Visiting Grandma Lucy

Therapist: So ladies, what brings you to therapy?
Fran Fine: I came because my mother has an obsession with me getting married.
Sylvia Fine: I came because my daughter has a delusion that I have an obsession.
Grandma Yetta: I came because they brought me and I don't know how to get home. (Looks at Fran) Who are you?
Fran Fine: I'm your granddaughter, Fran. Grandma Yetta: Oh Franny, nice to meet you. Fran Fine: One nice thing about senility, you're always meeting new people. 


The apartment Kristin and I live in was originally the apartment of Kristin's Grandma Lucy. Grandma Lucy is 98 years old today. She is a very strong German woman who has had a very full and long life. The last couple of years, Grandma has been getting older and older and can't walk, can't hear, and can't remember too well. A couple of years ago, Grandma Lucy moved into a nursing home in Demarest, NJ when she couldn't take care of herself anymore.

Kristin's father would religiously visit her every week and Kristin and her mother would make regular visits as well. But they never knew what kind of day it would be when they saw her. Some days were good where she was responsive and knew who everyone was, other days she didn't know who anyone was and would cry. The bad days were the most emotionally trying days. Kristin would dread going to visit because she understandably didn't want to see her grandmother in such a miserable state. Many times when I'd ask Kristin or her parents how Grandma Lucy was doing, they would answer "Existing."

Very recently, Grandma Lucy was moved to a new nursing home closer by to us. I knew of this particular nursing home myself because my great-great aunt and great-grandmother lived here before. I knew the place like the back of my hand. I actually celebrated my 13th birthday at this nursing home many years ago when I came to visit them. It's been ten years since I've been here. That time of my life seems so long ago. I never thought I'd ever be back to this nursing home to see anybody. Until now!

I went with Kristin this past Sunday to visit Grandma Lucy. I knew she was a little hesitant because of past visits at the old nursing home of not knowing whether it would be a good day or bad day. We drove up and walked through the front doors. It's been ten years since I walked in here. We walked down the corridor to where Grandma Lucy's room was and she was sitting in the hallway in her wheelchair. The second she saw Kristin she made an "Oh!" face and pointed at her. She recognized her right away. I was personally happy about that. It was a good sign.

We wheeled her into her room and we began talking to her...or actually writing to her. She can't hear so Kristin would write on a pad of paper and Grandma would read it word by word. She still can read and comprehends! Not bad at 98! She remembered who Kristin's sister was and who Sadie was, she remembered Kristin's sister lived in Texas and made jokes how she had money to live in Texas, rubbing her fingers and thumb together.

She was sitting in her wheelchair for a long time I guess, because she would randomly say about every 5-10 minutes or so that her rear end hurt, and she would start laughing, which made us laugh. She was witty, laughing, talkative, responsive, I'd say it was a really good day for Grandma Lucy. Every time she said something so witty we weren't expecting, Kristin and I would bust out laughing, and Grandma Lucy laughed with us. I think I was crying I laughed so much at one point. I was really enjoying myself with Grandma.

Her lunch came at one point and there was a piece of paper on the tray with her name on it. She thought it was a bill and asked when she had to pay for it. I told her "It's on the house!" She couldn't read my lips so I went slower. "IT'S. ON. THE. HOUSE!!!" She stared....."FREE!!!!!!" Then she understood and it was so cute when she made her surprise "oh!" face, like she couldn't believe she was getting a free meal! Kristin looked at her and said "It tastes better now, eh!?" LOL!!

We walked her around a little bit to get a change of environment and scenery, and at one room Kristin and I saw these two roommates watching television, one in a wheelchair and one standing up. Both just engrossed in the television. Kristin turned to me and said "Look! There we are sixty years from now!" I asked her "Wanna put a deposit down for a room now so we don't have to worry about it then?" LOL!!

But one of my favorite moments was when Kristin picked up a picture from the nightstand of her grandmother, her sister, and Kristin. She picked it up and held it up and told her grandma that she had the same picture in her office at work. "I have it on my computer so I can see you every day." I thought that was the sweetest thing. Grandma Lucy's response was "You won't get a lot of work done then!" It was a great moment.

At the end of our visit, Grandma Lucy told me how strong she was and she wanted to fight me. So she made a tight fist and I put my fist against hers and we started to test our power and push each others fists. And you know what? The old lady has got some umph! I was impressed! She was also very proud, and Kristin had her show me her muscles. Grandma had this big smile on as she showed off her power!

We said our goodbye after what must have been over an hour. No tears, just I love yous and see you soons. I was happy I went to see Grandma Lucy, and I was even happier it was a "good day" for her and Kristin could leave knowing her grandmother is doing well. To see a 98 year old, you really begin to think WOW, the things she has seen, the things she lived through, the life she experienced, you never know whose presence you'll be in. But I was happy to have had time with Kristin and Grandma Lucy and have a day where I got to see her smile, laugh, be cute, make jokes, read, eat cake but not lunch, and try to overpower my fists. All I have to say about Grandma Lucy is, you go girl!

Yours in service,
MASTER TRENTO