Testing Redemption

"Only beautiful things come out of chaos."

-Sifu Pedro Cepero Yee

As I continue to train for my masters test this coming summer, I obtain the many lessons a master should receive before mastership. And we get these lessons from the most unexpected places and people sometimes. We also get our lessons from the greatest circumstances, the most stressful circumstances, even the unpleasant circumstances. We also get them from people we love, people who vex us the most, from similarities, and also from misunderstandings.

One of my mentors is a brilliant martial artist and has many leadership positions in the AAU Taekwondo. He tested me for 3rd Degree Black Belt and I planned on testing for 4th by him this summer. I go to his school and he goes over my forms and technique of Taekwondo and he truly knows his stuff, inside and out. This Sunday he will be directing the NJ AAU State Championships and the preparation is absolutely exhausting.

When we originally set up my private lessons with him, he said he'd be happy to help me with my training and he would really appreciate my support with the AAU Taekwondo program. I told him I would be more than happy to support in any way I can, as long as it does not interfere with the running of my school because I am only in my second year and have limited help and back ups.

Well about a month ago, I was trying to schedule a private lesson with him and we couldn't work out a day and my mentor had told me just to attend this officials clinic he was having and that would be the end of it. But because of my new arrangement with the Korean church in town I work with and having Robert as the only other qualified Black Belt who could go holding down the fort at TMAFC, neither of us were available for this clinic. I had called and left a message about the circumstances and seeing what else I could do? But I never heard back.

Long story short I called again AFTER the clinic was held and received an email a few days later. My mentor took my absence as a personal insult and did not receive my call and said a few things I was kind of surprised about, like my training was obviously not important enough to me if I couldn't make arrangements and things of that nature. To make a really long story short we went back and forth with emails for a while where in the end he said he would not help me with my personal goals if I would not help him with this personal favor and he would not be testing me.

I was upset, yet my response was a lot better than I normally may have been, because it as only the week before where I had my Tuina with Sifu that I remembered him saying "All beautiful things come out of chaos." So I sat back with wonderment and excitement, saying to myself "What awesome thing is going to come out of this!?"

I asked another mentor what I should do and he told me I should try to look and see if I could do the national testing at the AAU Taekwondo Nationals in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, especially since I am going already. I called the president and he said they may not be doing it this year. -____- HOWEVER, if they do it will be a very special Kukkiwon test and anyone who does not have the Kukkiwon certificate or if off by a number of years with their current Kukkiwon rank, they can receive it or update it. This is a once in a lifetime event, but of course due to politics they are unsure if it will happen. And then I was given like two other options.

The Kukkiwon is the highest honor and highest certification you can get for your Black Belt and are internationally recognized as a Black Belt. Most Taekwondo schools don't even acknowledge a Black Belt unless it is Kukkiwon certified. I was really hoping to do the national testing, but it was up in the air. I had no answer for the actual test and too many options.

Then almost a month later, out of the blue I received an email from my mentor. He acknowledged we had a misunderstanding and apologized if he misinterpreted my intentions. I went to his school a few days later to speak with him face to face. I was ready to talk all business about his upcoming tournament but he come right up front, no beating around the bush and put all that aside. Since we were face to face he wanted to formally apologize to me and explained how he was burnt in the past by new "school owners" and the stress of running the tournament took it's toll.

Honestly, at first I did not know what his motivation was to reaching out to me, but I was very happy he did. He did the right thing, he acted like a master. Our misunderstanding occurred because we are human, flawed and fragile, he is not marked because of this, his reaching out showed great character and that is a sign of a good master. The thought of no renegotiating hurt me the ost because my old master would have done that, but he did not burn his bridge. I couldn't have been happier.

We discussed the possibility of him visiting my school, things he was doing for the tournament, I got to see the medals (which look AWESOME), we talked about new training thing, the nationals etc.) Then we set up dates for my private lessons and I asked if I was still allowed to test with him. He told me I absolutely was. I came right out telling him the things I was looking into, not being sure where the testing relationship was going and that if the Special Kukkiwon test did take place I would be taking that test. He thanked me for being up front and told me if the Kukkiwon test did NOT take place I was still welcome to test with him.  It made me feel really good that I still had that option open to me. And it looks like I WILL be testing with him again anyway.

We take on all life's experiences whether they come from bliss or chaos either way. Because it is part of our growth and development as human beings, not just martial arts masters. I was happy to have had this experience because I learned a lot about how I must be as a mentor from my own mentor. I don't know what made my mentor change his mind and reach out to me, but I am very happy he did.

Yours in service,
ANDREW TRENTO