I Ching Roll

Three or so years ago, I learned from my master how to speak to Spirit. How weird do I sound?! But the truth is, we all can talk to Spirit. There is only ONE Spirit and it is Holy. Spirit speaks truth and truth only. There is no interpretation or versions of truth, truth is just what it is: Truth! My master (Sifu) said that the first thing I should do in the morning is get out paper and just write. Keep writing and don't stop and don't think. Before I knew it, the pen was going on it's own and the most amazing things would appear on paper.

It's kind of poetic language. It's a shame in times of chaos and uncertainty, I did not do this when I needed guidance and answers. It's a shame anyone who knows how to do this forgets to for the important things. It's easy to say one has rolled "retreat" when in reality that's only what the ego wants to do. After doing this Spirit writing for several months I learned to still my mind. Not clear my mind, that is something entirely different.

Keeping the mind still is a challenging skill, but very excellent to have. You never lose it once you have done it, and those who say they forgot or it's too hard, never had it (in my experience). When your mind is completely still, everything we know that is inside of us comes forth. Your senses are also extremely heightened. Do you know what it is like to hear the fly's wings fluttering that is above the ceiling tiles, or the scraping of grass hitting each other in the wind, or the scrape of the paper turning of a magazine or book from a distance, or the breathing of a person sitting on a bench so many yards away.

I guess through high levels of meditation you can do this. But you can also physically hear the voice of Spirit. It is s stern voice and yet again sometimes is very poetic. How crazy do I sound yet?! When my mind is in chaos, I do not hear the voice of Spirit. This is not natural to me. I have to work at it. It doesn't happen on command, and sometimes it gives me a headache. But it's so valuable. I am NOT a psychic or psychic by any means, but I guess you can say I am a "trained clairvoyant". I see things and information comes to me and I don't know how I know it or why I see what I see. People I have worked on can vouch on the coincide-ances that occur.

The Book of Changes, or I Ching has been around for thousands of years. Through special type of coins or yarrow sticks, one can create a hexagram. There are 64 hexagrams, two tri-grams over another encompassing all of human experience, verbal formulations, and cultural evaluations of the experience. It's an amazing art to know and I am privileged to know how to do it. I have a very old book and what I was warned years ago is that if you don't want to know the answer don't ask. What I have also found is that whatever the interpretation is, whatever it means to the one asking the question is what it means for them, period! I avoid yes and no questions.

The interpretation has an oracle meaning, then an interpretation known as ARTHA explaining the pursuit in prosperity in practical life. KAMA deals with relationships to people. MOKSHA is striving for spiritual liberation. (It's not voodoo or withcraft!) As the yin and yang lines are formed to make a hexagram, hard lines can change from yin to yang which can show the inevitable change in the lines. I have the three I Ching coins which are very special to me.

It's been a long time, but I rolled the coins for I Ching. I had a question and I'll share some of the interpretations which still fascinate me. This is what spirit had to say. I rolled #38 which was Neutrality.

ORACLE: 

Fire over the marsh. 

The superior man allows 

variations to the norm. 

Success in minor details.

This hexagram represents a stand-off neutrality between the counteracting forces within you....you are involved in a situation where two opposing viewpoints, two opposing sides, irreconcilably neutralize themselves into a stalemate....You constantly feel pulled in opposite directions. Whenever you consider acting, inactivity seems just as desirable.....You are not in a state of neurotic indecisiveness, although it might seem so. 

He has lost his horses.

He need not search for them;

they will return by themselves.

If he meets bad men

he can speak with them.

Guilt disappears.

You feel you have lost something. You have. Because of your new inner neutralization, [everything] have lost their traditional meaning for you....Do not regret these things. 

He meets his master in an alley. No mistakes....Your ambiguity about a factional dispute makes your relationships with a close friend, who is involved in the dispute, embarrassing from his point of view. It pains him, but he feel he must avoid you. 

You must eventually open up and accept this sincerity. 

The moving lines turned Neutrality into #16, Enthusiasm.

ORACLE:

Thunder is music to the earth.

The ancient kings composed music

in honor of their own virtue,

and presented it to God,

inviting their ancestors to be present.

Rally your forces 

and set them moving.

This is the hexagram of music that moves. This is the music that gathers together and inspires feelings of brotherhood and common cause. It is music without pretension  that seeks and woos and loves those who listen.....If you are not a musician, you still make this kind of music in whatever it is that you do and inspire similar enthusiasm with those with whom you work or live or socialize. You are an instrument on which you, yourself, play -- in an intense search for common bond and common mind and common breath among those around you. 

Music is the art of patterns in time. Dance is the art of patterns in time and space. Music and dance can bring about ecstatic enlightenment as no other art forms can. 

Some of it makes a great deal of sense, some of it is merely theory. But it certainly does amaze me what Spirit says sometimes. But it is not our abilities that determine who we are, it is our choices. And we always have the choice. (BOWS)

Yours in service,

MASTER A TRENTO

Joan Rivers

And yet again, another horrible loss. Although she hated being called it, but she was indeed a pioneer. Joan Rivers was the last of the real greats to pave the way for comedians in our culture. However, she also took a trade a made it her own and her work ethic was flawless. A true master of our time, she was the product of such a great caliber. I really don't feel she had to go.

It all started with Lucy. Lucy was the first and remains to be the best of women in comedy. If there was no Lucy there would be no Bea Arthur, no Betty White, no Carol Burnett, no Phyllis Diller, and no Fran Drescher. But there'dalso be no Joan Rivers. Joan has learned from all of these women, but she had a flare and taste that went beyond limits even these ladies would never cross.

Without Joan Rivers there'd be no Tina Fey, no Kathy Griffin, no Jenny Slate, no Sandra Bernhard, no Joy Behar, no Ellen DeGeneres, no Amy Poehler, and no Wanda Sykes. Rivers pushed the boundaries up to the day she died. No topic was off limits, she didn't mind using fowl language, she kept up with the famous men comedians, and some of the men couldn't even keep up with her!

I watched her roast a few years ago, and I watched the Documentary about her Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work. watching and learning about her work was absolutely amazing. I love seeing a true master at work. She was open about her plastic surgeries, famous for her Fashion Police critiques, her red carpet interviews, her stand ups being absolutely hilarious, and even offered comedy in her darkest times in life, like when her husband committed suicide. I remember her saying in an interview "I'm still angry with him. That son of a b*tch! If I see him in heaven, I'll kill him!"

Some people thought her humor was off color or mean, but she always said that she told the truth and only said what everyone else was, which is what made it so funny. But she also had the view that if you were being made fun of and insulted by her, that you were worthy of something great enough to be recognized in such a way. When Joan Rivers was making fun of you, you knew you made it in showbiz!

But I also think of her big break when the great Johnny Carson really was the one to discover her and give her a chance. She was denied seven auditions to be on the Carson show and finally one day she made it on the show and Carson told her that she was going to be a star, and it changed her life. She was the ONLY permanent guest host for several years, and she always attributed a great deal of her success to Carson. But what also hits me is when she was given an opportunity to start her own show and she told him, he hung up on her and NEVER spoke to him again. It hurt her for many years not to have her mentor speak to her or be happy for her.

She did later win an Emmy for her show and in her teary acceptance speech remembers when there was a time she couldn't get a job at all in the business. I love the laughs she had made about herself like "My face has been tucked in more than a motel bed sheet" or when Lucille Ball asked her what it was like to be a sex symbol and she answered "It's difficult," and went on with a story about how she had bed curlers and fluffy slippers and told her husband Edgar "I'm ready" and he'd hold up a cross, or when asked what she wanted her grandson to be when he grew up she answered gay because who else is gonna care that she knew Judy Garland. LMAOOOO!!!

Laughter is a treasure beyond measure. There are people in our culture who have brought great laughter and the ones in our every day lives who make us laugh have a special gift. Always share that gift. That's what Joan Rivers did for so many others as well. I really feel like she didn't have to go so soon. But I'm sure she is having sold out performances in heaven already! (BOWS)

Yours in service,
MASTER A TRENTO

Quotes from my Book

It's getting there. I began writing my book when I was 17 years old. It is Eh-erm years later. It's on it's way. I began writing it for me and me alone. It was a way for me to just recollect and get it out of me. It was a way to reflect. I have been writing another book, just as long that I was going to publish to help others based on some of my own experiences. However, as time went on, some of my closest friends and myself believed that maybe sharing my own story wouldn't be such a bad idea.

It terrifies me. It scares me to do. It is very hard to write let alone share with others. But it can be inspiring to others. It may help others. Some who were there may find it invigorating to remember. Some may be fascinated not knowing what lie behind the red curtain. But my own story will never truly end, but my recent chapters of this part of my life may. Here are some of my favorite quotes I have come across lately through the editing process.

"I was so nervous to ask my mother, because I have never made such a decision for myself before. But I knew ever since I started that this is what I was supposed to be doing. Not many get that at my age."

-Andrew Trento in "As the Board Breaks".

"I guess I was weird because every other kid my age wanted to be Pokemon masters. I wanted to be a martial arts master!"
-Andrew Trento in "As the Board Breaks".

"I knew that there were two things that I was going to do in my life. One was that I WILL become a master one day. And second I WILL have my own school one day."
-Andrew Trento in "As the Board Breaks".

"I was so proud to receive my first gold medal I brought it to my grandfather. He put the medal around his neck and the weight of the medal jerked his head a little bit. He said 'No wonder why you guys bow.'"
-Andrew Trento in "As the Board Breaks".

"I don't remember ever going to bed with such a big smile on my face after that night with everyone. I knew what we were creating together was very special to us all."
-Andrew Trento in "As the Board Breaks".

"It was such a great night of fun and laughs, I remember thinking nothing possibly could ever go wrong...."
-Andrew Trento in "As the Board Breaks".

"I remember walking out and the light hit our face and we saw the large stadium come into focus. It was like something out of a movie."
-Andrew Trento in "As the Board Breaks"

"After seven years, I couldn't believe she was gone. We were there together through thick and thin, and the day we weren't together never occurred to me. I couldn't believe the physical pain it caused me." 
-Andrew Trento in "As the Board Breaks"

"It was snowing hard, but 20 of us still gathered in my apartment to have this Mastermind meeting. They were former colleagues, students, training partners, and Black Belts; all good friends (more like family), brought together for a purpose. These people helped provide the foundation this school would build upon."

-Andrew Trento in "As the Board Breaks"

"So many people were telling me that it's not the right time, the economy is bad, and that I'll never do it. All I knew was this: I didn't how I was going to do it, but I knew that I WILL." 

-Andrew Trento in "As the Board Breaks"

"You do whatever it is in your power to be resilient as possible. It is not our job to educate the ignorant."

-Andrew Trento in "As the Board Breaks"

"I said to all who were there 'Not all of you here know each other, but you all have the same roots. The common denominator is what you all share. Always know where you have come from and know that all is welcome here.'"

-Andrew Trento in "As the Board Breaks"

"The mentors saved my life."

-Andrew Trento in "As the Board Breaks"

"I couldn't see through my eyes but when I did, his face looked as if he turned to gold. The only thing that I had to know I wasn't dreaming was that my hair was moving from the tremendous wind."

-Andrew Trento in "As the Board Breaks"

"They don't want to be around you when you're struggling. Only when you're on the top."

-Andrew Trento in "As the Board Breaks"

"I made it a point to know every one of my students' names. I tried to create a cozy, relaxed atmosphere." 

-Andrew Trento in "As the Board Breaks"

"The day just came when I knew I had to make a change. Deep inside I knew I had to make a change; I'm a believer in change. I think you have to shake up your life a bit and then see what happens." 

-Andrew Trento in "As the Board Breaks"

"The hardest part about making adjustments with my students was never knowing how much to involve myself in their personal lives. After all I was not their parents, counseling was NOT my job, and I tried very hard not to overstep myself. How did I do? I failed miserably most of the time!"

-Andrew Trento in "As the Board Breaks"

"You see, I was there. And when they were in trouble or they had a problem, I couldn't help myself from jumping in. However, they jumped a lot into MY life too."

-Andrew Trento in "As the Board Breaks"

"There are times I wonder what it'll be like when they're gone. I wonder if I'll be lonely. Of course I will be. But then again, like I said.....change..."

-Andrew Trento in "As the Board Breaks."

Yours in service,

MASTER A TRENTO

A Fish in a Bowl

I heard an analogy once about a fish on a bowl. Someone once read a fact in a book or in some article about fish. It is indeed a fact that if you put a fish in a bowl, it will only grow as big as the bowl will allow it to. Put the fish in a bigger bowl, then it will grow even bigger. Some fish will strive to swim and jump out of the bowl to finding new bigger and vast bodies of water. But it if they don't find that big body of water, they will suffocate and die, because they can only breathe under water.

The fish in a bowl analogy has a lot of lessons for us to think about. First off, sometimes we could be in an environment that stunts our growth. This could be in the work place, a school, or even in the very town you live in. There are people who want to strive for success in their work or business but just can't seem to bring it to new heights because where they are at is just too small for them, or the fish. When the environment is as small as a miniature bowl, that can be as suffocating for the fish as being outI of the water.

And what the fish won't realize is that they do not get the chance to grow either. Tey never grow to be the full sized fish that they could possibly be. There are people who want to excel in school, and they feel like there are limited opportunities to learning exactly what it is they need to learn or avenues of acquiring skill in order to move on in their ducation. But their school is such a small bowl and they don't grow.

There are so many people who want to go on and do great things. There people we always hear saying "I can't wait to leave this town!" and sometimes they do in order to make BIG things happen for themselves. Dolly Parton, as much as she loved and was proud to be a farmer's daughter, wanted so much to live her dreams and live her true fairy tale life and went out into the world to make herself a big star! Lucille Ball felt she had to leave her little home of Jamestown, NY so she can become a great actress one day. She would say she felt like she had so much to do and being in her small town was going to make her burst.

I have a good friend named Kristyn. We grew up in this small town called Saddle Brook in New Jersey. And it is a VERY small town. Kristyn is extremely talented on so many levels. When she went to college, she had no problem when it came time to leaving Saddle Brook and going to Boston for college and making a way for herself.

But sometimes even the most polished and crystal clear bowls just aren't big enough for the fish. Kristyn ended up getting a fantastic job in New York City for Sports Illustrated. But after quite some time, it was not making her happy. She wanted to leave and EVERYONE told her she would be crazy for leaving the job, it was secure with benefits and room for growth etc. But in the end it was not what she wanted. She ended up leaving her Sports Illustrated job and going back towards the Boston area doing what some may consider unconventional, but being successful and happy nonetheless, despite the odds.

Everyone knows how much I love Barbara Walters, the greatest journalist of our time, I don't care who you are, you cannot deny her style, work, accomplishments, and success. She was the first female co-anchor of a news program and highest paid with a salary of one million dollars a year! When asked about why she said "I want to say ABC gave me an offer I could not refuse, but it was also going to be historic for women, and that meant a great deal."

But she wasn't a big hit at first. Her male co-anchor did NOT want her there and made it clear on the air by his behavior toward her and the audience didn't either because of it. Barbara was a fish who jumped out of the water to finding a bigger bowl, but just couldn't find her way to that bowl. Barbara would say she felt like she was drowning with no life preserver. Well as a fish, she was suffocating and until someone through her a line to get into that bigger body of water. She took a risk, and she suffocated at first, but it lead to her ultimate success.

Of course not everyone takes on and offer to a big body of water like Barbara did. Carol Burnett, like my friend Kristyn, refused a big body of water to create her own. Lucille Ball, who was Carol's idol and mentor, offered her her very own television show through Desilu Studio, the empire Lucy was running. She was being offered a dream from her own personal idol! How could she refuse? But she did.Carol wanted to find her own opportunity and create something that wasn't done before, and her variety show to this day is one of the greatest and funniest contributions to television. In fact, the STV Special CBS offered her to do in order to prove herself worthy of a show, Carol Burnett called in her idol Lucy who was more than happy to help her protege make it to her own body of water.

So as you can see, making the difficult decision to finding new big bodies of water isn't always an easy one. Sometimes there are fantastic opportunities and you shouldn't be stupid enough to turn them down. You have to be smart and know when the bowl you're in is keeping you from growing like a fish in a small bowl. Sometimes great opportunities are presented and you let them go by, but if you do you have to be willing to making your path one that is well worth taking and making a greater body of water. The bottom line, you have to know when it is time to become a Big Fish and how to remain that way. (BOWS)

Yours in service,
MASTER A TRENTO

The Qigong Course

Last spring I did a ten week Special for Women's Self-Defense. For the summer, I began last week my next ten week Special on Qigong. I have written about Qigong before but it is a topic I will constantly be learning and teaching about. I was very excited about teaching this course, especially with so many people so interested in it. And many people wanted me in particular to teach it. I kept putting it off a year ago, saying I'd rather have my Qigong mentor or one of my more experienced Kung Fu brothers or sisters teach it. But my members at TMAFC wanted ME to do it.

I don't know if it is because I felt I wasn't as experienced as the ones I have worked with before, or it was just too new for me, or because I was just too clouded with things in my life that I felt I couldn't do it. But this past year I have incorprated it a little bit with a few of my students and the interest build up quick. So I decided to finally do it.

Qigong has been around for over 6,000 years or so, give or take a few hundred years. There are countless of different forms and sets. A scientist will tell you everything is energy. Energy cannot be created nor destroyed, can go in and out of form, always have been and always will be. In Chinese, we call that little ol' thing energy QI (sounds like CHEE). Qi, which is also known as universal life force, can be manipulated, manifested, cultivated, and moved. Anyone can learn to do this, using our mind and bodies as a vehicle to utilizing it. "Gong" in Chinese means work. So here you have your basic energy work.

Everything is energy. Everything is Qi. Thoughts, emotions, chemicals, toxins, etc. You can release negative Qi and chemicals and toxins that stay in your body whether it be in illness, stress, or in your organs. Through postures, movements, and breathing exercises, you can use Qigong to build your vitality and health.

Under Sifu, I became a Certified Qigong Therapist, where I use therapeutic practices to helping people with ailments that can medically help people. A couple years ago I met my Qigong mentor at another mentor's school where I experienced Qigong exercise practices for the first time. Using guided imagery of the mind, correct posture and movement, as well as correct flow of breathing, you can learn to move the Qi within your body along the twelve meridians of the body. You can strengthen your body, gain mental clarity, spiritual enlightenment, and energetically clean yourself up.

I have about 16 or more people taking this ten week Qigong class, and the energy is absolutely amazing in the room. I am also excited to share with people this experience and hear of the great benefits they all are receiving and sharing. With so many people sharing and validating their experiences, the energy and positivity in the room is magnified, which makes the course even more exciting and fun. I am using techniques and sets taught to me by my Qigong mentor, some from my own master (Sifu) and some I have found that are very popular to do within the Qigong scope.

I am already seeing the people in the course benefiting from it already and tonight is the second class. I hope by also teaching it, it gives me a chance to get some practice in so I, too, can energetically manifest all the Qi I need to create what I need to create in my life.

If you are interested in learning more about Qigong, or even already enrolled in this current Qigong course and want to continue it, let me know my calling me at 201-203-0773, or emailing me at tmafcinfo@gmail.com. Who knows, if there's enough interest, maybe I'll do it again at the end of this Special.  (BOWS)

Yours in service,
MASTER A TRENTO 

Learn About Depression

Like almost everyone else in the world, I was shocked to hear about the death of Robin Williams. It is said to be a suicide. This saddens me so much. It's horrible to think how such a master of his trade, who's art was bringing laughter to so many people in the world could be suffering so much to take his own life. But that's what depression does. And I get angry when people use that word so loosely, because the truth is, unless you have truly experienced depression, you cannot understand it. 

I've written about it so many times. Depression is not just sadness and grief. It is the absence of any emotion, to the point where you feel you will never be happy again and cannot begin to function. It's not just slipping into poor me mode or dramatizing bad situations in your life, even if that's how the outsiders view it. It is an illness, like the mumps, chicken pox, strep throat; and like any illness, if not treated properly you can die from it. 

Robin Williams did not kill himself. The illness did. Depression is an illness that is so overcoming on such a level, it changes you entirely psychologically and chemically. I've suffered depression quite a few times in my life. The same depression as Robin Williams. I had a nervous breakdown at the age of 16 turning 17. I was out of training, couldn't do full days of school, my grades suffered, and my closest friends and my family didn't know what to do to help me. It happened again at 21 turning 22 when major changes happened in my life, where I knew things were just never going to be the same in my life. And one year ago to the day, must have been the absolute worst time of my life.

I get angry with people who greet others with depression in anger or annoyance. Those who call depressives drama queens or say "just get over it" or "slap out of it". Shame on those people. That is the ultimate ignorance. Maybe it's because I've suffered three times from true depression. I get angry when people use the word lightly. "Oh, I'm so depressed there's not ice cream left." Or "Oh I'm so depressed she left me for another guy." Or "Oh I'm so depressed, he'll never love me."

When you're in true depression, you cannot bring yourself to be happy, you don't find the bright side of things, it truly does not exist, and yes you want life to just end. You want it to end so badly that you may even pray for it. "Please God, take me now, I'll be happier with you." You sit behind the wheel and contemplate "Just step on the peddle, the wall is right there." Maybe stand on top of a multi-tiered parking lot standing on the edge, contemplating, it's just one jump.

Bystanders need to be educated. Bystanders need to understand. Unfortunately, like denial, unless you've experienced it, you can't understand it. But like I've said in the past, questions don't ask, ignorance does. Healing comes in many forms, and it's never a straight line. There are a million zig zags that can lead to the same place.

When my brother Thomas called me to tell me about Robin Williams died, I was shocked. I've only been that shocked two other times with Steve Irwin and Michael Jackson. My brother knew how much I loved Robin Williams. Some of his movies were my all time favorites and I use lessons from them all such as in Dead Poet's Society, Patch Adams, Bicentennial Man, Hook, Jack, and Good Will Hunting. But He also made me laugh so much whether it be in his movies like Jumangi, Flubber, and The Birdcage or in his stand-up. 

One of my favorite moments with him was actually not a stand-up, show, or even a movie. On Good Morning America Williams was scheduled to make an appearance plugging some movie or whatever. Beforehand, without him knowing, they were going to donate to a special charity (Williams was known to do great charity work) depending on things he was known to doing in interviews. $20 for every time he jumped out of the chair. $50 every time he screamed. $75 every time he did a foreign accent. $100 for every time he impersonated someone. Robin Williams did not disappoint and raised a few thousand dollars and what was even funnier was that he did it UNKNOWINGLY! How wonderful!

The above quote is a brilliant one, but what we have to remember is sometimes, people don't MEAN to make us feel alone. We do it to ourselves and what those people are doing is not wrong. I used to host these magnificent Macaroni Sundays. When I was in my state of depression, at my own event in my own home, with some of my closest companions, I would sometimes feel so alone. They were talking about something I wasn't knowledgeable on, or if I was used as the butt of a joke in good jest, if someone was showed something on a phone and I wasn't offered to see, I created this story in my head that I was made to be felt alone even when surrounded by people I loved, and I knew they loved me too. But the depression made you feel otherwise. The more awareness we can build for ourselves and for our loved ones the better. 

I always said, I never had to or wanted something to happen to me first before caring about something. I didn't have to have someone I know die of breast cancer or testicular cancer before I began supporting breast and testicular cancer. I didn't have to know someone or myself have ALS or AIDS or Austism before being involved in projects for research and awareness for these things.If you haven't experienced true depression or don't know someone who has true depression, don't wait until you do to care or to educate yourself. 

 This above quote from a Robin Williams movie reminds me of something Sifu once told me. Great things come out of chaos, never out of bliss. That a peacock that eats the poisons in the world that make the beautiful colors of its feathers, we must take the chaos and make beauty. Remind all people. And people suffering from depression may be able to hang on. 

We have to support each other in everything. It is another reason to just be KIND. When perpetrators say "Well I didn't know such and such had this and that" or whatever, the problem is you didn't HAVE to know, there isn't any reason you HAD to know, just be KIND in the first place. Kindness can save a person. To believe that there is no other option in the world than to kill yourself is so sad. And I remember the feeling. You feel like you're drowning with no life preserver. Please ask for help.

There was another Robin Williams picture with a quote telling a story to the affect that a depressed person went to a doctor and the doctor told the patient to go see the town clown and he will be cured of all depression. Then the patient cried harder, revealing that he was the town clown! When the clown takes care of everyone, who takes care of the clown? When the leader takes care of everyone, who takes care of the leader? When the master is taking care of everyone, who takes care of the master? When the counselor is taking care of everyone, who is taking care of the counselor? When the caretaker is taking care of everyone, who is taking care of the caretaker? These are the things that are taken for granted.

As hard as it may seem that a person who brought so much joy and laughter and a master in his trade could be so depressed and ill, the truth is he was. And he's gone now. It's almost unbelievable and hard to imagine. In a way, the world became less funny. But may we all be aware and help each other in our campaign for kindness and take mental illness more serious. Rest in Peace Robin Williams. You will be missed. (BOWS)

Yours in service,

MASTER A TRENTO

The Gift of Kindness

"To me, the word kind or kindness are the two most important words in our dictionary that shows an awareness of what the other person needs. And that, to me, is really what's most important."

-My dear cousin Olegna, age 80

Last month at my Trento Family Reunion, my cousin Olegna and I had a small conversation as we were walking over to join the rest of the Trento's. She said that when someone is kind to someone else, that is the greatest gift someone can give. She said that to her, the most important word in the English language would be the word kindness. Or even kind. She told me how when people are kind, that there is this awareness that we have to figure out another person's needs. To Olegna, this is the most important thing in the world.

This conversation lasted all of 30 seconds when we were at the reunion. But I thought about it for a long time. And her words lay dormant as if waiting for something to hit me like a gong. That moment happened just yesterday. We went into the city to celebrate my mother's birthday. We had a beautiful day of events, one of those events being seeing Rodgers and Hammerstein's Cinderella on Broadway. When I was a kid I have seen a PBS video of it, and remember enjoying it, but it has been YEARS since I've seen it.

The play wasn't exactly as I remembered it, but this time round it was ten times better because of what I was experiencing.  This entire play was about KINDNESS. And We saw it through a perspective of it being a great power beyond measure. At the very beginning, the prince's right hand man was a cruel and judgmental person, labeling people as raggamuffin and poor, spitting out insults and ridicule, based on the rags they wore, etc. Cinderella and the crazy old woman named Marie in particular. But Cinderella offered the prince water from a cup and the prince said "Thank you for your beautiful kindness" and also acknowledged what a true friend she was sticking up for her crazy old lady friend, Marie.

Later in the play, that crazy old lady friend Marie revealed herself to be the beautiful fairy godmother. Cinderella couldn't believe her eyes and questioned how she could have a fairy godmother?! But the Godmother Marie said "Actually, I am everyone's fairy godmother. But I only show myself to YOU, m'dear, for you and you alone have shown me nothing but your gift of kindness." Because Cinderella showed great kindest to the fairy godmother, did she appear at all and give her the opportunity to live up to making her dreams come true.

Another moment of seeing the theme of kindness in the play was when Cinderella was at the ball. The guests have been rounded up to play a game called "Ridicule" where two people would be matched up and have to jab insults at one another. Coincidentally, this is exactly how the kingdom was run and people were taught to behave toward one another. When Cinderella was up, she happened to be matched with her horrible step-mother. Her step mother said "Age before beauty....go ahead!" And Cinderella thought for a moment and gave a compliment about her voice and a compliment about her clothing.

All the guests were so confused to what Cinderella was doing. And Cinderella actually began to instruct the guests how to be KIND and share that kindess to everyone. Before you knew it everyone at the ball was giving compliments and being kind and it changed the entire scene of the ball, and it opened the prince's eyes to how he wanted his kingdom to be run. I thought ti was such a clever and uncanny way to tie in this concept into the classic fairy tale.

I think the most prominent point of the play to show the ultimate kindness was once the glass slipper was placed on Cinderella's foot and she was exposed as the one who the prince was in love with all this time. The horrible step-mother said that after all the horrible insults and behavior and all the wrongs she had done to Cinderella, seeing how her entire plan and life was turned upside down in that very moment, she couldn't imagine what Cinderella had in store for her.

Cinderella looked at her mean step-mother, the one who said she only married her father for money, that she's only been a nuisance since her father died, tore the ball invitations up so she couldn't go, ripped her dress before going to the ball, ripped up the only jacket of her father's left for rags, and working her beyond her limits; she looked at this woman with fierce eyes and said "Madame, I only have the three most powerful words of kindness for you: I FORGIVE YOU."

Well the tears began to well up right there and then. That was it. The ultimate level of kindness that Olegna was talking about. To have that ultimate awareness of what a person needs. And so many have preached how you forgive others for yourself and all that, but as Cinderella taught, kindness can make you believe you can fight for your dreams, kindness opens opportunities to making you believe in yourself, kindness can be as contagious to a ballroom of guests, kindness can allow people to speak positively with their voice, kindness can lead to forgiveness, for as I learned in the past those who live with no forgiveness live in a worse punishment.

This above quote is a strong one. I know in my past there are people who have intentionally gone out of their way to hurt me, some still do. I know there are people who I have only perceptually thought they were tying to hurt me because of a story I made up in my head. I know there are people who believe I purposely gone out of my way to hurt them when I haven't. The common ground is it all created pain for people. Whether it be ourselves or other people. Forgiveness is not forgetting, it is truly remembering but with no pain at all. Does that mean you cut them off at the helm? Not all the time. Sometimes for a time it is appropriate but nothing lasts forever.

And if you see people you feel have caused you great pain or you see people who perceive you as perpetrators of pain in your life, just be kind. I don't say "kill them with kindness" because that's the wrong intent. I don't want to hold my grudges anymore, whatever they are. I don't want to have pain anymore. I'm not going to need years of figuring things out and working hard, I am going to JUST BE because I choose to be. So I say to you. Join me in my campaign for kindness.

To all the people who have intentionally hurt me and for the ones who I believed to have hurt me, I forgive you. To all the people who believed I hurt them, I am truly sorry and hope you can forgive me. And above all I do forgive myself, no more beating myself up and regrets. It is a time to spread kindness, with no strings attached, but pure servant leadership (future blog).

Kindness leads to respect. I teach respect. I do assemblies on respect. Respect is treating other people they way you want to be treated OR BETTER, and the servant leader will do this expecting NOTHING in return. Just give kindness to better your life and our world. Respect also comes in the form of accepting people for who they are whether it be difference in opinion, likes and dislikes, sexuality, race, or religious beliefs. People are ALLOWED to like things different from you. People are ALLOWED to look different than you. People are ALLOWED to behave differently from you. People are ALLOWED to believe in things different than you. It doesn't matter if they're strangers, family members, or your closest friends. You respect and accept at all costs, and be KIND.

Olegna also said to me: "With all thy wisdom, have understanding. And of course kindness travels as a companion to understanding." And as the great Dumbledore said "Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery." How true both statements are. The gift of kindness was reminded to me on a great level. And I share this with anyone who reads and hope you share it as well. I hope it helps us all remember to bring more kindness into our lives and world. For truly there is never a reason not to be KIND. A power against all measure against the "opponent". (BOWS)

Yours in service,
MASTER A TRENTO