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| Sifu Pedro Cepero Yee with Grandmaster Frank Yee, a solid loyal lineage. |
"Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles from less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses."
-Ann Landers
One of my dear friends worked for a job that made her do things according to their policies that went against her values. In order to keep her job, she had to do what her predecessors in authority told her to do. She was in charge of hiring people for the facility she worked for. She would run into many people who were good people, some had a past like all of us, and they would come for a job trying to make great changes for themselves. But her company would not hire them because of their past mistakes.In one instance, someone was hired and they ended up finding they were arrested for some stupid reason. Because they were already hired, they could not let them go for that reason, but would inform the supervisors of the facility to "look for something" to fire them for. Fire them for "something". It would break my dear friend's heart. She hated lying to good people who were looking to work hard, saying she would call if anything opened up, knowing there was a position available they'd be perfect for. She hated that she had to go against her values due to this job. This is one of many circumstances that were entailed in her job. Apparently this happens every day in corporate America.
Jack Canfield taught me that when you do things against your values, it erodes your self-esteem. It can destroy a person when you are forced to do things in the day to day that just are not of your virtue. When I was younger, I understood this, and even lost my job because of it when I was put in a situation that compromised my values. I knew what I was being asked was wrong and out of line, and I wanted to teach my students to stand up for what you believe in, especially when you know it is wrong. Even though I lost my job several years ago for it, it was the right thing and the truth. Several years later, however, I lost myself and began behaving in ways that did compromise who I was and it destroyed a great deal of who I was. I know that may be vague but you can look forward to the book or a future blog.
SO when Sifu was over for a little get together a few weeks ago, my dear friend happened to be present there when I asked Sifu how to deal with being in a position where an authoritarian or someone in a position of authority makes you do something against your values. He immediately began to discuss the importance in the Chinese culture of loyalty and virtue. In China (Or at least Chinese martial arts), there is nothing more important than this.
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| Me and my master Sifu Pedro Yee; I am proud of be a part of this loyal lineage. |
"To bring good health, to bring true happiness to one's family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one's mind. If a man can control his mind he can find the way to Enlightenment, and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him."
-Buddha
Nothing should ever break loyalty. When you swear loyalty or allegiance to anyone, there is nothing that should ever break this sacred bond. In this country, if you say "I give my word," that means NOTHING to anybody, and no one would believe you or take you on it. In China, you say "I give my word" and it is gold. There is nothing greater to one's honor and loyalty goes beyond limits. You follow and do whatever your master says no matter what.
I remember a story Sifu told of a Chinese general, General Kuan (aka Kawn or Guan Gong) who gave up his own life rather than betray the loyalty of his own training brother. Loyalty is a treasure of great stature. You may not agree or understand, but you follow and listen without question. HOWEVER! If you KNOW that your master or predecessor is doing something wrong, or not of good integrity, then you must follow the path of virtue.
Virtue is the quality of doing what is right and avoiding what is wrong. Patience is a virtue, we have all heard that. My grandfather will joke, so is consideration. But the Chinese also knew, if we were to go against our virtue, it would not only bring us dishonor, but hurt us as a human being. If the loyalty you have is based on the stature of virtue and not ego or selfish needs or greed, you are on a greater path to better....well....I'll use the word enlightenment I guess.
Always stand upon the values which you stand on. It keeps a strong sense of self and self-esteem. Self-confidence is your force-field against negativity and doubt. If keeps your healthier mentally and more stable as a human being. I am honored and proud to being a part of lineages I share, which I am very loyal to. The mentors and masters I follow all have great integrity and do not force me to go against my values and want to build me up with no strings attached. It what makes the loyalty so strong and pure.
In fact, one of my mentors was the general manager of a gym. The owner was very nasty to her, berated her, overstepped boundaries, and very borderline abusive verbally and emotionally. Luckily my mentor has VERY strong and thick skin. But in the end, one too many times is one too many times. It didn't matter if she had a mortgage, five kids, and single parent, she would rather find other means to making her life work and doing what she had to do then to be treated the way she was being treated, after going above and beyond, more than anyone who came after her contributed. She valued herself first and followed virtue, what was right and what was wrong.
My dear friend stepped down from her position as well. She could no longer do the things she felt were wrong in her field of work, and also stepped up for herself when she knew she was being told she was wrong for not doing the wrongdoing she was instructed to do. It didn't matter, it was not worth it. She was happier than ever, thrilled, and had a huge weight lifted from her shoulders. Know when to be Loyal, and know when to be stand on virtue.
I remember a story Sifu told of a Chinese general, General Kuan (aka Kawn or Guan Gong) who gave up his own life rather than betray the loyalty of his own training brother. Loyalty is a treasure of great stature. You may not agree or understand, but you follow and listen without question. HOWEVER! If you KNOW that your master or predecessor is doing something wrong, or not of good integrity, then you must follow the path of virtue.
Virtue is the quality of doing what is right and avoiding what is wrong. Patience is a virtue, we have all heard that. My grandfather will joke, so is consideration. But the Chinese also knew, if we were to go against our virtue, it would not only bring us dishonor, but hurt us as a human being. If the loyalty you have is based on the stature of virtue and not ego or selfish needs or greed, you are on a greater path to better....well....I'll use the word enlightenment I guess.
Always stand upon the values which you stand on. It keeps a strong sense of self and self-esteem. Self-confidence is your force-field against negativity and doubt. If keeps your healthier mentally and more stable as a human being. I am honored and proud to being a part of lineages I share, which I am very loyal to. The mentors and masters I follow all have great integrity and do not force me to go against my values and want to build me up with no strings attached. It what makes the loyalty so strong and pure.
In fact, one of my mentors was the general manager of a gym. The owner was very nasty to her, berated her, overstepped boundaries, and very borderline abusive verbally and emotionally. Luckily my mentor has VERY strong and thick skin. But in the end, one too many times is one too many times. It didn't matter if she had a mortgage, five kids, and single parent, she would rather find other means to making her life work and doing what she had to do then to be treated the way she was being treated, after going above and beyond, more than anyone who came after her contributed. She valued herself first and followed virtue, what was right and what was wrong.
My dear friend stepped down from her position as well. She could no longer do the things she felt were wrong in her field of work, and also stepped up for herself when she knew she was being told she was wrong for not doing the wrongdoing she was instructed to do. It didn't matter, it was not worth it. She was happier than ever, thrilled, and had a huge weight lifted from her shoulders. Know when to be Loyal, and know when to be stand on virtue.
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| Me and Master Kevin Balon, my sacred Taekwondo lineage. |
MASTER A TRENTO
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