We all make mistakes. We probably all make that statement quite often. But how many people, when the time comes, actually admit to it? The truth is, we all DO make mistakes in one way or another, and we always will. However, people find mistakes to be humiliating or failures. I sometimes feel we are taught this by society and then the individuals within society keep that notion alive.
Teaching martial arts for over a decade, I teach all the time that one of the most important things in your training will be the number of mistakes you make. Mistakes are a good thing! And many people will know the answer that "You can learn from your mistakes." But how many people LIVE it?
I can take this level of learning from your mistakes to different levels, as I always do with these new lessons. When you make a mistake, you experience the other side of the spectrum, which some of us are not always inclined to do. People want to gets things right the first time, and that is not always natural. Making mistakes can also give you the appreciation behind something you do, because you understand the complexity of whatever you are striving to do, and you also understand the amount of effort that is required to do something.
I always said I'd prefer a student who always struggled to accomplish something than one who has things come naturally because without the struggles, I find in 8/10 cases, the birth of "wasted talent" emerges due to that lack of understanding and appreciating the abilities they are gifted with.
We have to control our attitude towards mistakes. For the record, mistakes are NOT failures. It goes back to my blog post of finding the positives in failures. I never use the word failure because I don't believe in it. Our mistakes help us grow, and help us move forward. Sometimes mistakes have consequences, some more severe than others, but there are always a good purpose behind them. We cannot be so hard on ourselves with our mistakes, and I am understanding that more and more now.
When I do Black Belt tests, or any belt test for that matter, I slowly track the progress a student makes on how hey respond to their mistakes. What I try to train my students for is that making a mistake is okay, as long as it doesn't take away from our focus and effort. As long as we stay concentrated and do our best, the mistake won't break us down. As the belts get higher we see how the students master that philosophy more and more. By the time they are Black Belts, they can perform beautifully and if there was a mistake, a spectator (even one that knows what is going on) wouldn't notice the mistake because their intense focus and flow of their movements is never interrupted. When I do catch them (and I almost always do) I ask them, "Did you make a mistake?" When they answer yes, I give them props for they demonstrated that exact philosophy of not allowing the mistakes to phase you at all.
Also, to be aware you made a mistake while still moving on? And excellent skill! Its when they don't notice at all, that the lesson pushes on harder (as well as a few push ups to remind them) or if they know they made a mistake and deny it (more push ups) because then there is a question in integrity. They don't have to be honest with me, they have to be honest with themselves. Myself and other judges always know the difference between the two.
Mistakes are also good because we become better teachers. If you are a student that makes all the right mistakes, you most certainly will make one of the greatest teachers for someone else. You will know all the right ways to make adjustments and changes, and how to fix any challenges in the way. This is where wisdom is given birth. And I don't only mean this through martial arts training and exercises! Your basic life skills as well. Words spoken to people, actions made, decisions that were chosen, etc. Mistakes are part of life! Do not close yourself off to them. Always be open to making mistakes, to better yourself! We also learn from other people's mistakes. We see them, we hear about them, and we can still learn from them. This only adds to our repertoire of knowledge!
But I again approach the idea of our attitudes towards mistakes. Forget failures, but seeing them as moments of humiliation! Own up to your actions! Someone told me the other day about a scheduling mistake he made, nd left thing as they were so he wouldn't look like an "idiot." Don't ever worry about how you will "look" as many people are. There are always solutions and you can gain more sometimes by admitting to a mistake then you made one. This person probably would have been able to be more involved in his activity if he let up.
I have trained myself to always own up to my mistakes. But I also keep a golden rule to keep my mouth shut unless I know what I am talking about. Mostly because I feel like it is the right thing to do, and it does keep me from making SILLY mistakes. But I most certainly did not hide from them, because sometimes silence is NOT always the best answer. And that is where my mistakes led me. And whenever I made a mistake, being a person who holds myself accountable to my actions, I admit where I am wrong.
Problem is, when dealing with your average Joe who finds mistakes to be humiliating and failure, everyone will point the finger at the only person who admits to making them. It's happened to me recently, actually, and it's a wonder why I never feared admitting to my mistakes ever again. I can understand why people do fear it. But the bottom line, you gain so much more by admitting them, facing them, and learning from them, then to hide from them, pretend you didn't make them, and not allowing yourself to make them. You limit yourself to so much.
So I say to you, make mistakes! And enjoy them!
Yours in service,
ANDREW TRENTO
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