Insomnia

So for the past three weeks, maybe a month now, I have not slept at all. Back in February, I had such a bad time, I actually was awake for 172 hours straight. It is amazing how even once I clear my mind, other things overflow it. It is like I am not taking enough time to empty that cup, and the process of emptying my self is endless.

I hate not sleeping. I am very desperate for a good night sleep. I tried melatonin (able to swallow and chewables), and sleepy time tea. Then I tried a glass of red wine. I wrote all my thoughts out on paper, I reflected on good thoughts and memories, I even counted sheep.

I was told that this is a sign of depression. Still!? I guess there is still a lot of work to be done. A master should be able to take on this challenge head on and overcome it. I believe the background stress in everyday life is trickling into my mind, or the things I put on the back burner are still present, so that is energy that is being wasted, yet it's energy being used all the same. Fighting against bad thoughts and memories that one should not reflect on. The doubting questions of how something will work out, the proper eating and sleeping habits. All of these things contribute to staying awake.

The mind had no closure. It needs to be put in a state of rest so it can reboot, like a computer. But sometimes, it just won't turn off!! Then I think the anticipation of major decisions in one's life is also a draining energy. DO I have big decisions to make in my life? Absolutely, don't we all? But I guess there are different levels and you gotta do it one step at a time.

As I write my thoughts of my insomnia, I remember an old lesson about stress. You see, stress can never be eliminated but it can be reduced. And the biggest step to getting rid of stress in your life is organization! If you think about organizational psychology it is not necessarily where you put things (although don't think that isn't wasted energy in some way) but the organization of your thoughts.

So this is my solution. Besides the melatonin and sleepy time tea, I am going to take the time and start this process of organizing my thoughts instead of just trying to clear them. Because just by clearing myself of my thoughts doesn't mean I have taken the steps to addressing them later. They still exist! Once I organize them, I will address them ONE AT A TIME! You cannot deal with more than one, no multi-tasking, because your focus is split. You'd be surprised at how much more productive you can be by doing 100% focus on one thing at a time then smaller percentages of your focus on many things. Life moves forward by doing one thing at a time. 

I created a little formula to help me out with this to being productive and it goes something like this:

Awareness + Attention = Productivity 

So like many formulas, you cannot change the order. It must stay this way otherwise if you change the order it will not work. Awareness comes first. You must be aware of all the thoughts you have, do not deny them nor ignore them because they will always be there. You are always thinking, remember that!!

Then comes attention. Put your attention on one at a time. Where attention goes, energy flows and results will show. That is how you end up being productive and getting things done. And a sense of accomplishment can help to a good night's rest. I think enough of putting them aside, let's address them, and then work on understanding them so I can accept them. What are your thoughts?

Yours in service,

ANDREW TRENTO