Aspiring for More

"Forgive yourself for wanting more. Not everyone has the same goals & dreams. Don't beat yourself up because you have aspirations to live a full, prosperous life. Forgive everyone else for wanting less. Some people are actually fine staying right where they are, unchanged, and believe me they are not going to understand AT A...LL why you do what you do. But that's ok. You only have one life...live it to YOUR expectations, and no one else's. Now go on, get going! Do it your way!"

-Master Kevin Balon, 7th Dan Black Belt

 So once again, the topic of forgiveness is found in my every day life and unintentionally. On one of my mentor's Facebook pages, Master Kevin Balon wrote and insightful "tip of the day" for all to see. And again, a new light is shed upon the topic. Yes, forgiveness of self, I get it. But forgiveness to yourself for WANTING MORE. Interesting concept. I am ALWAYS wanting more. My old master taught me to always be happy, but NEVER satisfied. Always strive to be better yourself, and nothing is ever perfect but you can always get better.

With that being said, I am my worst critic. I am very hard on myself, and I am always pushing the envelope. My standards and expectations are very high, ESPECIALLY for a master-in-training. But sometimes, I find myself getting frustrated when other people settle or don't push themselves AT ALL, especially the ones who complain and especially the ones who have the potential. But Master Balon says to forgive others for wanting less than you. And he's right. We have to always take a step back and say "well they're not me." Even though other people CAN do exactly what I am doing or get exactly what I want or have, they chose otherwise. It's not one's abilities that define who they are, it is their choices.

However the other flip side to that is when someone like myself, who HAS such high expectations, and wants to do AWESOME things and share it with everyone, people try to hold you back when you move forward. Sometimes they don't even realize it themselves. Another quote I saw the other day from my mentor, Professor Lisa Sargese, she posted "Whenever you try to do something Good, people question your motives. Whenever you try to do something Great, they question your methods. Don't let that stop you form doing Good or Great things." And I believe that is EXACTLY the point Master Balon ends with.

No one is ever going to understand what you do and why you do them. Only one thing to do though, live you OWN LIFE. Life up to your OWN expectations. And sometimes you need help! Don't be proud and not ask. It's something I learned a few years ago, and I "got over myself" and started to when I really needed it. For example, I am NOT living up to my expectations right now and I am frustrated and trying to be as patient as possible. And I do the best I can and being patient with myself. But I also know I need HELP.

So one of my best friends and Black Belts at my school, Robert Lisciandrello, trains with me in the mornings (this training helps him too, so win/win!), there are certain things Lisa helps me and WILL be helping me with to move forward and keeping myself pushing past the obstacles. I'm actually meeting with her tomorrow for such things. John called me once again this morning to make sure I was woken up and on my feet and DID not hang up until I was. He even got me before the alarms went off!

But the best helpful moments are the ones you don't even expect. I went to the deli next door to my school and I was about to buy one of my favorite cookies: the black and white cookies. You know which ones! Those big cookies where half is chocolate and the other half vanilla. Well when I went in there I was going to buy one and the girl at the register said "NO!!!!! NO! I am NOT selling this to you! NO!" I was shocked! My first initial reaction was who the hell are YOU to deny me my cookie?? The second reaction was, is this a sign??

She then continued after my very shocked and confused gaze, "You told me last time you were in here (which was a long while ago) if you ever came in here to buy a cookie again to STOP you! So I am!" Honest to God, I have no recollection of this, but I am so happy she listened. And came through! Ain't it nice to have support from outsiders and in the most UNEXPECTED places?

So I am going to take Master Balon's advice and do EXACTLY that. Thanks! (BOWS)

Yours in service,
ANDREW TRENTO