Show Off Pet Peeve

"A skilled man does not show off, but a man without knowledge usually show off."
-Annonymous

I have a really BIG pet peeve and I have never talked about it before. And as such, a situation presented itself and my entire blog post came to mind! Have you ever walked through life and you run into people who are sometimes conceited, maybe overconfident, full of themselves, maybe even act as if they know EVERYTHING in the book, and they not only tell you, but SHOW you. And they show off, because they absolutely do know exactly what they are boasting about.

Those people, believe it or not, DO NOT bother me. if you're proud of what you know about or can do, then strut it, I don't care. Be proud, the lesson of humility will find you when you are ready for it. But there are also people who say they know and can do things and really cannot, which I find to be obnoxious, but still I have great compassion for those people and hopefully one day, if those people really want to do or know whatever it is they say they can, it will become true for them! Again, the lesson of humility will find them when the time is right. Maybe even when they finally accomplish what they want.

But no, those people do not bother me either. What DOES bother me, and has been a HUGE pet peeve of mine is when someone does something extremely well, and other people around them either cannot do what the other person can or cannot do it as well. And when those people see the other person doing something GREAT, they call them a SHOWOFF because they aren't doing it as well. I absolutely (what's a better word for in place of hate?) utterly DISLIKE.

Yesterday I was training three of my Black Belts for a level test they are taking together next month in January. As you know, one of my Black Belts is Robert Lisciandrello. He is testing also and has been doing a lot of training with me since end of the summer. To be blunt, he is the most prepared for this test. He makes no mistakes doing the forms, has them all memorized, knows all the historical general knowledge required, and spars aggressively and forcefully as Olympic sparrers should. And when he did all that was expected of him, he was called a SHOW OFF.

I know the others were kidding, but it REALLY bother me. It bothered me more so because it led to a reference point, quite a few actually, when I was going up the ranks. When I was a colored belt, I took my martial arts training very seriously and trained very hard, and even then held these very high expectations for myself. I made it my business to know everything I had to and to be able to perform exactly how it needed to be performed. And when I was in class with other people and friends, they would call me a show off. I would get so angry. I never let them know it bothered me, but it annoyed the hell out of me so much!

So I am a show off because I do what is expected of me? I am a show off because I do things correctly and the right way? I am a show off because I put extra time and effort into my training? I am a show off because I work really hard? I am a showoff because I always do my best and it shows? But at that time I kept my mouth shut. And I dealt with that for the entire ten years I trained under my old master.

So when Robert was called a show off yesterday, I couldn't help but open my mouth for him, because I knew (like me) he wouldn't have said anything. And if it didn't bother him, I didn't care. I do not want any of my students, let alone Black Belts, to call someone a show off just because they do EXACTLY what is expected of them and puts he time and effort into their training to meet the expectations and goes above them. That is what a Black blt is supposed to do. Not JUST meet the requirements, but go above and beyond.

And that goes for any other activity, project or sport. If you know or CAN do something, be humble about it and let actions speak for themselves. But if you're a bystander, do not call them show offs, acknowledge it with encouragement and/or praise. And the best praise is to follow suit if you must! We can all learn by watching. I always did my best going up through the ranks and as an instructor to lead by EXAMPLE and show how you should train or perform, or teach, or live life etc. And I follow what my mentors can do. As Robert does. He trains with me, watches me, and has even watched me with my mentors and then HE follows suit, and it made him better.

By calling someone a show off, even in jest, you promote an energy that does not align you with your goals, but away from them. Be proud for those who can accomplish, not jest in their achievements!

Yours in service,
ANDREW TRENTO