Friday, July 15, 2011

Free Will to Thinking

I have been writing a book since I was 17 years old. The title is the same as this blog "Being the Candle." I am going to get it published. That is one of my goals. So this is a little preview of something I talk about in the book that I start out with after I dissect my quote.

Scientists will tell you that the most powerful animal in the world is the human being, because they have the ability to think. Any theologian will tell you G*d made all people with free will. If you use those two gifts of thinking and free will and put them together, you would be amazed at what you can accomplish.

Most people in our society CHOOSE to look at the glass half empty, what's wrong with a situation, or on the problems that are present in one's life. Many people CHOOSE to not do something because they think they can't. Many people CHOOSE not to know an answer. And as hard as it may be to grasp, many people CHOOSE to have a bad day.

One thing I have learned from my mental training, and it is so hard for people to accept and grasp, but we our one hundred percent responsible for our own lives and our own experiences. We all put blame elsewhere instead of looking within ourselves.

"Well because of him I did this!" "Because of her my day was like that" "If he didn't do this, none of this would happen." Etc, etc, etc.

One of my favorite gurus in self-esteem and psychology is Jack Canfield. He is a co-author for the Chicken Soup for the Soul books. And in his writings and seminars, he teaches a very simple formula that may open people's eyes:

E  +  R  =  O
TRANSLATION:
Events  +  Responses  =  Outcome

We cannot control the events in our lives. The other people, the weather, the traffic, the children, the parents, the co-workers, the coaches, the pets, the stores, the car accident, the difficult client, the slow service, etc. The events will always be occurring in our lives whether we like it or not.

HOWEVER! What we do control are the responses to those events. Two different responses will give us two different outcomes. I knew two people who were sick with the same illness. One CHOSE to mope, acknowledge the pain they were in, complain about the medication, complain about aches, etc. Her responses caused the outcome of only to continue to deteriorate and go into a depression. 

The other woman CHOSE to be happy. She chose to continue doing her daily activities such as tennis, her book club, going to the movies, dines at Italian restaurants, and laughs with her friends every chance she gets. She lives a very happy life and continues to see progress with her health, no matter how small the progress may be.

Do you think it is a coincidence that the two people vary so much? Two people choose to think about two different things. And two people will have two different results. But you want to know the real kicker?? You can always CHOOSE to change your ways of thinking!! This is a very difficult task, but it certainly not impossible. It's something I want to really be able to control. It will take a lot of practice, but before you know it, it becomes second nature to just look on the positive side of all your circumstances. I'm not saying you are not allowed to be human and have your moments, but you will find those moments become less and less and quicker to recover from.

CHOOSE to think positively. CHOOSE to be happy. CHOOSE to live life fully. CHOOSE to be a candle. CHOOSE to think thoughts that will only benefit you and will only bring you to being the best you can be. 

Yours in service,
A TRENTO

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