The tournament was about 30-45 minutes away for us. So besides the travel time and being there super early and on time for our youngest seven year old student, we also dealt with tardiness due to the hour difference from daylight savings. With that being said, the tournament was already running an hour an a half behind which I was annoyed about, but it has happened before and is a very common occurrence with local tournaments, so I knew I'd be able to handle that.
When my youngest student did his form, he went up quite quickly and the scores were given. He did very well. Two of his scores were 8.8, 8.9, and then one was -- WOAH! It was really high, 9.5! That is quite a high score. But the scores are showed and recorder! Parents, students, and spectators all see them. But then...this gentleman went up to the young lady judge who gave the 9.5, and made her change her score to an 8.5. WHAT?! Why? You can't change the score!
So, being the responsible instructor and looking out for the well being and fairness of my student, I walked up to the gentleman and asked very nicely, "Excuse me, but why did you have her (the judge) change her score?" He then stopped and looked at me blank face and replied "Because I wanted her to change it," and just gave me a dead stare, as if trying to intimidate me. I was shocked that THAT was the reply I got. I just nodded and okay and then found the director of the tournament.
I am not one to complain at all. I don't care if my students win a trophy or a medal or not. If they do their best and they get an experience out of it, then it is worth while. We may not agree sometimes with the judges but that is how the game is played, you accept humbly and respectfully. But this was different. This gentleman in a suit told the judge to change her score and she dropped it by an entire point (which is a very big difference). I told him what happened and he went to the gentleman and I saw it looked like the director was telling this guy he couldn't do that. He then came back over to me.
He explained that the score was, in fact, really high and the judges are supposed to judge within a particular range for the age group and she exceeded the range. Well, that is fine. HOWEVER, why do you have judges who don't know the rules or how to score scoring? AND if she had to change her range, why drop the entire point, why not change it to the higher part of the range if she felt he did so well? After all she gave him the highest score, the others were 8.8 and 8.9. Hers was drop to 8.5 now. IN ADDITION, I totally understand the concept, and what the director told me was ALL THAT GUY HAD TO SAY TO ME. Not "Because I wanted her to." That is unacceptable, disrespectful, and uncalled for.
The director had the gentleman (which turned out to be his son) come to apologize to me. I accepted his apology and explained my feelings as I did in the last paragraph, and then his son made a comment "Well it's just common sense." I told him to STOP! First of all, common sense is so rare these days. So when working with people, you assume you have to explain without attitude. That's number one. Number two, it does not give him the right to be disrespectful. Then another director of the tournament had said that this guy came up to him to ask him to be sure the range was correct. So I feel he shouldn't have answered my question in the first place! Let alone as a hot shot.
My student did not get anything from the tournament, nor had they rectified the situation. At that point I had gathered the parents from my school together, and asked them what they thought we should do after viewing this situation. The other kids and parents from my school were already wondering whether or not we would have to deal with this and questioning the fairness of the tournament, and honestly I couldn't blame them and was questioning it too. I was supposed to do forms and spar also. The parents had decided it was not worth staying and we would stand together as a school and leave. I told the director, and another co-director came to try to persuade us to stay.
He was acting like your typical sales person. Passivising, smiling, putting his arm around one of the mothers, being overly friendly--he honestly thought he could change our minds. He even said earlier "Let me talk to them," like a big shot and that he had the ultimate power of influence. So I said by all means, we'll give you the opportunity. But family sticks together.
The parents heard him explain the situation and they clearly expressed how the damage has been done, bad taste has been put in their mouths, we stick together as a school, they didn't appreciate the treatment of our youngest team member nor of the disrespect to their master (me), and the co-director said "Oh, it won't happen. I promise you that." But how? And why should we all believe that? And how does our little guy get justified? "Oh we'll give him a trophy." NO!!!!!!!!! Absolutely not! That is NOT why we are doing this. It is not about the trophy, he could have gotten 6's across the board and had one changed to a 5 I would STILL have inquired.
And I also as a master, do not want to teach my kids that you complain and moan to get what you want because that is NOT what this is. I think that was my biggest dilemma in my mind, what course of action is the right one, and how am I going to have my kids learn the proper lesson from this situation. I am very lucky to have parents who are not only supportive but just as mindful of what we are teaching our kids with life situations as this one.
The co-director continued to speak and make comments that the more he spoke, the more turned off to the tournament we all became. At one point he said that he would tell his kids that if something happened they were upset about with breaking or forms, to go back into the sparring and kicks some kid's butt and take it out on the mats, and he said it with a swing of his arm down into a swagger and turned as if he made some magnificent point and that would be the end of it. But the parents erupted all at once before I could even say anything. "That is NOT what we are all about!" "That's not what Master Trento teaches!" "That's not what we do where we come from!" We now banded together on values.
I was very upset with the situation, and I felt really bad that we all woke up on a day that we lost an hour due to daylight savings, that we practically threw away money, and that we even came to this tournament. But I couldn't help but feel so grateful to have such parents apart of my school to back up our youngest student and myself. When I opened my school, I was very firm to start a school that stood on values before business. And on Sunday, that was very apparent and I couldn't have been more proud. To my "parents," thank you for supporting our group decision and standing behind our little guy when he was wronged.
To my kids, sometimes in life there are situations where you do not allow people to push you around or take advantage of you. When those moments occur, you stand up for yourself because you value yourself, not to make a point. If you put passion before principle, many a time you will lose. But then other times it is best to pick your things up and leave. You take the course of action depending on the circumstances, but for the sole intention of holding up to your values. These things do happen. It won't be the last, but remember to always stick to your values.
Yours in service,
ANDREW TRENTO
Situations in life happen. It is how you handle yourself and how true you are to yourself that defines an individual, a team or an organization.
ReplyDeleteSunday you clearly displayed grace & strength under fire.
You displayed all the qualities that make you a true master and leader.