Monday, October 31, 2011
Again, yes!
This upcoming Sunday I am going to compete again in sparring. I am not expecting any medals or wins, but I am expecting a good experience. I am looking for elite fighters that can knock me around and challenge me, make new friends, and continue to train with them to better my skills. If you're going to get better, you have to spar people that are better than you! Not the ones who aren't up to par. You are not proving anything to yourself and not doing yourself any justice to always spar less experienced. To help them out, absolutely, but you have to better yourself!
I got a great experience at our first competition of the season. I won my first match for the bronze, then the silver medal match I sparred a competitor from Cairo, Egypt who kicked m in the neck and I was unable to continue. He was excellent, but I am unable to travel to Cairo several times a month to spar this individual. But it was a great experience nevertheless.
A few people think I am crazy for competing again this week. I ask WHY?! And all these people say "Because of what happened at the last competition!" Is that reason enough to not do another one? Just because I got hurt at the last competition means I shouldn't do another one? I don't understand the logic behind this? Why do we fall? So we can pick ourselves up.
We do not fail if we fall, but if we don't get up, THEN we fail. There is nothing embarrassing about it and when we allow ego to get into the way, we don't do ourselves justice. You don't have to act like the best, but you have to do your damn best. I am looking forward to sparring again this weekend. Not for the medal, but for the experience and the new contacts. This competition was actually my very first competition I ever did nine years ago back in 2002. I DO have a goal though for next year. I want to become a Garden State Cup champion! That is my goal for next year's competition. It is something I always wanted to achieve since I was 13. I never worked for it, but now I am putting it out there.
I competed at the Garden State Cup four times and won three golds and one silver. I am not expecting anything this year, but next year, I wanna come home with the title belt. So experience is required along it training. So even more of a reason to take advantage of going to this competition this year. So does that make me crazy? if so, then I AM CRAZY! =P
Yours in service,
ANDREW TRENTO
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Family
"A friend should be one in whose understanding and virtue we can equally confide, and whose opinion we can value at once for its justness and its sincerity."
-Robert Hall
So tonight, my Black Belts and I were invited to dinner to another student's home. Today I had a husband and wife belt test for low yellow belt. The husband is a chef and invited us all over for a special dinner to celebrate their yellow belt and to enjoy each others company. And THAT is exactly what we did. We told stories, asked questions, poked fun, LAUGHED, LAUGHED, AND LAUGHED until we were waterlogged from all the tears we had in our eyes from laughing so hard. I felt exactly how I feel when I am with the Friars of Old.
“There is no doubt that it is around the family and the home that all the greatest virtues, the most dominating virtues of human society, are created, strengthened and maintained.”
"A friendship can weather most things and thrive in thin soil; but it needs a little mulch of letters and phone calls and small, silly presents every so often - just to save it from drying out completely."
-Pam Brown "Friendship is held to be the severest test of character. It is easy, we think, to be loyal to a family and clan, whose blood is in your own veins."
-Charles Alexander Eastman
-Charles Alexander Eastman
I absolutely love Adam Sandler's movie Grown Ups. It's about these five friends who have been friends for over 30 years. They played basketball together when kids, been to each others' weddings and as adults they've kept in touch but gone on with their own lives. The death of the former basketball coach brings them all together again, and they spend a weekend at an old cabin with each others family and have the most wonderful time as if no time as passed by. And all they do is LAUGH and have a good time.
Well I can completely understand the feeling. When I did martial arts, I went through the ranks with four other people whom I hold closest to my heart. Kristin Barrett was the oldest, Nina Harkhani was next, then came Kenneth (Kenny) Perez, then Julie Feliciano (my TKD sister), and then came me, the baby. I dubbed us the name, the Friars. We are now known as the Friars of Old. I trust this group, love this group, and share so much with these individuals. Not just martial arts, however, I think it had a great part to do with our bond. Or at least set a great foundation.
(The Friars of Old, from left to right: Kenneth Perez, Julie Feliciano, Andrew Trento, Nina Harkhani, and Kristin Barrett.) |
(The Friars of Old at Six Flags in 2005) |
We've been through a lot together in our lives, and we have always been a part of what is going on in each others lives. For many years I tried to get us to do things together to keep up "Friar traditions" but it gets harder as we get older. But we do often get together, even if it's not all of us, and when all five of us do get together, it's such a treat.
All of my truest friend, or at least a great majority of them, are through the martial arts. This is no exaggeration. I believe it is not a coincidence (although maybe a coincide-ance), but martial arts is like no other activity. I kid you not, almost every person I ever met through martial arts I keep in touch with or is still in my life in some way. Kristin and I created at our old school with our former master, a kind of family. But you wanna know something? We WERE a family.
Family is who you laugh with, who you cry with, who you spend the best times with, the ones who you spend the worst times with. Family are there for you no matter what, they understand you better than anyone else, and family helps you become a better person. Family protects you, family stands up for you, family supports you, family is honest with you. And over the years, even at a young age, we created family members and people whom will be in our lives forever.
And like every family, there are generations. I went through four generations with my old master. And when I went solo, family members from throughout those generations came back and were joined with a brand new generation that was being created in the post-TMAFC days. It was awesome. It was almost magical how close the bond of this family was. I always questioned whether I could do it again, like I did in the past. Well I not only did it, but I have continued to do it.
(My family at the 2004 Junior Olympics in Atlanta, Georgia on my 15th Birthday) |
When I did events like Black Belt tests and belt tests, and even my own belt test, the family members would all come out of the woodwork to share these wonderful events. Mother and fathers of students, and students themselves, you name it, family is family. It was awe-inspiring to see them all come together for something that meant so much to them, but even greater to see the LOVE they have for the people that continue to mean so much to them. And when I continued to do tests AFTER I opened, without hesitation, they would come back if I asked and I am so grateful.
The Family at TMAFC's FIRST Black Belt Test |
The Family at TMAFC's SECOND Black Belt test |
Family members at my 3rd Dan test |
And then of course one of the biggest reunions of my family members was when I opened TMAFC. People who I have not seen in years showed up, just to show their support! They came in numbers! Teenager and young adults now, their parents from the "olden days" and some of the Friars as well! I remember Kristin and Kenny sitting and I was walking by and hear them saying to each other "I just can't believe this," meaning all the people who came back to share this event. The LOVE from this family we created so long ago is overwhelming. And it continues to grow.
It is nice to call these students "my own" because they truly are MY OWN. They are part of this family and when they come to my center, they do not realize what they're getting themselves into. It's ALL GOOD, and it's something they will never forget. Friends for life, but a true ever-lasting family. To grow as wonderful people which is an aim of the martial arts, and to watch others accomplishments and success and sharing yours with each other, nothing can truly express the bonds and connection like the LOVE we all have for each other. And you feel it instantly! Even in my fitness classes, there is none of that intimidation factor that you get at a gym. We are family, and we have a great time with each other and support each other.
In the Chinese martial arts, it is my understanding that the people whom you train with are literally part of your "ancestry" of your training. Your training brothers and sisters and fathers and uncles and cousins, etc. So Kristin would be technically be considered my sister, according to Chinese martial arts. And they hold a shrine in their training areas to honor those ancestors who's legacy of the arts is passed down. They really had the right idea.
And we always pay tribute to those who made a difference in our training and our lives. It was a GIFT to have all the instructors and Black Belts come together for the first time in a dozen years for Kristin's test last month! Energy is a very real thing. But I was also taught many years ago about SYNERGY! Synchronizing several energies together! And our energies will forever be connected!
Family reunion at TMAFC Grand Opening June 5, 2010 |
TMAFC First Belt test Sept 24, 2010 |
Owen's Jr BB Test Sept 10, 2011 |
Kristin Barrett's test Sept 17, 2011 |
So tonight, my Black Belts and I were invited to dinner to another student's home. Today I had a husband and wife belt test for low yellow belt. The husband is a chef and invited us all over for a special dinner to celebrate their yellow belt and to enjoy each others company. And THAT is exactly what we did. We told stories, asked questions, poked fun, LAUGHED, LAUGHED, AND LAUGHED until we were waterlogged from all the tears we had in our eyes from laughing so hard. I felt exactly how I feel when I am with the Friars of Old.
I am also reminded of the guys from Grown Ups. A long time ago, I had a group of friends just like that. However, there was an unfortunate split, and it hurt me bad. There seems to be some hope now for this group, but the one non-martial arts person in that group did taint a very good thing. But the love from a true family can heal anything, and that truth is such a comfort. I swear, that movie Grown Ups reminds me of us so much, it's such a feel-good movie when I watch it because I can relate to it so well. But I ALSO felt just like those guys from Grown Ups tonight!
We had a magnificent meal, we were so grateful and so happy to be with each other. And my student's children were just as happy to be around with us as well, and so well behaved! Even THEY may start training at the school! But as we ate dinner, a few times I would, as I often do, take a step back to look in on the outside so to speak, and take in everything. I am with three of my Black Belts whom I love unconditionally, whether they know it or not, and am so proud of the young adults they have become. They are also some of my closest friends in the world, just as the Friars were for me. Also a close family friend of mine was invited to join us and fit RIGHT IN with this group. And we are graciously welcomed to this home of these two students and he called us his new FAMILY.
For me, if this does not represent a new beginning, I don't know what does! I felt nothing but LOVE in that house with this group of individuals, and I was so happy to be with them. And even more proud to call them MY FAMILY. And I am so happy that the generations continue to overlap, and the brothers and sisters and cousins continue to keep the LOVE alive. I guess, as a master, I would love that to be my true legacy. The Loving Family!
My "Last" Birthday |
-Winston Churchill
Yours in service,
ANDREW TRENTO
Snow Bound
Yesterday was October 29, 2011. And it snowed -_____-. It not only snowed, but it was a blizzard. I could not BELIEVE my eyes! You would have thought we were in the middle of January. I was supposed to have our Halloween party for the students called The Monster Mash, and it was snowing from 10:00 in the morning and on! Can you believe it? I couldn't! It was absolutely insane! It's not even Halloween! I don't remember singing "White Halloween" vs "White Christmas"!
In August we had felt the aftermath of an earthquake, in September we had a major flood that people are still suffering from, and now a blizzard in October. I cannot help but think that this spiritual storm is brewing stronger and stronger. But what does it mean? Big changes? Good things? What does our future bring? I hold the belief that what we think about, we bring about. SO let's make our thoughts all good ones, and use this spiritual energy for good and good only.
Then I get a phone call from my brother's cell phone: They are out of power. No lights, no heat, no anything. The whole town was out of power except for a few parts. TMAFC had power and heat and I almost felt guilty enjoying my lights on, my scented Yankee Candle, my music on, fridge working, microwaved Grandma's vegetable beef barely soup, and had internet. But then I went and got pizza for everyone, knowing we cannot cook, and went to stay with Grandma knowing she'd be alone that night in the dark.
We talked and we were thinking, as I am sure so many people were in the dark, "How did people do it back in the day?" We were not only snow bound. We were bound PERIOD. It is amazing how crippled we all become when we take away one commodity that we render so significant in our lives, and it is a HUGE commodity. We grow absolutely dependent. I find it almost sad that people cannot find any way of helping themselves or being able to ENJOY themselves without electric devices.
My brother was complaining there was no TV, he couldn't charge his phone or his gameboy, Grandpa couldn't use his electric shaver, they couldn't use the radio unless they had batteries, they couldn't microwave anything, they use an electric tea kettle for tea, those who have electric stoves must be going crazy, couldn't contact other people using the internet to see how they were doing; all these handicaps! It makes you think, with all these great innovations, are we further handicapping ourselves in other ways?
This morning my house still has no power, but TMAFC does. Let's hope we not only avoid getting snow bound again, but not bounding ourselves anywhere else in our lives!
Yours in service,
ANDREW TRENTO
Friday, October 28, 2011
My Talk
Last night I did a talk at Lisa Sargese's class at Montclair State University. The talk was called The Secret to The Secret: Does the Law of Attraction Really Work? I did not prepare, didn't set an outline, and did not set any guidelines to follow. I purposely did this for a few different reasons. I wanted to apply the notion that I am being taught by my spirit mentor, Lisa, which is to LET SPIRIT GUIDE YOU. I have always thought at a higher level, but do I listen to my higher self? A true master can do so.
I really wanted this to be a talk that came from the heart. So as always, in front of 100 people, I put myself in the position where I really needed to be on my toes and focus on putting everything together, based on the confidence that i KNEW what I was talking about and believed in so much. My old master and I had a big disagreement when it came to talking to people, and believe it or not, my beliefs came from Lisa when I was back in her class in 2008. She told me "Information does not move people. Emotions move people." And that is exactly what I did. And that is what made my old master and I different, among many other things.
Two of my Black Belts joined me and I was most grateful that they were there. For one thing, I believe these two in particular could benefit greatly from the material, and I knew they would represent very well. At one point, I had them demonstrate a few forms and kicking combination to demonstrate focus and intensity. I knew having FEMALE warriors perform in Lisa's class would be the greatest treat for my mentor!
I did my very best during this talk and really tried to get the point of The Secret across to them and share what I have done with it and how they can do the same. But I have to say, I think one of the greatest moments last night was meeting my mentor's mentor!! I had the privilege of meeting Esmilda Abreu, who Lisa calls her master. I of course was in awe because there were four generations of mentorship in the same room! from Esmilda, to Lisa, to me, to my two girls. It was something I have great and deep respect and appreciation for.
Many of Lisa's students came up to me giving me hugs and strong handshakes with smiles, telling me how "blessed" they were and inspired by my talk. Some had tears of gratitude, some with big smiles, I was so touched by the effect. It's funny, because sometimes you doubt how much of an affect you really have on the people you speak to. I felt validated in what I was talking about, and proud that the message came across loud and clear. Thank you spirit!
But I think the greatest compliment, and of course she has said this to me before, but she spoke in front of 100 people, was from Lisa. She calls me "the genuine article." We both live our lives the best we can and to apply all that we know, living at a higher level and pushing ourselves to better ourselves and help better others. We share in abundance! How often can you find a true genuine article? Let alone, the rarity of having TWO genuine articles?? I know Lisa is the real deal and I saw it from DAY ONE in her class 3 and a half years ago. And it is with the utmost gratitude to have that said to me by my mentor. Thank you Lisa Sargese!
Yours in service,
ANDREW TRENTO
I really wanted this to be a talk that came from the heart. So as always, in front of 100 people, I put myself in the position where I really needed to be on my toes and focus on putting everything together, based on the confidence that i KNEW what I was talking about and believed in so much. My old master and I had a big disagreement when it came to talking to people, and believe it or not, my beliefs came from Lisa when I was back in her class in 2008. She told me "Information does not move people. Emotions move people." And that is exactly what I did. And that is what made my old master and I different, among many other things.
Two of my Black Belts joined me and I was most grateful that they were there. For one thing, I believe these two in particular could benefit greatly from the material, and I knew they would represent very well. At one point, I had them demonstrate a few forms and kicking combination to demonstrate focus and intensity. I knew having FEMALE warriors perform in Lisa's class would be the greatest treat for my mentor!
I did my very best during this talk and really tried to get the point of The Secret across to them and share what I have done with it and how they can do the same. But I have to say, I think one of the greatest moments last night was meeting my mentor's mentor!! I had the privilege of meeting Esmilda Abreu, who Lisa calls her master. I of course was in awe because there were four generations of mentorship in the same room! from Esmilda, to Lisa, to me, to my two girls. It was something I have great and deep respect and appreciation for.
Many of Lisa's students came up to me giving me hugs and strong handshakes with smiles, telling me how "blessed" they were and inspired by my talk. Some had tears of gratitude, some with big smiles, I was so touched by the effect. It's funny, because sometimes you doubt how much of an affect you really have on the people you speak to. I felt validated in what I was talking about, and proud that the message came across loud and clear. Thank you spirit!
But I think the greatest compliment, and of course she has said this to me before, but she spoke in front of 100 people, was from Lisa. She calls me "the genuine article." We both live our lives the best we can and to apply all that we know, living at a higher level and pushing ourselves to better ourselves and help better others. We share in abundance! How often can you find a true genuine article? Let alone, the rarity of having TWO genuine articles?? I know Lisa is the real deal and I saw it from DAY ONE in her class 3 and a half years ago. And it is with the utmost gratitude to have that said to me by my mentor. Thank you Lisa Sargese!
Yours in service,
ANDREW TRENTO
Thursday, October 27, 2011
A Humbling Beginning
(Master Peter Bardatsos, 6th Dan Black Belt, as a brand new white belt)
I met Master Bardatsos when I was 12 years old. I was training for my Black Belt test. It was after he trained my master for hi 4th Degree test and had him compete a little. Then my old master had Master Bardatsos come to our school to train a few students who would pay for a competitive edge sparring program that he ran for a few weeks. My friends Julie and Kenny actually got to work with him in that program. I would watch and workout on the side doing jump ropes, and he was actually the one to give me a little advice on how to improve my jumping rope that I use to this day.
Then after I received my Black Belt I began to compete and my old master would bring me to Queens to spar with Master Bardatsos's students: the best of the best. We would get beaten and knocked around, it was great! When I got older I would try to go there once or twice a month when I could drive to Queens and go to his school or seminars he would host, one was in fact held at my old school. I was able to spar some of the best Taekwondo practitioners and it was such a great experience, they would really help me as well. Master Bardatsos produced some of the greatest champions and they would win medals from national and international tournaments.
But Master Bardatsos is first, and foremost, a MASTER. Although he has great physical ability, the skill of a warrior, he also holds the qualities of a master such as integrity and humility. The other day he posts a picture of himself wearing a white uniform with a white belt. He has started a new journey! He has become a white belt once again and will be learning a new art of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
Isn't humbling to know there are masters who don't have an ego that will allow themselves to not only continue learning, but to start from the beginning again? To be a white belt and start all over with a brand new journey. To master one art and to work with anew, I find it inspiring and am in awe. It's what a true master would do. I know many jack of all trades but master of none, and it's nice to know there are some real true masters out there that I can so I am proud to know!
Yours in service,
ANDREW TRENTO
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
A Master Disappointment
I began training in the martial arts in 1998. I trained under my master for ten years at his school until 2008. They really were some of the best years of my life. I started very young and pretty much grew up at the school. From a young boy of an age with a single digit to entering adulthood, I spent most of my time at my martial arts school. Yeah, I loved it that much. I took my training very seriously, and was a very good student. But for eight of those years I also taught, and found a new love within the martial arts, which was sharing what I knew and seeing other get better.
I loved and respected my master more than anything else. He was my life mentor, my training was so well rounded, and I excelled. I would have done anything for my master, and I did. But my doing everything and anything for him had it's consequences, for me and for others who followed. No matter what though, I stood behind him. After all, he was my master. A true martial arts student gives his master the utmost respect no matter what.
Well there came a day, where things changed and truth hurts. The truth of who your master really is. My master had a reputation for YEARS of not being able to practice what he preached. And you know what, it was true. And it hurt me more knowing it, and turning the cheek, choosing not to believe it was true. But the real low blow was realizing, and then years later experiencing that all he invested in us was not time, not emotion. You may think that might be the right thing to do as a teacher, but this is martial arts. This is a personal experience. This is not your regular every day kind of activity.
Over the years, my master hurt many people. Entire families would leave bitter, hurt, and with anger close to hatred. I am not exaggerating. I never knew someone who was disliked by so many people. Every where I turn, and find people who know or knew him, no where can I find true genuine likeness for this man. I was probably the only one at one time.
The earliest story I can think of is one of my former instructors leaving our school and was so damaged by the experience she wanted nothing to do with martial arts every again, he ruined it for her. Only recently, a dozen years later, did we get her to come to a Black Belt test here as a spectator. The years in between, families would leave and have nothing nice to say. Then the real kicker was when my dear friend Kristin Barrett was let go, and the whole situation was blown out of proportion. My attitude changed big time toward him after that, and I almost left with everyone else, but something kept me there. One reason was for the students, I didn't feel I could leave them. The second, I knew I didn't get everything I needed from my training with him. Although he could not practice what he preached, it didn't mean what he was preaching wasn't good stuff.
I don't know what Kristin felt about me staying for those years after her departure, but I kept her memory alive as much as I could in a positive light and would not allow him or anyone else try to sabotage her in any way. Maybe it was another reason I stayed. Then there was me. Many people tell me and have TOLD me before and after my time at my old school, he was threatened by me. I never wanted to believe the possibility to ever be true, but evidence is strong. His way of thinking and reasoning is so distorted, it's almost scary. No, worse--it's a disappointment. He tried to limit me and control my personal life and tell me I could not have outside contact with my FRIENDS and their families outside the school. Well the families themselves fought this and had approached him. Then the CSI agent I believe to be, got enough "evidence" to prove I went "against policy" when the families TOLD HIM it was none of his business, and let me go. But I fought, and threw all the lessons in his face he ever taught me. You know what? He didn't apply any of it. The opportunities were there, but he took the high road. What a disappointment.
How could someone who can teach me such wonderful lessons like the simple lessons of water not be able to live the life martial arts has to offer? He may claim he can, but his history is plain as can be. But I forgave him. Yes I did. A month later, I was able to get bring myself to forgive him and make a decision to move forward by starting my own school. And if anything, he did me the greatest favor ever, as so many people have said before about themselves.
When I left the school, I returned to see three belt tests within three months. I was invited by the families of the students I once taught, and they were very happy to see me. I did nothing wrong, and I wasn't going to let him make it like I did or his reasons having any serious reasoning. By the third belt test, he actually asked me not to return and we had words. But you know what? We ended up leaving on good terms and hug and say "we're okay." Well one of my friends was having his last belt test there, and really wanted me there. His father went to speak to him and he told my master his son's ex-karate friends are coming to the test, he hopes there won't be a problem. He said "Sure anyone, except Andrew Trento." WHAT?! "Andrew Trento is forbidden on the premises."
FORBIDDEN ON THE PREMISES?? After leaving with a hug saying "We're good?" you're going to re-neg like that? He played me. I was angry, but didn't want to start trouble. But my friend pushed me, he really wanted me there and I told him my intentions of going are to support him, not be spiteful. Well we all stood outside the school at the end of February 2009 with a Poke'mon blanket around us a cheered him on from outside. I was OUTSIDE the premises, not on them! I bowed to my old master when I saw him, I waved, I said hello--he ignored me, gave me the cold shoulder. He was pissed. But I did nothing wrong, and he couldn't make me out as if I did. I was nice to him. He was not in return. I closed the doors from that point, he wanted to start this Battle of the Sirs and I was not engaging.
I opened my own school officially in 2010, it just so happens to be in the same town as him. Not intentional, it was the best location and deal I could get. Ten months ago, I went to the martial arts store to buy boards. You have to be buzzed in to get inside. When I got in, I looked into the room and there was only one man there, and it wasn't the supply man....it was my old master. First time in almost two years we meet. It took 20 awkward seconds for us both to realize who we were looking at. Then I finally walked up to him and bowed and said "Hello Sahbumnim...how are you?" and I shook his hand, or more of me placing my hand in his and shaking it. He said nothing to me. He was writing out a check and then he went looking for the supply owner. I kept conversation light and joked a little, he made faces. Then he tried to open the locked door and couldn't open the door--he couldn't get out of there fast enough. I made a comment "They bolt us in here, eh? haha" He smirked and then got the door open and left.
He didn't say one thing to me! NOT ONE! That was his moment and he missed it! And I was once again, polite and kind. Well history repeats itself. This past June, Kristin runs into him at PetSmart! He saw her first, had a little smirk and said an abrupt "hello Kristin." She responded "hey" and went around him and his dog. My old master, his wife, and daughter were at a pet training class at PetSmart -____-, figures. When the class ended, they remained behind and didn't leave until Kristin left the store because in order to leave the store they would have to walk past her and they wouldn't. Real mature, eh? I had several missed phone calls from Kristin, she knew I would understand that flipped stomach feeling. I never had so many missed phone calls from her, I called back saying "Who died??"
But it's not only Kristin and I. Another former Black Belt adult student ran into him at a restaurant, who has done NOTHING to him, and he was snubbed. Two women signed up at my school but asked first if I was associated with his school. I said no and they were so grateful because they didn't want to run into any of "those people." I was there ten years, I don't remember these women so it must have been before my time when they had an altercation with him. And the competition we went to at the beginning of the month, I ran into an old student who is at a new school and his mother told us how she left because of "Sir". Shocker.
Well this is my latest qualm with my old master, who does not live like a master. Last month I had two Black Belt tests. Students of his came to support, even participate in the tests. I welcomed his students with open arms as guests, called his Black Belts by last name (which is what you're supposed to do to Black Belts regardless of age for respect) and had them help as well. I acknowledged them, asked how they were doing, wished them best of luck, told them they are always welcome, etc, the whole nine yards.
Well last week, some of those students Black Belt tested at my master's school. MY students wanted to go and be spectators since THEY supported them at their tests. Well little Owen went with his mother, and another Black Belt girl of mine, and my master did not say ONE thing to them, nor approached them AT ALL. THEN another Black Belt of mine, Andrew Kranich, went after classes to be supportive. He was still in uniform from being in class, so you can obviously see he is a Black Belt. Well my master walks by him and Andrew bows politely and says "Hello, Sir." My old master DID NOT bow back, looked at him and just said "Mr. Andrew.." and walked on.
EXCUSE ME?! You call Black Belts by their last name number, one! It should have been Mr. Kranich! Two, he can't bow back!? What a disappointment. I treated his students with respect, made them feel welcome, kept things light hearted, and I called HIS Black Belts by last name, he cannot return that respect to MY students? Shame on him. SHAME. ON. HIM. I am so disappointed. And to all his students who read this blog, you are always more than welcome to come visit, train, participate, and say hello at my center!
Why am I so disappointed? I don't know why. I expect this, it's the same old story, and I know what he is like. I don't take away from anything he has accomplished. He is a 4th Degree Black Belt himself and owned his school for 17 years. I give him all the credit for giving me the skills to move on with my training solo, for the ability to be the kind of student I am, and the direction I chose to take and do things maybe he himself could not do. But it saddens me that someone who could teach such wonderful things, cannot use them himself, and cannot live the life of a true master. What a disappointment.
Yours in service,
ANDREW TRENTO
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Aspiring for More
"Forgive yourself for wanting more. Not everyone has the same goals & dreams. Don't beat yourself up because you have aspirations to live a full, prosperous life. Forgive everyone else for wanting less. Some people are actually fine staying right where they are, unchanged, and believe me they are not going to understand AT A...LL why you do what you do. But that's ok. You only have one life...live it to YOUR expectations, and no one else's. Now go on, get going! Do it your way!"
-Master Kevin Balon, 7th Dan Black Belt
So once again, the topic of forgiveness is found in my every day life and unintentionally. On one of my mentor's Facebook pages, Master Kevin Balon wrote and insightful "tip of the day" for all to see. And again, a new light is shed upon the topic. Yes, forgiveness of self, I get it. But forgiveness to yourself for WANTING MORE. Interesting concept. I am ALWAYS wanting more. My old master taught me to always be happy, but NEVER satisfied. Always strive to be better yourself, and nothing is ever perfect but you can always get better.With that being said, I am my worst critic. I am very hard on myself, and I am always pushing the envelope. My standards and expectations are very high, ESPECIALLY for a master-in-training. But sometimes, I find myself getting frustrated when other people settle or don't push themselves AT ALL, especially the ones who complain and especially the ones who have the potential. But Master Balon says to forgive others for wanting less than you. And he's right. We have to always take a step back and say "well they're not me." Even though other people CAN do exactly what I am doing or get exactly what I want or have, they chose otherwise. It's not one's abilities that define who they are, it is their choices.
However the other flip side to that is when someone like myself, who HAS such high expectations, and wants to do AWESOME things and share it with everyone, people try to hold you back when you move forward. Sometimes they don't even realize it themselves. Another quote I saw the other day from my mentor, Professor Lisa Sargese, she posted "Whenever you try to do something Good, people question your motives. Whenever you try to do something Great, they question your methods. Don't let that stop you form doing Good or Great things." And I believe that is EXACTLY the point Master Balon ends with.
No one is ever going to understand what you do and why you do them. Only one thing to do though, live you OWN LIFE. Life up to your OWN expectations. And sometimes you need help! Don't be proud and not ask. It's something I learned a few years ago, and I "got over myself" and started to when I really needed it. For example, I am NOT living up to my expectations right now and I am frustrated and trying to be as patient as possible. And I do the best I can and being patient with myself. But I also know I need HELP.
So one of my best friends and Black Belts at my school, Robert Lisciandrello, trains with me in the mornings (this training helps him too, so win/win!), there are certain things Lisa helps me and WILL be helping me with to move forward and keeping myself pushing past the obstacles. I'm actually meeting with her tomorrow for such things. John called me once again this morning to make sure I was woken up and on my feet and DID not hang up until I was. He even got me before the alarms went off!
But the best helpful moments are the ones you don't even expect. I went to the deli next door to my school and I was about to buy one of my favorite cookies: the black and white cookies. You know which ones! Those big cookies where half is chocolate and the other half vanilla. Well when I went in there I was going to buy one and the girl at the register said "NO!!!!! NO! I am NOT selling this to you! NO!" I was shocked! My first initial reaction was who the hell are YOU to deny me my cookie?? The second reaction was, is this a sign??
She then continued after my very shocked and confused gaze, "You told me last time you were in here (which was a long while ago) if you ever came in here to buy a cookie again to STOP you! So I am!" Honest to God, I have no recollection of this, but I am so happy she listened. And came through! Ain't it nice to have support from outsiders and in the most UNEXPECTED places?
So I am going to take Master Balon's advice and do EXACTLY that. Thanks! (BOWS)
Yours in service,
ANDREW TRENTO
Monday, October 24, 2011
WAKE UP!!!!
I had a FULL weekend. Worked all day Friday, when I finished teaching at 8:30pm, I picked up my brother brought him to a family party with me, we went home by 11, my grandparents are up and stayed with us that night, I was up with Grandpa till 2am, got up at 6am to teach at 7am. When I finished teaching at 12:30pm I did computer work and quick errands until I had to do a karate birthday party from 2-3:30pm, cleaned up till 5:30, had coffee with a friend at 6pm and we didn't realize we were there until 10:30pm enjoying our time! Got up to teach the next day, do work, go to church....BUSY weekend.
So I am wondering, am I rested enough to start my training full force by tomorrow. Well, I am definitely prepared to wake up. I had my phone alarm, my clock alarm, and my lamp on a timer to get up for 6am. No excuses! Except even though I went to bed 11pm, I tossed and turned until 2 -______-. So the alarms go off, then light switches on, and I am there like a 5 year old going to myself "NO NO NO NO NO!" on the inside. Then not two minutes later, my cell phone rings. It's the wake up call from John.
Me: Hello?
John: WAKE UUUUUUUUUUP!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: Hi John...
John: WAKE UUUUUUUUUUUUP!!!!!!!!
Me: Aww...
John: WAKE UUUUUUUUUUUUUP!!!!!!
Me: Okay....
John: WAKE UUUUUUUUUUUUUUPP!!!!
Me: Okay..I'm getting up...
John: Are you up?
Me: No..
John: WAKE UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: Fine...
John: Are you up?
Me: Yeah...
John: Are you sitting up?
Me: No...
John: WAKE UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(mind you, he is YELLING this each time)
Me: okaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy....
John: Are you sitting up?
Me: Yes.....
John: Are you on your feet?
Me: -____- No....
John: WAKE UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!
Me: ALRIGHT!!! I'm UUUUUUUUUUP!!!!!!
John: Now go put your head in the toilet!
Me: WHAT!?
John: Okay! Happy workout sunshine!!!!
So if there is one thing I can say about this morning.....I WOKE UP!!!!!! And you know, thank God I did. Did the workout, feel motivated to do things, getting things done, and motivated to learn. Good day! Thanks John!
Yours in service,
ANDREW TRENTO
So I am wondering, am I rested enough to start my training full force by tomorrow. Well, I am definitely prepared to wake up. I had my phone alarm, my clock alarm, and my lamp on a timer to get up for 6am. No excuses! Except even though I went to bed 11pm, I tossed and turned until 2 -______-. So the alarms go off, then light switches on, and I am there like a 5 year old going to myself "NO NO NO NO NO!" on the inside. Then not two minutes later, my cell phone rings. It's the wake up call from John.
Me: Hello?
John: WAKE UUUUUUUUUUP!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: Hi John...
John: WAKE UUUUUUUUUUUUP!!!!!!!!
Me: Aww...
John: WAKE UUUUUUUUUUUUUP!!!!!!
Me: Okay....
John: WAKE UUUUUUUUUUUUUUPP!!!!
Me: Okay..I'm getting up...
John: Are you up?
Me: No..
John: WAKE UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: Fine...
John: Are you up?
Me: Yeah...
John: Are you sitting up?
Me: No...
John: WAKE UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(mind you, he is YELLING this each time)
Me: okaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy....
John: Are you sitting up?
Me: Yes.....
John: Are you on your feet?
Me: -____- No....
John: WAKE UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!
Me: ALRIGHT!!! I'm UUUUUUUUUUP!!!!!!
John: Now go put your head in the toilet!
Me: WHAT!?
John: Okay! Happy workout sunshine!!!!
So if there is one thing I can say about this morning.....I WOKE UP!!!!!! And you know, thank God I did. Did the workout, feel motivated to do things, getting things done, and motivated to learn. Good day! Thanks John!
Yours in service,
ANDREW TRENTO
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Time
I have heard many times growing up that Time heals all wounds. In my experience, the more time goes by, the worse the pain became. But that was only my experiences. Why? Because people don't LET THINGS GO! So I wrote yesterday about not caring about the trauma one experiences as a way to finally letting go. I am told once again, with time I will be able to find forgiveness, I will be able to get over the trauma, and with time I will move on with an explosion of momentum.
I guess this is where I need a hit in the back of the head. Why? Well I say this with positives in my training. For example, I am having a challenging time in waking up and getting a consistent routine with my training and working on certain material, but I keep saying IN DUE TIME I will get to where I want to be. And I KNOW IT. So I guess I really should take that same attitude to the negative things and bringing them into the positive. In due time...in due time...begin with the end in mind.
I don't have much, but one thing I have ALWAYS had is TIME. When my time is wasted or disrespected THAT is probably the only time (no pun intended) I'll get angry. I ALWAYS use my time, if not wisely or productively, I'll at least use it amusingly. I create moments where I learn or just simply enjoy. I always say it's not how much time you have, it is how you use it. My master taught me that a long time ago, and it is something I still live by every day.
One day I had a class with my master where he explained to use how we only needed 15 minutes or less to make massive improvements in our training. Our faces were full of skepticism. But he continued the lesson. We all chose something we wanted to improve on drastically. He gave us drills, told us ot put 150% focus and effort and we did what we were supposed to do. After 15 minutes of working intensely on our drills we performed whatever it was we were working on. Our jaws dropped and eyes popped out of our heads. We could not BELIEVE the progress we made. You would have thought we had practiced for weeks to gain this improvement!
That lesson with my master stayed with me forever. I did it with training, projects, goals, etc. I used my time to the best of my ability and with the highest level of focus and effort. So you know my mentality of 15 minutes worth of work. Can you imagine what I do when i have 2 hours? But now with the mental and spiritual training, it works the same way, and the struggles we create make that time drag on.
This is what I am working on. Using the time wisely to heal, understand, accept, let go. And I guess to forgive MYSELF for dragging this on. Most people say I just need to forgive myself for allowing and attracting the circumstances that gave me some of the biggest lessons ever. The greatest clarity. Well, my mentor Lisa Sargese told me that my higher self knew that in order to be in alignment to reach my highest potential and to get rid of the things/people that would hold me back and hurt me. SO the events were attracted by me, my spirit, in order to truly grow and intervened properly, even if it was painful. I have to trust that the events were the best way and the only way for that true clarity to come.
The people's role's were perfectly played for this to happen. The lying, the conspiring, the manipulating, everything happened exactly how it was supposed to, according to Lisa. And it all makes sense. And I need to be grateful for it. It's truth. Not a lie. I'd rather live truth and feel pain, than living a lie and being painless. I mean that. So now it's time to live it.
In an interview with Lucille Ball, she was asked if there was anything she would change in her lie. She stopped and thought and she said "No, I liked what happened to me. I wouldn't change one thing, because everything, good and bad, brought me to being what I am today. No, I liked what happened to me." I guess I should feel the same as Lucy. Why am I not yet? TIME. I need more time to really feel it.
Okay Time. Do your stuff.
Your in service,
ANDREW TRENTO
I guess this is where I need a hit in the back of the head. Why? Well I say this with positives in my training. For example, I am having a challenging time in waking up and getting a consistent routine with my training and working on certain material, but I keep saying IN DUE TIME I will get to where I want to be. And I KNOW IT. So I guess I really should take that same attitude to the negative things and bringing them into the positive. In due time...in due time...begin with the end in mind.
I don't have much, but one thing I have ALWAYS had is TIME. When my time is wasted or disrespected THAT is probably the only time (no pun intended) I'll get angry. I ALWAYS use my time, if not wisely or productively, I'll at least use it amusingly. I create moments where I learn or just simply enjoy. I always say it's not how much time you have, it is how you use it. My master taught me that a long time ago, and it is something I still live by every day.
One day I had a class with my master where he explained to use how we only needed 15 minutes or less to make massive improvements in our training. Our faces were full of skepticism. But he continued the lesson. We all chose something we wanted to improve on drastically. He gave us drills, told us ot put 150% focus and effort and we did what we were supposed to do. After 15 minutes of working intensely on our drills we performed whatever it was we were working on. Our jaws dropped and eyes popped out of our heads. We could not BELIEVE the progress we made. You would have thought we had practiced for weeks to gain this improvement!
That lesson with my master stayed with me forever. I did it with training, projects, goals, etc. I used my time to the best of my ability and with the highest level of focus and effort. So you know my mentality of 15 minutes worth of work. Can you imagine what I do when i have 2 hours? But now with the mental and spiritual training, it works the same way, and the struggles we create make that time drag on.
This is what I am working on. Using the time wisely to heal, understand, accept, let go. And I guess to forgive MYSELF for dragging this on. Most people say I just need to forgive myself for allowing and attracting the circumstances that gave me some of the biggest lessons ever. The greatest clarity. Well, my mentor Lisa Sargese told me that my higher self knew that in order to be in alignment to reach my highest potential and to get rid of the things/people that would hold me back and hurt me. SO the events were attracted by me, my spirit, in order to truly grow and intervened properly, even if it was painful. I have to trust that the events were the best way and the only way for that true clarity to come.
The people's role's were perfectly played for this to happen. The lying, the conspiring, the manipulating, everything happened exactly how it was supposed to, according to Lisa. And it all makes sense. And I need to be grateful for it. It's truth. Not a lie. I'd rather live truth and feel pain, than living a lie and being painless. I mean that. So now it's time to live it.
In an interview with Lucille Ball, she was asked if there was anything she would change in her lie. She stopped and thought and she said "No, I liked what happened to me. I wouldn't change one thing, because everything, good and bad, brought me to being what I am today. No, I liked what happened to me." I guess I should feel the same as Lucy. Why am I not yet? TIME. I need more time to really feel it.
Okay Time. Do your stuff.
Your in service,
ANDREW TRENTO
Saturday, October 22, 2011
To Care or Not to care
Whenever I hear "I don't care" I can't hep but laugh because of think of the classic ending of Who's on First by Abbott and Costello. "The next guy hits a long fly ball to Because. Why? I don't know, he's on third and I DON'T CARE!" "Oh he's our shortstop!" LOL LOL LOL!!!!!!!
But seriously, is there a time to care and a time not to care? I am a very caring person, and can be very sensitive at time, because I take a lot to heart and put my heart and sol in almost everything I do. My level of appreciation goes to levels beyond most, and I care very much about people, events, memories, and objects with great emotion. I will even do things for other people when THEY don't care or appreciate it. It's just how I choose to be. A lot of people say, if others don't care why should you? Well it's important to me to be a servant leader, which is doing without wanting in return regardless, so I care anyway.
Then a lot of people act based upon how other people feel. Sometimes you have to be considerate of others, our of respect, or to be kind. But when it gets to the point where it dictates your life, dictates your well being, and dictates who you are as a person, that is when you have to take a step back and NOT care about what others feel because you don't want it to take away from who you are!
Then comes the point where people begin rumors or speak out against you or another person based on lies, ignorance, or to be malicious. However, I heard a great quote recently that stated "Pay no mind to those who talk behind your back, it simply means you are two steps ahead." I liked this saying. I never dealt with this growing up in my childhood, or even in my adolescent years. But recently, a former friend went out of his way to save his butt and took the high road out and began telling lies and create enmity among many people. Truth later peeked out of the fog over time, but there are still a few who are stuck in these lies and believe them and act upon them. It hurts very much to see such ignorance. If they were strangers or acquaintances, I probably wouldn't care. But because these people were once close to me, it hurts a lot. And only my closest relatives and friends opinions and thoughts would I care about.
Mr. Miyagi put it beautifully! LIES ONLY BECOME TRUE IS PERSON CHOOSE TO BELIEVE IT. I did several blog posts about what is truth and we have come to learn that we can create our own truths and when we believe in them they become our reality. When other people believe in lies, they become their own truths. But Mr. Miyagi I think meant more about the subject person of the lies, not the outside people. If someone believes the lies about themselves that they hear, then it is true. So the old saying sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me, SHOULD be applied. I have another view on this I'll save for another time. But ultimately, when we hear rumors or lies about ourselves we know are not true, we have to remember we know better.
But seriously, is there a time to care and a time not to care? I am a very caring person, and can be very sensitive at time, because I take a lot to heart and put my heart and sol in almost everything I do. My level of appreciation goes to levels beyond most, and I care very much about people, events, memories, and objects with great emotion. I will even do things for other people when THEY don't care or appreciate it. It's just how I choose to be. A lot of people say, if others don't care why should you? Well it's important to me to be a servant leader, which is doing without wanting in return regardless, so I care anyway.
Then a lot of people act based upon how other people feel. Sometimes you have to be considerate of others, our of respect, or to be kind. But when it gets to the point where it dictates your life, dictates your well being, and dictates who you are as a person, that is when you have to take a step back and NOT care about what others feel because you don't want it to take away from who you are!
Then comes the point where people begin rumors or speak out against you or another person based on lies, ignorance, or to be malicious. However, I heard a great quote recently that stated "Pay no mind to those who talk behind your back, it simply means you are two steps ahead." I liked this saying. I never dealt with this growing up in my childhood, or even in my adolescent years. But recently, a former friend went out of his way to save his butt and took the high road out and began telling lies and create enmity among many people. Truth later peeked out of the fog over time, but there are still a few who are stuck in these lies and believe them and act upon them. It hurts very much to see such ignorance. If they were strangers or acquaintances, I probably wouldn't care. But because these people were once close to me, it hurts a lot. And only my closest relatives and friends opinions and thoughts would I care about.
The lesson there is: "if you didn't hear it with your own ears or see it with your own eyes, don't invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth!" We can all learn from this and should strive to do so. But part of letting go is NOT CARING. Why do we allow our egos to hold onto these things to make us suffer? Why torture ourselves because of other people's ignorance? If you know the truth, isn't that enough? Well maybe it should, but we all care about our inner circle's views because we invest a lot of emotion into them. Even though we are told "Don't worry about what people think," we cannot help ourselves. So, I read a monologue from The Karate Kid Part 2 that really hits the point on caring what other people think when Mr. Miyagi is dealing with lies he is dealing with from his former best friend Sato when he returns to Okinawa:
- Daniel LaRusso: Don't those lies bother you?
- Mr. Kesuke Miyagi: No.
- Daniel LaRusso: Why not? People might think that they are true.
- Mr. Kesuke Miyagi: Lies only become true if person choose to believe.
Mr. Miyagi put it beautifully! LIES ONLY BECOME TRUE IS PERSON CHOOSE TO BELIEVE IT. I did several blog posts about what is truth and we have come to learn that we can create our own truths and when we believe in them they become our reality. When other people believe in lies, they become their own truths. But Mr. Miyagi I think meant more about the subject person of the lies, not the outside people. If someone believes the lies about themselves that they hear, then it is true. So the old saying sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me, SHOULD be applied. I have another view on this I'll save for another time. But ultimately, when we hear rumors or lies about ourselves we know are not true, we have to remember we know better.
So I am talking to a friend today who reads my blog religiously. I am flattered for her loyalty to me and in her following of my blog, but I was even more appreciative of the trust she had in me to confide in me things she felt I could relate to that could help me with the struggles I am currently going through. We discussed my inability to forgive one person and trying to let go and accept and try to get to the point of forgiving. The process has indeed been a difficult one. Then she said something that was SUCH an OOOOOOHHHH moment for me:
"You know when you will be able to let go and forgive? When you stop caring about it all." GASP! How much sense does that make right now!? I am struggling to let go, because I still care too much about what happened and still care about what those people say when I know better, and because I still care, anger remains. Anger keeps you connected. It's a perverse concept, but it truly does. I don't want to be connected to these sufferings. So I am beginning to see the progression I need to make. It's a progression because it will lead me to exactly where I'll need to be as I go through the process, because it WILL be a process.
I have to start not caring about it all: the lies, deceit, betrayal, the ignorance-- stop caring about it! I know better! This will lead me to understanding. Understanding the whys, hows, whats, and gaining that clarity that will allow me to accept what is. With acceptance comes recovery in letting go. When I can finally let go, by understanding all I NEED which will allow me to grow and become better at ME, as a master continues to do no matter what, THEN will I very well may be able to bring myself to the point of forgiveness. And finally, maybe, true peace. And even though I'll understand, I still WON'T CARE.
Yours in service,
ANDREW TRENTO
Friday, October 21, 2011
Letting Go
"To let go isn't to forget, not think about, or ignore. It doesn't leave feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret. Letting go isn't winning and it isn't losing. It's not about pride and it's not about how you appear and it's not obsessing or dwelling on the past. Letting go isn't blocking out memories or thinking sad thoughts, and it doesn't leave emptiness, hurt, or sadness. It's not giving in or giving up. Letting go isn't about loss and it's not defeat. To let go is to cherish memories, but to overcome and move on. It's having an open mind and confidence in the future. Letting go is accepting. It's learning and experiencing and growing. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and made you grow. It's about all that you have, all that you had, and ...all that you will soon gain. Letting go is having the courage to accept change and the strength to keep moving. Letting go is growing up. It's realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy. To let go is to open a door and to clear a path to set you free."
-James Hillman
Not too long ago, for some reason I was on one of my best friend's Facebook page, Kristin Barrett, and on her "About Me" section of her page, there was the above quote. I don't know where she found the quote, nor do I know if she knows who James Hillman is, but she found something that really stood out for me. I have been sitting on it, pondering the meaning behind it and whether or not I truly understood it, and whether or not it is something I have applied, and if not, how I could do so.
The beginning of the quote tells us what letting go isn't. It isn't forgetting about or pretending it's not there, but it is not something to put our attention on either. It is not something to put our energy in and dwelling on and it is not about experiencing the negative emotions. It has nothing to do with gain or loss, nor blocking anything out of your mind and heart. It is not failure or defeat and letting go is not supposed to leave us feeling that there is any void that needs to be filled.
So understanding what letting go is NOT, we then compare to the second part of the quote, which tells us what letting go IS. "To let go is to cherish memories, but to overcome and move on." Hmmmm. I feel with my experience earlier this year that hurt me in such a bad way, and then not being able to find forgiveness for a certain person, the memories I have which can be good are associated with many things in my life. Those memories seem tainted to me. How can I be able to cherish them?
Answer: "It's about having an open mind and having confidence in he future. Letting go is accepting. It's learning, experiencing, and growing." Okay. So having an open mind, I don't think my mind can be any more open that it already is. I can confidently say I am the most open minded individual you will run into. I never foo-foo any options or possibilities of any circumstance. But having that open mindedness and confidence in the future. I guess that's where the motivation I am working for comes into play. Making sure I feel good about where life will go and where it will lead me. Maybe just a little faith? And to learn and experience, I am always making sure I m learning and having new experiences, I do my best not to deny any opportunities to do so. And with that I grow.
But here's the key part I think. "Letting go is accepting." I wrote before about the first step to acceptance taught to me by Albus Dumbledore in which he said "Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery." So true I believe this statement is and where I think the accepting part is a struggle. There is a lot I do not understand, and what I do understand makes no sense. Or maybe unreasonable. Irrational even? So this lack of understanding brings a lack of acceptance, which is a lack of recovery. Lack of letting go.
Hillman continues to say that to let go is to embrace all the good experiences and bad ones. Also to be grateful for what I had and have and WILL have. I think that is important. It is the attitude of gratitude that brings us abundance. I can be grateful for what I learned and find gratitude in those experiences, but I think cherishing the past memories right now is almost unbearable, because the void those memories left hurt like nothing else. And then it talks about accepting change and having the strength to move on. Well I guess everything is coming full circle now...
So I know what I have to do ultimately. It's not forgiveness right now, though I know the lack of it is killing me. But to gain this understanding as best I can and to fully ACCEPT the past and realize the past does not matter, and find gratitude to the lessons and truth of the reality of the situation, then can I truly and FINALLY LET GO. That is what I need to do, LET GO. It is kind of scary. Our egos want to hold on and sometimes thrive on the pain and suffering we run into or cause ourselves. But that "hold back" is going to do JUST THAT: Hold us back from reaching our highest potential. And that is a big no no.
So I thank Kristin for unintentionally giving me this piece of the puzzle and bringing this journey of higher self to a full circle. Now the hard part: applying it....
Yours in service,
ANDREW TRENTO
Warrior's Battle with Self
"Warriors take chances. Like everyone else, they fear failing, but they refuse to let fear control them."
-Ancient Samurai saying
I am a warrior, and have been a warrior for many years. My battles have been many, but my battles have been vast. My most difficult battles as a warrior are the ones I have with myself. One my journey to becoming a master and living the life of a candle, I search through physical avenues, philosophical avenues, and spiritual avenues to grow. But I have also been taught that knowledge is not power, applied knowledge is power. We can know everything in the world, but it will do nothing for us unless we use it.
I am making great progress in some things, and other things I struggle and get frustrated. But I have a plan! I have always had a plan. My plans always work. My plans give me direction. When the plans change or get modified, they still lead me to the end result I need. SO I guess that is why as frustrated as I am, I am not worried.
When I was a 2nd Degree Black Belt, my training took a very big turn for the better. I began a mental training outline that skyrocketed my physical training. And the organization and clarity in my training was awesome! In 2007, I began a training portfolio which I continued to do to this day. I would log EXACTLY what I did every day, made up these training cycles and schedules, balanced my curriculum training, sparring training, and fitness training, as well as the mental. I took notes EVERY time I trained or took a class, and the drills I would do no human being would sanely agree to do. Everything flowed, and progress was inevitable.
Then when I left my old master and school, it was a very difficult time and I had a few months pause in my physical training, I gained a lot of weight, and I ate terribly. Then August 2009 I chose to begin my training again and get serious. Oh it was a struggle then too. And I was discouraged as the state I was in and thought I really couldn't d what I used to. But lo and behold, by end of October going into November and on, I finally got into my routine and made great progress. By that January and on, I was in such a great flow of motion in my training and ended up being in the greatest shape of my life.
When TMAFC opened, I was balancing training and running a new business. I figured it out, but training was a little inconsistent in Sept-Oct of 2010. Then I got back on track. Then with a lot of personal trauma nine months ago, I've been dealing with a lot more on a deeper level and the need to apply my mental training was even more important. I have made progress like doing things for me like my training with Charlene in the summer, reading books I wanted to read, and doing my pictures again. But now the training.
I'm training but inconsistent or what I would render NOT up to the standards and expectations I hold for myself. But I have completely new solutions to keep my momentum going. So these are my goals: I want to be able to wake up easily at 6AM and begin my training at 7. I am going to keep up with my training cycles and Mon, Wed, and Fri do a two hour workout from 7-9 working on Curriculum, Legs, and Core. Tues and Thurs and Sat Sparring training and speed/agility. Every day I will also have an hour and half for what I call my mental training, reading or application of what I learn for psychological and spiritual purposes. Then another hour workout later either lifting the weights or cardio kickboxing.
For everything I do I have set goals and drills I must accomplish and continue to teach me. But the biggest thing is to have the will power and discipline I once had with my eating habits. I don't care how much I workout, the eating badly puts me in such a bad state, and symbolizes much that I do need. So through goal setting, motivation, hypnosis, and proper programming, I WILL accomplish these things. Starting Monday, I am gonna giv myself that boost and keep with it!
Yours in service,
ANDREW TRENTO
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Do What Makes You YOU
Lisa recently bought a new camera and has started what she calls "Photo Project Alpha." So I ripped off from her idea for my own photo projects and dubbed it "Photo Project Omega." But my photo project has a few different purposes behind it. One of those purposes is actually a homework assignment given to me by Lisa and a promise I made to her.
For years, as long as I could remember, I ALWAYS took pictures. It was something I just LOVED to do. When I was younger I would be thrilled to organize and fix up my mother's or grandparent's albums. Then When I was 11 or 12 years old I got a 32mm camera and would develop film ALL THE TIME. When I was 16, I already had dozens of albums of my own. And I mean DOZENS. It is something that made me happy and I loved doing. I could go on a vacation and not need to buy one souvenir because my TRUE souvenirs were the pictures I got developed.
When I was 15 I got my first digital camera. It was a 2 megapixel camera with a card that allowed me to take 150 pictures. WOW!!!! More than 25? Awesome! Well of course I filled up the card EVERY TIME! And I would take pictures of everything. I loved having pictures of my friends and family members. I also loved taking random pictures no one would pose for, because I caught wonderful MOMENTS and would know the entire story behind it. When I was 17 I bought a Pentax for $150 and a memory card that allowed me to take up to 500 pictures. I began saving pictures and organizing them on an 8GB flashdrive. They were organized by Get Togethers, Holidays, Martial Arts, School, etc. Then I later got a 16 GB flash drive and organized them by year and month. I had EVERYTHING, then a new Cannon camera that allowed me to take up to 700 photos at 10 megapixels!
Then the days of Facebook came and I uploaded my "albums" and did by each month of the year. I had them not only on my flashdrive but on my Facebook. SO Lisa loved looking at my pictures. But she noticed I did NOTHING for the year 2011. Well when I went through some traumatic experiences earlier in the year, I stopped doing a lot of things that I loved to do. I stopped listening to certain music, watching certain TV shows and movies, and I stopped taking pictures. I wrote a blog before about keeping the essence alive in the things you love to do and not let anything take away from doing the things that make you YOU. Well that is what happened to me nine months ago, and I am taking the proper steps to rekindle the essence of many things, and this is a biggie for me.
So finally, I got this 32 GB flashdrive to put any 2011 pictures of things I have done this year and begin Photo Project Omega. I made a HUGE dent Sunday by uploading 2,000 photos. But I am still waiting on January pictures, belt test pictures from TMAFC, and other random pictures that I KNOW are out there, and want. This represents more than you know for me. To be able to catch up on these pictures and do what I used to ALWAYS do, and then continue with it, it is very important to me. I am keeping my promise to Lisa, I am also not allowing negative experiences from holding me back to doing things that make me who I am, and I am keeping the essence alive in the things I love to do.
Once I am caught up, and fly by through November and December, I am finally going to take out my brand new camera out of the box that I got LAST December, and once I find me new 8GB memory card that I lost -_____- that will allow me to hold over a thousand pictures or more on it, I am going to continue with the photo projects. You heard it here first!
Yours in service,
ANDREW TRENTO
For years, as long as I could remember, I ALWAYS took pictures. It was something I just LOVED to do. When I was younger I would be thrilled to organize and fix up my mother's or grandparent's albums. Then When I was 11 or 12 years old I got a 32mm camera and would develop film ALL THE TIME. When I was 16, I already had dozens of albums of my own. And I mean DOZENS. It is something that made me happy and I loved doing. I could go on a vacation and not need to buy one souvenir because my TRUE souvenirs were the pictures I got developed.
When I was 15 I got my first digital camera. It was a 2 megapixel camera with a card that allowed me to take 150 pictures. WOW!!!! More than 25? Awesome! Well of course I filled up the card EVERY TIME! And I would take pictures of everything. I loved having pictures of my friends and family members. I also loved taking random pictures no one would pose for, because I caught wonderful MOMENTS and would know the entire story behind it. When I was 17 I bought a Pentax for $150 and a memory card that allowed me to take up to 500 pictures. I began saving pictures and organizing them on an 8GB flashdrive. They were organized by Get Togethers, Holidays, Martial Arts, School, etc. Then I later got a 16 GB flash drive and organized them by year and month. I had EVERYTHING, then a new Cannon camera that allowed me to take up to 700 photos at 10 megapixels!
Then the days of Facebook came and I uploaded my "albums" and did by each month of the year. I had them not only on my flashdrive but on my Facebook. SO Lisa loved looking at my pictures. But she noticed I did NOTHING for the year 2011. Well when I went through some traumatic experiences earlier in the year, I stopped doing a lot of things that I loved to do. I stopped listening to certain music, watching certain TV shows and movies, and I stopped taking pictures. I wrote a blog before about keeping the essence alive in the things you love to do and not let anything take away from doing the things that make you YOU. Well that is what happened to me nine months ago, and I am taking the proper steps to rekindle the essence of many things, and this is a biggie for me.
So finally, I got this 32 GB flashdrive to put any 2011 pictures of things I have done this year and begin Photo Project Omega. I made a HUGE dent Sunday by uploading 2,000 photos. But I am still waiting on January pictures, belt test pictures from TMAFC, and other random pictures that I KNOW are out there, and want. This represents more than you know for me. To be able to catch up on these pictures and do what I used to ALWAYS do, and then continue with it, it is very important to me. I am keeping my promise to Lisa, I am also not allowing negative experiences from holding me back to doing things that make me who I am, and I am keeping the essence alive in the things I love to do.
Once I am caught up, and fly by through November and December, I am finally going to take out my brand new camera out of the box that I got LAST December, and once I find me new 8GB memory card that I lost -_____- that will allow me to hold over a thousand pictures or more on it, I am going to continue with the photo projects. You heard it here first!
Yours in service,
ANDREW TRENTO
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Where Art Thou Everything?!
When I lived by myself in my own apartment, I was beyond organized. I knew where EVERYTHING was, I knew everything had a place, and I NEVER lost ANYTHING! I MEGA cleaned once a week, mopped floors, dusted, vacuumed, did dishes and laundry, I became Monica from Friends. But I was happy, organized, and I had control of my life.
Now, I am not too sure. I have been very forgetful these days. For a while now actually. I misplace bank statements, papers, clothing, pictures, my belongings, and I get so frustrated with myself. Recently I lost my jacket, the only one that fits me and that I use for fall time when it gets nippy. Well I lose it, tippy. It took three days before I found it, now the weather is hot -____-. My current dilemma is that I cannot find my old digital camera that has a 2GB memory card and I bought a new 8GB memory card and a 32 GB flashdrive for pictures. I took out the bag after months, started putting the pictures on my new flashdrive, have NO CLUE where the MicroCenter bag is with the new 8GB memory card.
I have destroyed my room/basement, house, car, family's cars, my office, you name it, I looked, for this digital camera, and now doing the same for this memory card. Granted, I can have my moments of "clutter" and people say it's a sign for a genius, which I can totally prove wrong LOL, but this brings me back to my original point when I started this blog.
Losing things and being forgetful is not a good sign. However, if I can change these things in my current circumstances, then that is true power to me. So I am going to step up by game, and take control of my life a little more. Organization, completely getting those ducks in a row, and then finding that damn camera and memory card!
Yours in service,
ANDREW TRENTO
Now, I am not too sure. I have been very forgetful these days. For a while now actually. I misplace bank statements, papers, clothing, pictures, my belongings, and I get so frustrated with myself. Recently I lost my jacket, the only one that fits me and that I use for fall time when it gets nippy. Well I lose it, tippy. It took three days before I found it, now the weather is hot -____-. My current dilemma is that I cannot find my old digital camera that has a 2GB memory card and I bought a new 8GB memory card and a 32 GB flashdrive for pictures. I took out the bag after months, started putting the pictures on my new flashdrive, have NO CLUE where the MicroCenter bag is with the new 8GB memory card.
I have destroyed my room/basement, house, car, family's cars, my office, you name it, I looked, for this digital camera, and now doing the same for this memory card. Granted, I can have my moments of "clutter" and people say it's a sign for a genius, which I can totally prove wrong LOL, but this brings me back to my original point when I started this blog.
Losing things and being forgetful is not a good sign. However, if I can change these things in my current circumstances, then that is true power to me. So I am going to step up by game, and take control of my life a little more. Organization, completely getting those ducks in a row, and then finding that damn camera and memory card!
Yours in service,
ANDREW TRENTO
Monday, October 17, 2011
What is Truth?
So after much thinking and exploring of TRUTH, what IS truth? Well according to Plato, one of the greatest philosophers of all time, every good thing starts with truth. And if you think about it, if you ever start a relationship, a business deal, or a project based on lies, then a lot of negative occurrences pop up. But if you start fresh with honesty and truth telling, you can continue to build on that trust and good comradeship. And those who take part in telling the truth will be happy and can be trusted."Truth is the beginning of every good thing, both in heaven and on earth; and he who would be blessed and happy should be from the first a partaker of truth, for then he can be trusted." -PLATO
So here's another spin that came about on the topic of truth. I went to see The Lion King 3D with my dear friend Melinda. And at one point Simba overpowers Scar and demands he tell the TRUTH about his father, Mufassa's death. Scar replied "Oh Simba, the truth is in the eye of the beholder..." Yet another angle on truth! The truth is what is seen in the eye of the beholder. A very true concept. Because if I want to believe in something to be true, I will. But someone else may want to believe something else to be true, and in their eyes, what they see is true. Kind of like the prisoners in Plato's Allegory of the Cave, the only see the shadows and believe them to be true.
Confused yet? Well let me put it another way. I am currently reading a book entitled The Magic of Self-Image Psychology as part of my mental training. One of the first steps to creating a new self image is TRUTH and imagination. It says in this book that most people have negative self-images of themselves that they believe to be true and in order to change one's self-image, you need to create new truths. Imagine that? CREATING truth? Is this possible?
My name is Andrew Trento. That is the truth. That is undeniably my name. But if I wanted to believe my name was Enrique Lopez, then I will believe to be true and to me that IS the truth! Self-Image is the same way, what you believe to be true about yourself will be in fact true. Remember that your dominant thoughts affect your choices, actions, words, etc. So the suggestions that you condition into your mind will eventually be true. We do this through repetition, affirmations, and autosuggestion (kind of like self-hypnosis). So I guess you really CAN create your own truths.
But there is a line. When it comes to circumstances and situations, things that are done and past, there is no changing them. So the recollection of what really happened is REALITY, the TRUTH. But people can have distorted recollections of what they believe to be truth of a situation, either with or without the knowledge of it's reality. Those are the moments we must keep our minds as open as possible and hear all sides to a story and weight out the details as best as possible in hopes that truth emerge victoriously.
So what is truth? Truth is the reality of a situation or circumstance, the facts behind something of substance and importance, and it can be one's perception based on the preconceived notions and judgments weighed out about anything. Truths can be created, but with caution. Should they be created for any selfish agendas instead of a positive end result, then those are called LIES. There really is a fine line difference. The power of intentions are very important to consider. May truth and light always emerge in times of doubt and darkness.
Yours in service,
ANDREW TRENTO
Friday, October 14, 2011
Truth vs Reality, the Facts
"Is it not the dreamer, sleeping or waking, one who likens dissimilar things, who puts the copy in place of the real object?"
-PLATO
"Like everyone else, you were born into bondage, kept inside a prison that you cannot smell, taste, or touch. A prison for your mind."
-Morpheus, The Matrix
So on the quest for defining TRUTH, there comes the debate for comparison of what reality is and what are facts. According to the dictionary, the truth is defined as the actual existence of something, verified and indisputable fact, proposition, or principle; or conformity with fact or reality. All the key words are in there, have you noticed? Reality is defined as the quality of being real or resemblance of something real. And facts are actual or alleged events or circumstances that are indisputable. So the ideas I am going to bring about are really deep and thought provoking.
In the philosopher Plato's Allegory of the Cave, it is very apparent how the mind can affect one's self and define what is real for us. In the Allegory of the Cave there are these prisoners who are chained to chairs and cannot move and forced to stare at a wall. Behind them is a huge bonfire in which these puppeteers cast shadows of things that come up on the wall. The prisoners are accustomed to seeing the shadows day by day and know NOTHING but these shadows. They believe these shadows to be real and do not question what makes them or where they came from. In other words, in the minds of the prisoners, the shadows are reality based on what their mind has been conditioned to tell them.
In the allegory, Plato questions what if a prisoner was to find freedom? Would they dare leave a routine they know of so well and escape their comfort zone to seek new realities, truth, and knowledge? If this was chosen and experienced, what are their responsibilities? It would be a challenge for the freed prisoner to convince the other prisoners that the shadows are not real because their senses in the mind convince them so well that the shadows are real. But also, they are afraid of the unknown and they have not been prepared for the challenges of the experiences the freed prisoner had.
I think we all at one time or another in our lives get stuck in our caves, or comfort zone. We believe so strongly that the shadows cast by the fire are real because the discipline of our chains do not allow us to turn around and see that there is more to see. The shadows are not truth, nor knowledge. Only questions. When we accept those false realities, what we believe is real but is not, we limit ourselves a great deal. The shadows can makes shapes such as a book, and our mind will register "Oh! Book!" But if we turn around, we will see it really isn't a book. We have to prepare ourselves for the challenges of the unknown.
The definition of reality and the shadows are very similar not only in Allegory of the Cave by Plato, but also in the action-packed movie The Matrix. In The Matrix, the character Neo lived in the cyber-world of The Matrix which was a world pulled over the eyes to blind people of the truth of the real world. The leader, Morpheus, decide to give Neo the choice to seek the true reality of the world or stay in the world of The Matrix. When Neo decides to seek the truth, its not as wonderful as he thought. The world he was accustomed to was more peaceful than the real world and learned that appearances can be deceiving. When Neo is put into te computer cyber-program, he is amazed and says that it couldn't be real. Morpheus raises the question "What is real? How do you define it?" He says if it's because the senses of touch, vision, and hearing send messages to the brain to tell you it's real and you accept them, does that truly make it real?
Morpheus also asks, "Have you ever had a dream that seemed to be so real?" What makes the difference between reality and a dream? It comes down to going against all beliefs and prior knowledge you were once comfortable with to accept th new as your reality, but also making the CHOICE to free your mind of false evidence appearing real (FEAR).
I find it absolutely amazing how easily we accept what our senses tell us is real. But the truth is, a lot of what we THINK is reality is based on preconditioned notions that CAN be altered. The more we broaden our minds and our horizons, the more tolerant we become as human beings, the more open we allow our minds to be, the more we fight against outside forces telling us what THEY believe to be true, then the more substance our realities will have.
If one was to break away from old habits and outside influences, and make the choice to expand their knowledge to discover truth and reality of the world, then they can get past whatever prior knowledge or thoughts they'd have and get rid of the fear of the unknown. We can accept what is, not living in a lie, like the prisoners in the cave or the people in The Matrix.
Yours in service,
ANDREW TRENTO