Don't Become a Prisoner

Daniel: Don't those lies bother you?

Mr. Miyagi: Why should they?

Daniel: Because people might not know they're lies.

Mr. Miyagi: Lies only become truth if other person chooses to believe them.

We all go through a time in our lives where rumors are made about us, or people make up lies to hurt us, or lies about us that will hurt us. And when people act out of ignorance it hurts even more. When people act out of ignorance with the INTENTION of hurting you, it hurts even more than that. If they were once people whom you cared very much about, the pain is in a depth that you cannot even fathom. 

Almost a year ago, I went through the most dramatic display of trauma by a group of people that hurt me beyond anything in my life. A key player in the situation had very ill intentions and immoral behavior and put themselves in a very very sticky spot. When an opportunity presented itself to ave their own hide, this person did so, and used their gift of the gab to persuade others so convincingly of matters that were false, use me as a scapegoat, and what made matters worse was that other people went along to protect themselves as well. 

I was made out to being a manipulator, disrespectful, a bad friend, and all these other things. Anyone who truly knows me I am anything BUT these things. It destroyed me. I was beyond hurt. And these were all people I loved and close with. I can forgive them all, except the culprit who created this chaos. A master manipulator can take the attention of them and put it where they need, and that is what this person did, for their own benefit. 

I become beyond depressed, but at the same time my life become drama-less with this person out of my life. Other people came back to my life, and good karma followed me, and bad followed that person, and will continue to do so. But consequences of this person's ill actions toward me linger through other people. I can't blame them, for they really do not know what they are doing, but they go out of their way to hurt me or pick a fight, and they've been doing it for almost a year. Yes. I have been being bullied. I allowed it t the beginning because I knew they were ignorant, and eventually they will know the truth. Also because at one time I did love these people as if they were family. 

Over time, many of them came around. A couple people here found out the truth and came around, a few people there realized the truth and apologized, and recently one of my best-est friends were got the brunt of a lot of unnecessary drama but followed suit, has gained clarity on the situation. But there is a very small few that are still stuck and ignorant and act out of irrational and unreasonable hostility.

I saw two of them last week, while I was doing a workout with Lisa during the day. They were outside in their car in front of my school and politely I waved. In front of Lisa, one of them held up two middle fingers. I couldn't believe the rudeness and in front of someone. It beyond bothered me and it hurt me very very much. People ask me, why do you let these people bother you so much? Kristin said to me once, out of all the thousands of people you have come in contact with and have touched in their lives, we are talking about less than a handful. Why give them so much power?

She is right, and I know it. Maybe because at one time they were people who I once felt safe with, had fun with, and loved as family. Maybe because the circumstances are all delusional and false, and I am a hopeless romantic. One of the people who gives me the most grief, when I see this person, after I get annoyed and angry I just want to give this person a hug, remembering the good times. I want to give out love, nothing else, which is what I should be doing. 

In The Karate Kid Part II, Mr. Miyagi goes back to Okinawa to see his dying father and his former best friend, Sato, hates him and calls him a coward from a past event like fifty years ago, and continues to push and nudge, and do all these things t bother, hurt, and torment Mr. Miyagi. The Karate master just lets everything roll off his shoulders. Go ahead, ruin my gardens, leave me stranded in a barn miles away from home, break my furniture, but once Sato and his goonies threatened and began hurting others, that is when Mr. Miyagi would take action. It's not bad karma if your intentions are for a better purpose. When Mr. Miyagi agreed to fight Sato when he threatened to tear down the village, if he died in the fight, either way the village would be safe.

At one point in the movie Daniel asks if the lies bother him and Mr. Miyagi asked why should it. And Daniel feared people would believe them. The master says wisely, as I am learning "Lies become truth only if people believe them." What hurts is when they ignorantly act out of it. But the same goes for us. And Mr. Miyagi did not act or show anything bothered him. Then coincide-ally, a quote showed up on Facebook that said "If you care too much about what other people, you will always the their prisoner." Don't become anyone's prisoner.

I have been teaching about bullying for years. And this is exactly the point that people need to learn, of all ages. Don't change who you are to conform to others, don't let other people make you think otherwise about what kind of person you are, and don't let outsiders make you think you're bad for things they know nothing about. And as a master, I can only lead and continue to lead by example.

Yours in service,

ANDREW TRENTO