatest compliment this sparring-God can give me! He kept calling me "Master Trento." And I finally said at one point, "You know, I'm really not a master yet. People call me master just because I own a school, but I am not there yet. I am setting the standards quite high for myself." To which he responds, "Maybe not on paper, but I will always call you Master Trento because of your spirit. You are teaching others, you have a school where you create good family environment, and you share what you know. That is living the life." Well I think I just died a little bit inside, I'm not going to lie!

So I really look forward to training with Master Bardatsos, training with the Invictus sparring team, going to more competitions, and sparring the best of the best more consistently. For the first time, I am FINALLY doing what I have said I would do with my sparring. And what better way than to work on TIMING?

Master Bardatsos as a white belt in Taekwondo many years ago

Master Bardatsos as a white belt in Jiu-Jitsu last month

Yours in service,
ANDREW TRENTO

The Curse of Grudges

Grudges. Judgments. These are the things that hold people back from learning to love. I don't necessarily mean romantically, but anyone who has experience in positive thinking, self-esteem, and self-help they will all tell you all good things stem from the power of love. Loving your relationships with people, loving how you live your life, loving the experiences you have, loving the food you eat, loving the activities you do, love is the highest frequency someone can be on.

Having the capacity of love also prevents you from doing wrong to people. You never have the intention of hurting people and will never go out of your way to sabotage others. I have seen it happen and continue to see it happen all the time. People who lack the capacity to have love in their hearts are the ones who are quick to judge, label, and hold grudges.

We all have done this in one way or another in our lives, but as we get older we do mature and learn to love and know better. We grow up to be good people. We should never wish harm on others, nor should we ever put our effort into hurting others. But then there are some people who thrive on it. They want to be fed so they create more to feed on. Nine out of ten times, it is totally unfair because it not only hurts their target, but the ones around them.

As a master in training, it is my wish to teach people, not only in martial arts, but all I come in contact with to learn how to project good energy, even to those who may have done you wrong. We cannot make quick judgments on people and put labels on others! We have no right to do so! "Oh she is a party girl." "Oh he's a meat-head." "Oh she's a tramp." "Oh he's gay." "Oh she is a drama queen." "Oh he's a player." And these judgments come from usually initial meetings and confrontations. That is not right to do. You don't have a PhD to analyze otherwise.

But the worse of all the curses, which evil thrives on, are the grudges. Holding ill feelings of resentment against someone. Holding a grudge is like carrying a large heavy box on your back at all times. It is heavy, it hurts, and it slows you down. You don't even realize the weight on your back. It sometimes gets so heavy you holds you in place and you get STUCK! I never held a grudge against anybody until recently. I am slowly getting over it, knowing why holding grudges are more damaging to myself to the person I hold it against, but oh my gosh. Holding a grudge is probably the worst thing you can do to YOURSELF!

This grudge I have held has been more damaging and destroyed me than the other person. So I have let go, maybe not forgiven yet, and I will get there. But I saw first hand what a grudge can do to you. So I can only imagine the people out in the world who hold SEVERAL grudges over their entire lives! I pity them and only hope they can find true release so they can have a fuller capacity to love and see that life does not have to be all that bad, and there really is a lot more good in people in the world. Some may say I am a hopeless romantic, but I have learned never to lose hope. Someone told me HOPE stands for Hold On Possibilities Exist!

Yours in service,
ANDREW TRENTO